


Three months ... (is a long time)

by mindoublejin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Boarding School, Kinda cliche?, Love Triangles, M/M, Questionable Friendships, Slow Burn, Some Swearing, Teenage Drama, mentions of alcohol and weed, mentions of sex but nothing explicit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 58,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25594186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindoublejin/pseuds/mindoublejin
Summary: Where Hyunjin only wants to be loved, Jisung falls for a stranger, Felix falls for someone who will never love him back, Minho is confused, Chan thinks he had everything figured out but maybe not so much, Jeongin just wants to be left alone, Seungmin is the new kid at the private school and Changbin... Changbin decides to bet Hyunjin he can't stay in a relationship for at least three months before their senior year ends.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin & Everyone, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 72
Kudos: 117





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and thank you for clicking on this. Before you start reading you should know English isn't my first language, I apologize for any mistake :)

Hyunjin had never been one to like parties.

It wasn't because he didn't have friends or was bad at talking to strangers. But every time he would attempt one of these parties, he would feel lonely as he saw that everyone had someone to be with. He knew that if he really wanted to, he could find someone to make out and even sleep with for the night, but that wasn't what he wanted: he wanted a long-lasting boyfriend. He had been in relationships before but it never lasted long, and it never felt as Hyunjin thought it should feel like. He'd never experienced that movie-like kind of love even though he would put so much of himself into it. And he wanted that kind of love so badly.

This party was different. It was the summer before his senior year in his private boarding school, that kind of High School that was very expensive, where they were a bunch of stupid rules that students had fun trying to figure out ways to break. One of the main rules was of course: no public display of affection, which took out the fun of the parties organized by the school, which were the only parties they were allowed to go to anyway. But in this party, there were no rules, and Hyunjin couldn't help but stare at the couple that was making out drunkenly to the point where it was simply disgusting to watch, and he wasn’t so sure if it was pleasant even for them. All Hyunjin could think about was the fact that he had never known such a feeling that made him want to make out with someone in such an awful way.

‘If you keep staring, you'll look like a perv’

Hyunjin looked at the guy reeking of alcohol who had just sat next to him. His brown hair had never been messier, but it wasn't like Hyunjin was going to bother telling him how awful he looked.

‘Leave me alone, Han.’

‘I'm trying to help, you know.’ Jisung looked at him with a big smile on his face. Of course he was teasing him. ‘You should be thankful, I'm putting aside my reputation to talk to you, to help you.’

‘Well, I don't need help, and certainly not from you.’ Hyunjin quickly got up from the couch and walked outside of the house, hoping to find a familiar face. However, he didn't walk fast enough to not hear Jisung's last words: ‘don't be such a grumpy fuck, Hwang’

The party lasted for a couple of more hours, the time for people to pass out or leave. Jisung passed out on the couch curled up to a bottle of vodka, which was an unpleasant view but something Hyunjin had definitely photographed for future use. By 7 a.m., Hyunjin and Changbin, the host, were the only ones awake and well, and even though Hyunjin was about to fall asleep on the floor out of exhaustion, Changbin had asked him to help gather all the bottles so it wouldn't look like such a mess when his parents would come back home. He also had prohibited him from going to sleep without him which Hyunjin had rolled his eyes at but didn't really mind, especially knowing Changbin was nice enough to invite him to stay to his house for a few days before the start of the school year.

‘Send me that picture you took of Jisung and then delete it,’ said Changbin as he gathered some bottles in the kitchen and Hyunjin just stared at a couple that had fallen asleep cuddling. ‘It's too good to be wasted on stupid fights, and that's exactly what you'll do.’ But Hyunjin didn't answer. ‘Jinnie?’

Hyunjin looked at Changbin tiredly. ‘Hmm? Whatever, I don't care.’ He paused and looked back at the couple. ‘I want a boyfriend.’

Changbin laughed amused as he kept cleaning up with the last drop of energy he had in him.

‘Binnie’ Changbin looked at Hyunjin and even though he never had had darker circles under his eyes, he still looked handsome, which annoyed him deeply. ‘What?’ he simply replied, not giving him too much attention.

‘Be my boyfriend.’

Changbin sighed. ‘I already told you no, Hyunjin.’

‘Think about it! We would be amazing together! We've been roommates for the past three years and we get along amazingly. You're literally the person I get along with the most. The only problem is your annoying best friend but I'm willing to turn a blind eye on that. Apart from that, we're perfect together.’

‘No, we're not.’

‘Why not?’

Changbin approached Hyunjin and looked directly into his eyes. ‘You're forgetting one thing.’ Changbin could read the incomprehension in his friend's eyes and he decided to play with him, so he pressed his lips against Hyunjin's for a short instant, confusing him even more, but it wasn't like it hadn't happened before. ‘I don't like you that way... And you don't like me that way either.’ He took a step back and laughed slightly as Hyunjin rolled his eyes.

‘I really wish I did.’

‘We would be too powerful together.’

Hyunjin laughed as Changbin put the last bottle he could find with rest. They went up to Changbin's room and got quickly into bed. Changbin naturally cuddled Hyunjin, wrapping his arms and legs around him. Hyunjin was used to it by that point.

‘I just really want a boyfriend, you know.’

Changbin growled tiredly.

‘Hyunjin, it's 7 in the fucking morning and I'm tired. We'll talk about it for the millionth time tomorrow, yeah?’

‘I just don't get it--’

‘I swear to god, Hyunjin--’

‘Why is it so hard?’

Changbin flicked Hyunjin in the arm, causing him to whine loudly. The good thing about him being that sensitive to pain was that Changbin didn't need to go the extra mile to hurt him so he would stop being annoying. The problem was that he was dramatic and loud.

‘You know what's your problem, Hwang? It's that you don't really want a boyfriend. You like the idea of a relationship but you've never lasted longer than two months with someone because you're more in love with the idea of a boyfriend than the actual boyfriend. So maybe when you'll actually like who you're dating, then it'll last.’

Even though the room was dark, some light peaked through the curtains and Changbin could see Hyunjin pouting.

‘That's not true’

‘Yes, it is.’

‘No, it isn't.’

‘Ok, then prove me wrong.’

‘The fuck are you talking about?’

‘If you don't have a boyfriend for at least three months by the end of the school year, you'll have to admit that I'm right-’

‘But you're wrong’

‘-and you'll stop complaining about it. Deal?’

Hyunjin stayed silent for a couple of seconds, thinking about it. The whole thing didn't make much sense, it actually made zero sense, but he had pride and would never ever admit that Seo Changbin was right and actually knew him more than himself. He could keep a relationship three months, it was easy, he had never done it before but it wasn't impossible. He just needed the right person he wouldn't get sick of and that wouldn't get sick of him.

‘What do I win?’

‘A boyfriend.’

‘No. If I win and I'm single again, you have to help me find someone, deal? Oh! And you can't complain about me talking about it.’

Even though Hyunjin couldn't see it, he was a hundred percent sure Changbin had just rolled his eyes. His roommate eventually sighed, exhausted.

‘Deal.’


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm fucked. I'm _fucked_."

It was a Sunday afternoon, just before the beginning of the senior year, and all Hyunjin seemed to do was stare at the ceiling from his best friend's bed. He had thought it over for a couple of days, how he could get a long-lasting boyfriend, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it would be harder than he thought. It's not that he didn't think he could get a boyfriend, the problem was that there weren’t enough queer boys in school. He had already dated a couple of them or had tried dating a few more, others had been with Han Jisung, which meant they had a huge lack of judgment, the others were his best friends. From where he saw it, there was no one he could date.

He was fucked.

‘I mean... What's the worst-case scenario? Admitting Changbin is right?’ Felix didn't seem to be very interested in the whole deal as he finished unpacking his suitcase. ‘That doesn't sound like the end of the world. You're not _fucked_.’

Hyunjin sighed. ‘The whole thing is stupid either way. We are never allowed to go out of this goddamn place.’

‘Sure... _That's_ what's stupid about the whole thing…’

Hyunjin didn't even care to answer. He knew it was stupid, but he needed to prove Changbin wrong. And, more importantly, he needed to prove himself that he could love someone and not only be in love with the idea of it. What he couldn't deny was that Changbin had somehow gotten into his head and that's why he didn't seem to get his mind to focus on anything else.

‘Hwang Hyunjin! I told you not to use my fucking bed when I’m not here!’

But Hyunjin didn't move, not like he had the time to either way. Minho had already dragged him out by the arm and tossed him onto the floor. Felix was just laughing as he sat in his bed while Hyunjin cried out of pain.

‘Stop whining. That's what you get for not respecting me.’ Minho sat on his bed, proud of himself, as Hyunjin sat on the floor in total pain. Minho smiled at him angelically, as if he hadn't been close to dislocating his shoulder. ‘So what were you guys talking about?’

‘Hyunjin was saying he was fucked.’

‘Why this time?’

‘What do you mean this time!?’ Hyunjin had managed to get up from the floor and sit next to Felix, facing Minho who seemed clueless. ‘I'm not such a mess.’

Felix just laughed slightly and put his arm around his shoulders. ‘You kinda are.’

‘And you guys are the worst friends in the whole universe.’

‘Oh sure, sure, run to Changbin then... Even though, may I remind you that he's the one that got you into this mess in the first place? We, on the other hand, didn't do anything.’

‘Exactly! You should be finding me a boyfriend! Or at least you should be taking this seriously and help me!’

And that's when Minho understood what they were talking about in the first place, as he rolled his eyes. ‘Not this again.’

‘I need to find a boyfriend. That's the only way out.’

‘What if you pretend to date someone?’ suggested Felix.

‘One, we're not in a romcom, Lix. No one would actually agree to that.’ Hyunjin got up from the bed. ‘And two, I want a boyfriend that lasts. This shit goes beyond the bet.’

‘It's never gonna end, is it? I mean it's been only a week and that's all you talk about.’ Minho sounded overdramatic as he brought his hands to his face pretending to cry but Hyunjin was quick to throw him a pillow to the face and Minho burst into laughter as he failed to dodge Hyunjin's attack.

‘Find me a boyfriend! That's how it ends!’

‘I just don’t see where it includes us. It’s a stupid bet and you’ll win nothing. You guys could’ve at least bet money or something.’ Hyunjin looked down as Minho spoke. ‘Anyway, I’m going to go to the gym to work out a bit because starting tomorrow I won't have time to do it. You wanna come with?’

As Minho stood up from his bed, Hyunjin tossed himself on it, under his best friend’s threatening glare. ‘I think I’m just gonna stay here.’

‘I hate you. I hope you know that.’ But Minho didn’t mean it and Hyunjin knew it too well so instead of answering he just curled up on the bed and smiled at him.

Han Jisung had no business being at the gym on a Sunday afternoon, the day before going back to class after the summer, but there he was. Being honest, all he wanted to do on Sundays was to lay on bed, watching some useless youtube video, but life wanted him to go a different way.

Well, it wasn't _life_ , it was Chan and Changbin. They were to blame.

Most of the time he was grateful for them because they would push him to do things he would've never done on his own. Other times, like right now, a bed seemed more precious than friends.

He had done a couple of workouts but had gotten tired pretty quickly as he simply wasn't in the mood for it. Meanwhile, Chan and Changbin were following their usual routine, so Jisung decided to sit on the bench waiting for them to be done.

‘Can we go back to the room already?’ Jisung whined as he looked at the icon in his phone that told him that his battery was dying.

‘It's my last set’ Chan answered as he sat on one of the machines.

‘That's what you said 10 minutes ago! And I almost have no battery left!’

‘You could just go back to your room alone, you know’ said Changbin as he finished a set of push-ups.

But Jisung just rolled his eyes. He could. He just didn't want to be alone. So he looked back at his dying phone as he scrolled through his Instagram timeline.

‘So anyway, what happened with the girl at my party?’ asked Changbin looking at Chan.

‘Nothing,’ Chan didn't stop exercising as he explained. ‘We spend the night and that's it.’

‘You spend the night as you had sex?’

Jisung looked up as he heard Changbin's question and then looked at Chan, curious. But he was pretty sure he knew the answer to it either way.

‘Yes, Changbin. Spend the night as we had sex.’ affirmed Chan, without losing focus on his workout.

Jisung thought Chan was so lucky, to be fit, to be liked by everyone, to be straight. Not that he actually wanted to be straight, but being gay was quite hard at times. Anytime he had a crush on someone, they would turn out to be straight. And he didn’t even want to get into the whole oppression and homophobic side of things. He wasn't looking for something long-lasting. He wasn't desperate for love, just a bit desperate for attention. Chan could walk around and if he wanted to be in a relationship, he would be, because he was good with people and people liked him. He treated everyone with respect and never crossed any type of line. To Jisung's eyes, Chan was simply the perfect man.

Jisung? Jisung was just an awkward mess.

‘What about you?’ asked Chan.

‘What do you mean?’ Changbin apparently had finished his workout as he was just stretching his arms sitting on one of the mats on the floor.

‘Well... I don't know... You didn't get with anyone?’

‘Nah. I was too busy making sure no one trashed the house and Jisung didn't get too drunk," said Changbin as he smiled at Jisung, teasing him.

‘Hey! Don't blame it on me! I didn't do anything!’

‘And yet, you still ended up sleeping on my couch hugging a bottle.’

‘You don't have any proof of that.’

‘Or do I?’ Changbin smiled happily as Jisung looked at him confused.

‘What are you talking about?’, but Changbin didn't answer as he laughed slightly, Chan looked at him amused not really knowing what was happening but aware that Changbin wanted to tease Jisung as he usually did. ‘Seo Changbin! I'm talking to you!’

‘I know but I'm not going to answer.’

Jisung just frowned, pissed and sighed. ‘Whatever.’ He looked back at this phone to find out unfortunately that it had officially run out of battery. ‘Ugh…’ He put his phone back in his pocket and looked at Chan, who was still concentrating on his workout. ‘When are you gonna be done?’

‘Soon, Jisung.’

‘I'm bored. I don't have battery on my phone. My life makes no sense.’

‘Well that escalated quickly.’ said Changbin as he sat next to Jisung. ‘Going from boredom to existential crisis and all.’

‘It usually goes hand in hand.’

Changbin rolled his eyes and gave his phone to Jisung who smiled happily as he opened Twitter to scroll onto the timeline as his friends talked about sports things that Jisung could not care less about. They all played in the school soccer team, but that was as far as Jisung went. Changbin had always been very interesting in working out, and Chan, on the other hand, had been part of every sports team in school for at least one semester, and he would've kept up with everything at once if the schedules didn't overlap. His one constant apart from soccer was the swimming team, from which he was the captain, and it was the reason he had decided to take a break from every other team, to work on his swimming skills and more importantly get a scholarship for college.

Jisung had never really thought of college. Maybe it was because he had seen too many tv shows about high school but somehow it felt like after high school that was it. End of story. Happy ever after. Or maybe a spin-off that would skip the whole "trying to find yourself in the adult world" part of life. A _Skins_ type of thing. But if he was in _Skins_ he probably would be doing drugs right now, or having sex, or both. And he clearly wasn't.

His thoughts about the future were quickly shut down by the noise of the gym's door opening. Instinctively he looked up as the noise the old door did was hard to miss and found himself looking at the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his life. He really couldn't understand what made him so strikingly beautiful, was it the way he walked? his warm smile as he greeted people? There was just something about him that made it impossible for Jisung to take his eyes off of him.

‘Ok, please be subtle, the most beautiful human being I've ever seen in my entire life just walked in,’ whispered Jisung trying to be subtle which his friends were far from being, as Chan straight up stopped working out to look towards the direction Jisung had pointed out. ‘I told you to be subtle!’

‘Wait but who are you talking about?’ asked Changbin frowning.

‘What do you mean who? How can you not see him?’ Jisung was a bit too loud as he said that so when he saw the guy in question walk towards them all he wanted was the earth to swallow him. ‘Shit! He's coming over! Quick! Let me use the machine!’

Chan frowned, confused. ‘Why?’

‘I need to look good and strong.’ Jisung got up from the bench and made a sign for Chan to move away from the machine, not realizing how stupid it was to do it after he had already been seen by his crush.

‘Hey,’ Jisung turned around and was quickly confused as Changbin and his crush exchanged a hand check. Jisung was even more confused as his crush made his way to Chan to greet him as well. He then stood in front of Jisung and smiled warmly at him. ‘Hey, I’m Minho.’

‘H-Hey…’

Minho quickly moved away from him and looked at Changbin. ‘You came here alone?’

‘Yeah, I wanted to get some workout done before the year starts,’ answered Minho. ‘I didn't do much this summer. I was actually thinking about joining some sports team or something to keep moving and shit.’

‘You should join the soccer team!’

Jisung didn't realize how desperate he sounded until he said those words out loud. And Jisung was convinced that if he would've been talking to anyone else, they would've frowned and considered him a "weirdo" like they usually did. But Minho? Minho turned to him and smiled at him.

‘Yeah, actually I was thinking about soccer. I don't think I would suck that much at it; plus you guys are in the team, right?’

‘Yup, it would be amazing to have you there as well,’ said Chan as he got up from the machine. ‘There's a bunch of spaces available because a lot of players in the team were seniors last year.’

‘Cool. Trials are tomorrow after class, right?’

Chan simply nodded as he cleaned his sweat with a towel. Meanwhile, Jisung, shaking from head to toe, tried to sit on the machine but failed to as he tripped and fell to the floor, which led to Changbin nearly falling on the floor himself out of laughter. Chan tried not to laugh as he felt bad for his friends and Minho barely blinked. Jisung tried his best to get up but quickly realized how bad his foot was hurting so he decided that it was better to stay on the floor than to ask someone for help to get up. After all, his plan to look cool in front of Minho had miserably failed and if he stayed on the floor it couldn't get any worse.

‘Anyway…’ Chan took his look away from Jisung. ‘Yeah, it's tomorrow.’

‘Ok, cool, see you there then.’

Minho smiled warmly to each of them before walking away and once he was completely out of sight, Changbin just started laughing once again and this time Chan couldn't stop himself.

‘It isn't funny!’

‘It really was,’ by that point, Changbin was almost crying out of laughter.

‘I think I broke my foot.’

‘Don't be ridiculous,’ said Chan as he gave him his hand to help him get up, which Jisung did but he could barely put his foot on the floor. ‘You probably hurt it badly but I really doubt you broke it. You’ll be good tomorrow.’

‘You're not the one hurting right now!’

‘You know what's the funniest thing about it all?’ said Changbin as he wiped the small tears on his cheeks. ‘That all of this was about Minho of all people.’

‘What do you mean _Minho of all people_!? He's gorgeous! He's the love of my life! How do you know him anyway? And why haven't you introduced me to him before?’

Chan and Changbin shared a confused look. ‘W-Wait…’ said Chan as Jisung finally sat back on the bench, ‘You mean you really don't know who he is?’

And if Changbin thought about it, it weirdly made sense. Neither Jisung nor Minho were that type of people to pay much attention to the people around them apart from their friends. They both were that type of people who lived in their own bubble, never caring about anything at the exterior of it. Jisung always avoided whatever situation that included Hyunjin, and Minho didn't go out much and much less without Hyunjin. The only reason Chan and Minho knew each other was because they had been in the same class for the past three years. Jisung, on the other hand, was in the other class with Changbin and Hyunjin. Changbin was however sure that Minho knew who he was by name, but he probably had never put a face to all of Hyunjin's stories and complaints about Han, because Hyunjin never had called once in his life Jisung by his name.

‘Should I?’

Changbin couldn't help but laugh at the situation, and how ridiculous it all was. Chan laughed as well but he felt bad about it.

‘Why are you guys laughing!?’

‘Nothing, nothing, it's all good, Jisung,’ said Chan as he tried to hold his laughter.

‘Is he straight? Is that the deal?’

Changbin stood up and placed a hand on Jisung's shoulders as if he was showing support. ‘Believe me, his sexuality is the least of your problems.’

Jisung frowned confused at the whole situation but Changbin just pulled apart from him and started walking out of the gym, followed by Chan.

‘Wait for me! I have a broken foot, remember?’

The next morning, Felix felt like dying when his phone alarm rang at 7 a.m after he had slept for only a couple of hours. Staying up playing video games always seemed like a good idea until he woke up early to go to school.

After three years of being roommates, Felix and Minho were aware that neither of them was what you would call a morning person, but they had learned to not get on each other's way. They did what they needed to do on their own and most of the time they didn't even go to class together, as Felix usually took more time to get ready than Minho. However, once in the classroom, they would sit together and spend the whole day together. They were comfortable enough with each other to know when not to say anything, and Felix was grateful for it.

Hyunjin knocked on his door not long after Minho left and they headed together to the building where the classes were held. Felix didn't talk much but he listened to Hyunjin comparing both of their schedules and complaining once again about not being in the same class as them.

They walked up the stairs to the second floor where Hyunjin had his first class. Felix knew Hyunjin well enough to know that he usually didn't say anything when something bothered him and he kept it to himself, but it was telling whenever something was making him feel anxious. And knowing the context, Felix knew this time it was Han Jisung.

Hyunjin and Jisung had never worked well together and there really wasn't a reason for it. Jisung was friends with Changbin since before high school, before Hyunjin met Changbin, and they just didn't get along. At all. They had tried at first because Changbin became very close to Hyunjin, they were roommates after all, and the three of them were in the same class together. It made sense for them to get along. However, they collided too much, and it had turned into Jisung constantly teasing him and Hyunjin getting mad at him. They eventually had resorted to just stop talking and pretend they didn't know each other, but it was hard when they had a friend in common that was roommates with one of them. Felix wouldn't go as far as to say they hated each other, but they clearly did not like one other.

‘Want me to walk you to your classroom?’ asked Felix as they stopped before the door that opened the way to the second-floor corridor.

‘You don't have to. I'm gonna have to deal with him for the rest of the year, you know.’

‘Yeah but some moral support on the first day back won't hurt anyone.’

Hyunjin mouthed the words ‘thank you’ as Felix opened the door with a wide smile on his face, hoping he could somehow comfort him. As soon as they entered the corridor, they saw the usual trio talking next to the classroom's closed door. Hyunjin had gotten used to their way of consistently being with each other. If Changbin wasn't his roommate and he wasn't part of the swim team like Chan, he would've never known who they were outside of their little group. He had never talked or as much as seen Jisung on his own.

Felix and Hyunjin walked past the group of three and Hyunjin rested his back against the wall while Felix stayed in front of him. There wasn't much space between them and the group, just enough for it not to be weird.

However, a familiar voice talked as soon as they got there before any of them could start a conversation: ‘You don't even say hi anymore?’

The two friends turned their heads to Changbin who seemed highly offended.

‘I saw you this morning, Bin.’

‘I'm not talking to you, Hyunjin, I'm talking to Felix. I thought you loved me.’ Changbin pressed his hands on his chest to pretend he was hurt. Chan smiled amused and Jisung had already taken his phone out of his pocket, losing interest in whatever conversation would follow. Hyunjin couldn't help but roll his eyes at that.

‘I mean it's understandable if he doesn't love you anymore,’ said Chan. ‘You're annoying.’

‘No, I'm not.’

‘Not that I care,’ Jisung looked up at his friends, ‘but you are.’

‘Ok, then why are we friends?’

‘I don't even know myself.’

Changbin sighed, exhausted. ‘I officially give up.’

‘Yesterday it was me you were making fun of. Everyone gets a run at it,’ and with that Jisung looked back down at his phone.

They proceeded to do some small talk, as Chan asked them about their summer. Felix talked about how he played a lot of video games while Chan and Changbin talked about parties. They seemed from worlds apart, yet Felix had always enjoyed talking to the two of them whenever he had the chance. It was small talk but it felt natural and not at all forced. Of course, Felix was way closer to Changbin and even considered him a real friend as over the past three years of him sharing a room with his best friend, they had spent quite a lot of time together. Chan and Changbin had a way to talk to people, to make them feel comfortable, even if they were from worlds apart. Jisung, on the other hand, was another story. And apart from all the things he made Hyunjin live through, Felix had no real issue with the guy, but he had always felt that Jisung did not like him for some reason. He could never understand why.

Once Hyunjin's teacher showed up to open the classroom, Felix and Chan headed together to their first class on the third floor. All the students entered the classroom and Hyunjin noticed how Jisung was limping but he didn't say anything, not that he really cared. Most days, he tried his best to keep Jisung out of his mind as all he did was annoy him. However, it was hard to keep him off his mind when he had taken his place next to Changbin.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes as Jisung looked at him triumphantly while Changbin mouthed the word ‘sorry’. Hyunjin didn’t have it in him to fight once again about how he deserved to sit next to Changbin from time to time, so he simply sat behind Changbin, next to the wall, as he usually did.

And that’s when he saw a guy not much shorter than him with brown sparkling eyes and a shy smile enter the classroom. Hyunjin was sure he had never seen him in his life, he would remember if he had.

‘Before we start, please welcome your new classmate, Kim Seungmin.’ Seungmin smiled as their main teacher presented him to the whole class. ‘You can sit wherever you want.’

Seungmin nodded politely and looked around the classroom. Hyunjin couldn't take his eyes off of him and that's when their eyes met for the first time. And somehow Hyunjin couldn't break away from it. Before he knew it, Seungmin was walking towards him and sitting next to him, and that adorable smile was now dedicated to him.

‘It's alright if I sit here?’

‘Yeah, yeah, of course.’ Hyunjin smiled at him as Seungmin took his things out of his backpack. ‘I'm Hyunjin.’

‘Nice to meet you, Hyunjin. I'm Seungmin.’

‘Y-Yeah I heard.’

Seungmin smiled amused and then looked up at the teacher that was repeating for the millionth time all of the rules the school had. Hyunjin didn't care about it. He didn't even care about Han Jisung and his ways anymore. He only cared about Kim Seungmin.

Maybe he wasn't fucked after all.


	3. Chapter 3

‘You guys are stupid.’

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow and looked at Jisung who, as usual, pretended he wasn’t listening to the conversation. However, he always ended up commenting on it, and it usually was through an insult. This was no exception.

‘Who asked you?,’ said Hyunjin followed by a sigh from Changbin.

‘No one,’ said Jisung, turning to Hyunjin. ‘But you are talking next to me... So I'm going to have an opinion.’

‘It doesn't mean we want to hear it.’

‘The fact that you don't want to hear it doesn't mean I don't want to say it.’

‘Ok, how long are you guys gonna keep at it?,’ said Changbin exhausted. ‘Tell me so I can do something more useful with my time than listen to you two argue.’

‘Whatever,’ said Hyunjin resting his back against the chair and crossing his arms.

‘All I'm saying is that your bet is stupid and useless,’ said Jisung finally letting his phone down on his desk. ‘First of all, there's no way Hwang wins, so no mystery there. And second of all, there's no real price. So coming back to what I said before: you guys are stupid.’

‘So what do you suggest?’ asked Changbin suddenly interested in Jisung's take on the bet.

‘I don't know... Money or... A dare. Like, I don't know, the loser attends graduation naked or something.’

‘You're out of your mind if you think I would even consider that,’ said Hyunjin.

‘Granted…,’ said Changbin. ‘But he has a point. It would be way more fun.’

‘Can I be part of it?’ asked Jisung, suddenly excited.

‘No,’ answered quickly Hyunjin. ‘This is something between me and Bin.’

Changbin stayed quiet and eventually shrugged his shoulders. ‘I mean... Why not?’

‘So I'm in?’ Jisung seemed more excited about that than anything else.

‘So what? Is everyone against me?’

‘Look at it this way, Jinnie…’ said Changbin as he turned to him with a smile. ‘If you win, you can fuck over both of us.’

Hyunjin couldn't deny that making Jisung pay for everything sounded good. And it was enough for him to agree.

‘Ok... Dare in and Han in,’ said Hyunjin leaning back on this desk. ‘But what's the dare?’

‘Let's ask a random person to pick for us so it's not biased,’ suggested Changbin.

‘Like who?’

‘Like him,’ Jisung pointed out at Seungmin that was entering the classroom. ‘It's perfect. He doesn't know any of us.’

‘We're not telling him about the bet!’

Jisung turned to Hyunjin with a satisfied smile. ‘Why? Because you like him?’ but Hyunjin didn't answer, just stared at him. ‘And either way, we're not telling him about the bet, We’re just going to ask him to pick a dare.’

‘Sounds good,’ said Changbin.

‘Why do you always side with him?’

‘Please... I'm his best friend,’ said Jisung with a huge smile on his face that Hyunjin wanted to slap away. It was childish how Jisung would bring that up so many times to justify everything and anything. He never missed an opportunity to remind Hyunjin that he was Changbin's best friend and that therefore Hyunjin would always be second to him. It was even more childish how Hyunjin let it get to him, but he couldn't help it.

‘How are you going to ask him either way?’ said Hyunjin as he watched Seungmin sit not far from them, wishing he would've sat next to him. ‘You're going to scare him.’

But Changbin and Jisung had already moved on to another conversation topic while Hyunjin stared at Seungmin. He didn't realize how obvious he was being until Seungmin looked at him and their eyes met. It took a while for Hyunjin to break away from it, feeling how his face was turning red. He wanted to talk to him so badly and yet when he had had the chance to during the first period, he just simply hadn’t been able to let words out his mouth.

Luckily for him, when Changbin wanted something - he got it. It still was surprising how easy it was for him to come up to Seungmin as they changed classrooms for the next period. Hyunjin didn't hear any part of the conversation as he was too far behind but he was hoping Changbin hadn't jumped right into asking him to pick a dare. When they got to the next classroom, Hyunjin couldn't believe his eyes when Changbin sat next to Seungmin where he usually sat next to Jisung, who was as surprised as him about it. But then again, when Changbin wanted something - he got it.

Jisung sat behind Changbin and Seungmin, and Hyunjin felt hesitant to sit next to him. However, he knew that if he didn't then he wouldn't be able to listen to Changbin and Seungmin talk. So he looked at Jisung who had already put out all of his stuff on his desk and without saying a word he waited for a sign to make sure it was okay for him to sit. Jisung looked up at him and rolled his eyes before nodding.

Hyunjin and Jisung didn't share a single word or a single look for what felt like a million years. Hyunjin kept texting Minho and Felix to cope with how uncomfortable the situation was while he tried to listen to Changbin's and Seungmin's conversation. The dare and the bet never came up in the conversation, which was a relief for Hyunjin but it also worried him somehow because he had no clue what Changbin had in mind.

As they walked out of the classroom, Changbin and Seungmin were still talking, about where he was from, how he had ended up in a place like this - that type of basic information that Hyunjin knew he would have to ask Seungmin later pretending he didn’t know already. From what Hyunjin could hear as he followed them out of the classroom, he could tell Seungmin was simply a nice person, he smiled and answered everything, without talking too much or too little. And yet, Hyunjin was so intrigued by him.

He knew Changbin would head to the soccer field next for their practice so he didn't bother to wait for him. However, he suddenly felt someone grabbing his wrist and dragging him back to them. Hyunjin didn't realize what had happened until the four of them - Jisung, Changbin, Seungmin, and him - were standing in a circle as Changbin and Seungmin finished their conversation.

‘You're not getting away from the dare,’ said Jisung as he let go of his wrist.

‘Oh yeah!’ said Changbin, as if he had forgotten about it, but both Jisung and Hyunjin knew perfectly it had been all he could think about in the last hour. ‘This might sound super weird but we kinda need your help.’

Hyunjin wished for the earth to rip open right below his feet just so he could avoid being in this situation. If he thought about it, it was almost funny - there he was, with his roommate, the person he hated the most in the world, and his new crush. But it also felt like sabotage.

‘Basically, we have a bet going on and we need someone to pick the punishment for the loser, like a dare or something.’

Hyunjin expected Seungmin to be weirded out but instead, he smiled slightly, seeming amused.

‘How big the punishment needs to be?’ asked Seungmin.

‘Big,’ answered Jisung. ‘Huge. Like it's a bet that's gonna take the whole year so... It can't be something as small as eating something disgusting or anything along those lines, you know?’

Seungmin nodded slowly. ‘Why are you asking me though?’

‘Because you're not biased.’

‘Fair enough... Can I have time to think about it?’

‘Yeah, of course! Take your time, it isn't for right now,’ answered Changbin with a smile on his face. ‘And also it needs to be fitted for two people-’

‘It's not going to be two people,’ whispered Jisung.

‘-because if Hyunjin wins, Jisung and I have to do the dare.’

Seungmin smiled happily and looked at Hyunjin. ‘So they're going against you?’

Hyunjin felt his entire being shaking but still managed to answer. ‘Yeah, always. It's their thing.’

Jisung rolled his eyes. ‘Stop playing the victim, Hwang.’

‘Ok before you start again with your stupid fighting,’ Changbin grabbed Jisung's arm and started to walk away dragging him, ‘we're gonna go because we have a practice to get to. See you later, Jinnie, and Seungmin, see you tomorrow.’

Changbin walked away quickly dragging Jisung while he screamed something about a broken foot. Hyunjin didn't really care, he just looked smiling at Seungmin who was shyly waving them goodbye. Once they were out of sight, Seungmin finally put his attention on Hyunjin.

‘So how bad is the bet? Do you at least have a chance?’

Hyunjin smiled slightly, feeling butterflies in his stomach. It was so stupid to already feel that way for someone he had known about for less than a day. ‘I-I think so…’

Seungmin smiled. ‘So I can make it really horrible and I'm not _only_ dooming you, right?’

‘Does that change anything?’

Seungmin shrugged his shoulders. ‘I just wanna be fair.’

Hyunjin smiled and nodded. He felt a rush in him telling him to grab the opportunity, to make this moment last forever. ‘Hey... What are you doing right now? Because I can show you around if you want to…’

‘Oh…’ Seungmin said, scratching the back of his head. Bad sign. ‘Sorry, I have to unpack because I got here pretty late yesterday and my roommate told me he would show me around tomorrow after class so you know…’

Hyunjin felt disappointed but he didn't feel upset. It wasn't like he expected much from his invitation. And it somehow felt like he had the whole time in the world. Even though, if he wanted to win his bet, he really didn’t.

‘It's okay... Who's your roommate by the way?’

Hyunjin was good with people, he didn't have many close friends but he got along with pretty much everyone. Knowing who was Seungmin's roommate and going to talk to them could give him some kind of advantage.

‘Yang Jeongin.’

Or not.

Chan wanted to check his messages one last time before he’d put it in the bag back that he would leave in the dressing room. Nothing relevant. A couple of messages in the group chat with Jisung and Changbin, and messages from a girl he was talking to. Nothing serious. Nothing was ever serious.

Ever since he was a kid, Chan had a plan and a goal: everything he had done in his life was to get close to that. Did he miss out on a lot of things? Probably. Of course he wanted a girlfriend but he wanted to achieve his dream more, and having a girlfriend would require time and effort that he couldn't afford. He didn't want to be with someone if he couldn't give them what they deserved. So he didn't get close to any girl ever. If he did, it stayed casual and he always made sure that they were on the same page. Whenever he felt like she was more involved, he would stop it. Whenever he felt like he was catching feelings he shouldn’t, he would stop it. He made sure to put in the table from the very beginning that he didn't want a relationship. And it worked for him. He had gotten good at putting a wall around him whenever he met a girl.

He quickly answered his messages and put his cellphone in his bag back. Jisung and Changbin were already on the field when he got there. They were arguing about how Jisung wanted to sit on the bench as his foot was still hurting and Changbin was mocking him telling him that there was no way his foot was actually broken. They kept going back and forth and all Chan did was listen to them and laugh at their argument which was after all absurd. However, Jisung stopped complaining when Minho got to the field and sat next to all the students that were trying out.

‘Oh so Minho is here and you shut up?’ asked Changbin with a smile on his face. ‘Maybe we need him around more often. He brings out a good side in you.’

‘Shut up,’ whispered Jisung. ‘I don't want to seem weak in front of him.’

Changbin just laughed. Chan thought it was a bit cruel to not tell Jisung that his new crush was indeed Hyunjin's best friend, but Changbin seemed to get a kick out of it so he didn't get in the middle of it. He personally liked Hyunjin a lot and liked Minho and Felix even more. They were good people and he always enjoyed hanging out with them whenever they did. He wouldn’t change Jisung for anything in the world, he loved him with his whole heart, but sometimes he wished he was closer to Hyunjin, Minho, and Felix.

Soon after, the practice started. It was really more trials for newcomers than practice so older players were mostly there to demonstrate the exercises and to get slowly back to the usual rhythm. It made it easier for Jisung as he didn't have to go as hard as they usually did, and even though there was no way he had a broken foot, Chan did believe him when he said he was hurting.

Minho was doing amazingly well, better than anyone else trying out. Maybe it was because he was older than the others, as not many seniors tried out. Still, it seemed so natural to him and it made sense to the point where it was almost weird that he wasn't in the team, to begin with. Every pass he did it with precision, every goal would go in, he was the first in every race, and he did it all as if it was the easiest thing ever. And as he did all of that, Jisung looked at him with complete admiration.

That was until the coach asked Jisung to take his usual position as a defender to test the ones that were trying out. With the pain he was feeling, it was easy to see that something was wrong with Jisung but he tried to keep it together and do the best he could, which wasn't as bad as expected. Until it was Minho's turn to attack and Jisung forgot all about his pain. All he wanted was to show how good he was. Even though he had been aware that Minho was watching him before, to Jisung it wasn't the same as playing against him. At his full potential, without a supposedly broken foot, he was good at this, he was confident about it, and that was attractive. At least those were the thoughts that went through his head.

And so, Minho started his move, dodging perfectly every attack and easily making his way to the goal and the last defenders, including Jisung. It all went pretty quickly - Chan and Changbin didn't even realize what was happening until it was too late. Minho kicked the ball strongly and Jisung stopped it with his harmed foot, forgetting completely the pain as he ran towards it. The impact was pretty strong and it was enough to leave Jisung on the floor in pain. After all, maybe he did have a broken foot.

‘Shit. Are you okay?’ Minho immediately bent over before anyone else could notice that something was wrong.

Jisung tried his best to hold it all in but truth was that his foot was killing him and he was about to cry. He hated himself for not having said something to not be part of the practice, and he hated himself for not going to the nurse’s office this morning when he had woken up still in pain.

The coach got to them quickly as well as Chan and Changbin.

‘What happened!?’ asked the coach.

‘He was injured before, coach,’ answered Chan as he bent over to an almost crying Jisung that was holding his ankle.

‘Why didn't he say anything!?’ now the coach seemed pissed as Changbin helped Jisung get up. Chan looked quickly at Minho but it was enough for him to understand he had something to do with it.

‘Ok, Lee Minho, go with him to the nurse’s office.’

‘I can do it, coach,’ said Changbin who was already holding up Jisung so he wouldn't have to put his foot on the floor.

‘No, I need you for the next couple of exercises. Minho, you can take him, right?’ Minho nodded silently and took Jisung away from Changbin.

Jisung had thought that the first time he would be alone with Minho would be slightly different. He had already planned what witty jokes he could make and how he would flirt with him, how he would ask him out. He had however not planned that the first time they would be alone together he would be on the verge of tears with Minho holding him up, Jisung with his arm around his shoulders, and Minho with one hand on his hip to help him. They didn't say anything the whole way to the nurse’s office, it was just Minho checking if he felt okay or needed to rest. Jisung barely said any word. He had never hated himself so much.

Once they got there, Minho followed the nurse’s instructions and helped Jisung to sit on the bed, and then he sat on one of the chairs that were near the bed. Jisung felt himself turning red as he realized that Minho wasn't planning to go anywhere. Maybe he was being delusional, but that to him meant that Minho cared. Even just a little bit.

However, his thoughts about Minho faded away as the nurse took care of him and touched his foot to know what was wrong. Jisung held in all he could the screams but every time the nurse would so much as approach his foot, it hurt like hell. She finally took a step back and sighed.

‘How long has it been hurting?’

‘Since yesterday.’

‘Do you know how you got injured?’

Jisung took a pause and looked at Minho for a second, then he looked back at the nurse. ‘I tripped over a machine in the gym…’

Minho blinked several times surprised but didn't say anything, while the nurse just nodded and wrote some things in a notebook. ‘Ok so... Good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have a broken foot.’ If he wouldn't have been hurting so badly, he would've run to Chan and Changbin to tell them that he was right and they were wrong, that they should've listened to him and that the joke was on them. However, the joke was still on him as he now could barely walk. ‘For the good news we’ll have to see first with a doctor to be sure but I don't think it's that serious... Either that or you're very resistant to pain because most people when they break their foot can barely walk, much less play soccer.’

There was a judgment in those words, Jisung could tell. ‘I-It was the first practice of the year.’

‘Are your parents from around here so they can meet us at the hospital?’

Jisung shook his head. ‘They're in Malaysia.’

‘Ok, they’ll still get a phone call from the office so they know what is going on.’

Next thing he knew, Jisung had left Minho behind and he was in the car of the nurse headed to town for a doctor appointment. For the first time in his life, he really wished he hadn't been right.

Hyunjin asked himself a hundred times if what he had in mind was a good idea. And it probably wasn't. But he needed to face it sooner or later. He needed to face him.

When he walked Seungmin to his room and Jeongin wasn't there, it had crossed his mind that it was the perfect excuse to just leave it for another day. But as he lay on Minho's bed while Felix was playing video games, it haunted him. Sometimes, he wished he didn't know Jeongin as well as he did so that he could just leave him alone with the excuse that he didn’t know where he was. But he knew. He always knew where Jeongin was - no matter how much Jeongin wanted to escape him.

So he decided to go find him.

Felix asked him if he wanted to go with him but he had to refuse. Yes, Hyunjin and Jeongin had drifted apart but that wasn't a reason to reveal their shared secrets. So, Hyunjin headed on his own to the abandoned cabin they had found together in freshman year.

It was outside the school premises, you had to jump over a wall of stone and the cabin was not far from there. During freshman year, they would spend most of their time in that cabin and even came around to arranging it in the way they could. They cleaned it, brought blankets, and made it a cozy place where they could escape to. But with time, Jeongin was the only one who still needed to escape.

Hyunjin stayed in front of the door for what felt like ages, debating if he should just go in, or knock, or just leave. After a while, he decided to walk away. Maybe they would talk later. Nothing was rushing him. So he turned around and started walking away until he heard the old door opening up and he stood still.

‘You know I can hear you, right?’

Hyunjin turned around and saw Jeongin standing in the door frame. Still black hair, shining black eyes, and that usual lollipop in his mouth... Everything was the same, but he looked a bit older, a bit more mature.

‘I didn't want to bother you.’

‘You're already here, aren't you?’

Jeongin turned around and got back into the cabin. Hyunjin followed him and closed the door behind him. Jeongin sat back on the floor where Hyunjin guessed he had been sitting before he got there. There was a stack of old comic books that Jeongin had probably read a hundred times, one _Spider-Man_ was open on the floor, the one that Jeongin had been reading.

Jeongin looked up at Hyunjin waiting for him to say something or to do something. All Hyunjin seemed to do was stand there and see how much the cabin had changed. It had been so long since he had been there, maybe over a year. He couldn't remember properly.

‘So... What do you want?’

‘We haven't talked in all summer.’

Jeongin just stared at Hyunjin.

‘And what? You _missed_ me?’

‘Could you drop the act?’

‘What act?’

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. ‘The “Jughead” act. You've been watching too much _Riverdale_.’

And a smile crept on Jeongin lips, laughing slightly. ‘Fair enough. But you know that if one of us was Jughead here, it would be me.’

‘That would mean I'm Archie and I won't take this slander.’ Jeongin laughed as Hyunjin sat on the floor in front of Jeongin. ‘Why didn't you answer my messages this summer?’

Jeongin shrugged his shoulders. ‘I don't know... Didn't feel like texting you and getting ignored for days with the excuse you were with other people.’

‘I was with other people but you could've been with us. Changbin loves you.’

‘Maybe too much.’

Hyunjin laughed. ‘Yeah, clearly too much. But Felix and Minho also like you.’

‘You know I never felt like I fitted in your little group,’ said Jeongin.

Hyunjin nodded slowly looking down at the old floor. ‘Yeah, I know... Sorry.’

‘It's not your fault.’

‘It kinda is.’

Jeongin smiled slightly. ‘What do you want anyway?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘C'mon, Hyunjin... We've known each other since I was four years old and you were five. I know when you want something. Plus, in the last three years, the only times you've come to this cabin is to ask me a favor.’

Hyunjin stayed silent for a couple of seconds thinking through if it was a good idea to bring what he had come for this early. It's not that he didn't enjoy Jeongin's company or didn't love him - he did, truly - but he easily took him for granted. They always had been there for each other. They had been best friends ever since Hyunjin could remember; until high school happened and they drifted apart. Hyunjin wanted to make friends. Jeongin wanted to stay as they were, the two of them against the world. Hyunjin wanted to be someone. Jeongin wanted to be invisible to everyone to survive and get the hell out of there. So, with time, their views on life weren't the same and they simply drifted apart. They were still there for each other, Jeongin was still somewhat part of his life, but they just weren't best friends anymore. Hyunjin even wondered if they were still friends.

‘I made a bet with Changbin.’

Jeongin smiled amused. ‘That isn't good news.’

Hyunjin proceeded to explain to him what had happened at the party a week prior, and how Jisung had gotten in the middle of it and introduced the idea of a dare. He told him about how he thought he would lose because there was no one to date. Until he finally got to his point, Seungmin.

‘So let me get this straight... You want me to help you get with Seungmin?’ asked Jeongin as soon as Hyunjin finished his speech.

‘I-I guess…’

‘What makes you think I can help? I know nothing about the guy. He's just my roommate and the fact that he is doesn't mean I'll get close to him,’ said Jeongin as he kept his almost finished lollipop in his mouth. ‘I mean, I've had three roommates and I've never gotten close to any of them.’

‘I'm not telling you to do anything, just... For example, he told me that you would show him around tomorrow, you could leave that to me instead, you know? Just that type of stuff,’ answered Hyunjin. ‘You don't have to get close to anyone, Innie, I would never ask you that.’

‘And what makes you think I _want_ to help you?’

Hyunjin looked at Jeongin and shrugged his shoulders. The truth was that he liked to think it was time and different views on life that made them drift apart - it was way easier than facing the fact that he was the only one to blame.

‘I don’t know…’

Jeongin stayed silent for a couple of seconds until he eventually sighed. ‘I mean... I would do anything to see Changbin and Jisung get humiliated.’


	4. Chapter 4

The mouse's clicking sounds, the low swearing, and the laptop's light were filling up the room at two in the morning. Minho had gotten used to it and most nights he slept through all the noise. But tonight he couldn't stop tossing and turning in his bed. It wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be the last, and it wasn't Felix's fault either. It was just the way Minho's brain worked sometimes.

He thought about soccer practice. He was pretty sure he had gotten into the team, so he was happy about that. What he wasn't happy about was the fact that he was pretty sure a guy had basically broken his foot for him, and for no reason. He didn't even know his name and yet the way he looked at him was something he had never seen before. At least no one had ever looked at _him_ that way.

After a while, Minho eventually understood that there was no way he would be able to sleep with so much noise and without total darkness. So he took his phone and started typing, while Felix was too emerged in his game to notice.

 **MINHO**  
 _hey  
_ _you awake??_

 **HYUNJIN  
** _yup  
?cant sleep_

 **MINHO  
** _nop  
_ _thinking too much i guess  
_ _and felix is playing video games so that ain't helping_

 **HYUNJIN  
** _come over  
_ _haven't seen you in all day  
_ _lowkey miss you_

 **MINHO  
** _omw  
_ _miss you too ig_

Minho didn't wait for Hyunjin to answer, even though he saw on the screen he was typing, he locked the screen, put a random t-shirt on, took some of the stuff he knew he would need in the morning and left the room. He wasn't sure if Felix had noticed but it didn't really matter. Felix was used to it by now - Minho sneaking out of his room to go to Hyunjin's was almost routine at this point. Whenever he couldn't sleep, whenever they needed to talk about the most insignificant thing, whenever Hyunjin needed him or he needed Hyunjin, he would go there. Hyunjin also spent some of his nights in Minho's and Felix's room, but when he did it was because he didn’t see the time passing and eventually decided to stay instead of going back to his room in the middle of the night. Hyunjin almost never sneaked out of his room at two in the morning like Minho did.

It was strictly prohibited to spend the night in someone else's room and even more to go out of your room after 11 pm - that was their curfew. One or two times Minho had been caught, when they did room inspections in the morning, but over time he had learned how to avoid the guards - he knew their never-changing shifts, he knew which guards slept through their shift, which ones were harder to avoid. So even if he got caught in Hyunjin's room, he had never been caught walking down the halls in the middle of the night. And when they asked him what he was doing there, he would say he had fallen asleep by mistake or some other lame excuse.

After all, it wasn't like they caught him in one of the girl's rooms on the lower floors of the building, which they were way more strict about. Heteronormativity was a disease that poisoned society but sometimes it played in his favor and he had no shame in taking advantage of it.

It didn't take long to get to Hyunjin's room even though their rooms were on different floors. He knocked three times on the door and Hyunjin came out of it quickly, wearing his usual plain white shirt and sport shorts. He then let Minho in the room after whispering "hey" to each other.

‘Changbin's asleep?’ asked Minho as he entered the room, but it was quickly answered as he saw Changbin tightly wrapped in his sheets and drooling on his pillow. Minho smiled amused at the sight of that, it never stopped being funny.

Hyunjin got into bed as Minho put his stuff on the chair by the desk on Hyunjin's side. He took his t-shirt off as he hated to sleep with a t-shirt on, even in winter, but Hyunjin didn't mind.

‘How was soccer?’

Minho turned to Hyunjin and before he answered he got into the twin size bed with Hyunjin. They both lied on their sides so they could look at each other and fit in the bed. Minho could tell how sleepy Hyunjin was by his puffy face and small eyes but he was managing to fight sleep.

‘It was okay... I think I got in. I’ll know in the next couple of days.’

Through the little light that peaked through the curtains, Minho could see a small smile forming on Hyunjin's lips.

‘Of course you did. You're great at soccer.’

‘No, I'm _good_. I'm great when I play against you and you _suck_.’

‘No, I don't!’

Minho just laughed at Hyunjin pretending to be offended.

‘I missed you…,’ whispered Minho.

‘Really? Because from your text, it seemed like you weren't so sure,’ said Hyunjin jokingly. 

Minho just rolled his eyes. Minho and Hyunjin didn't come from the same city, and even though they tried, they never got to see each other during the summer. Minho was mostly busy catching up with his friends from his childhood, and Hyunjin always went to some expensive place with his family. If they ever did manage to see each other, it wasn't for longer than a couple of days. They texted about their every single move and would call each other as much as they could, not because they felt some kind of obligation, it just came naturally to them. If Hyunjin was alone in his house, he would call Minho. If Minho couldn't sleep, he would call Hyunjin. If they were bored, they would call each other. And sometimes Felix was part of it. Even so, it wasn't the same as being with each other.

‘Whatever. What did you do today?’ said Minho.

‘Not much... I mean I already told you about everything - how Han made the whole bet worse, and the new guy-’

‘Seungmin, right?’ asked Minho even though he knew his name perfectly by now, after the number of times Hyunjin had mentioned him in his texts.

‘Yeah, Seungmin. He's so nice. I walked him to his room and we kind of talked and... I don't know, it was so easy to talk to him. And I literally cannot explain to you how nice he is. And we got along so well…,’ by now Hyunjin's eyes were almost shining from excitement. ‘It isn’t just about the bet, you know? I think I really like him.’ Minho slightly opened his mouth but Hyunjin quickly covered it with his hand. ‘Before you say anything - I know I'm getting ahead of myself and that I've barely known him for less than a day... I know that, believe me. I'm not about to make the same mistakes as before, I'll take this slow. But I swear, Min, when you'll meet him you'll understand what I'm saying.’

Hyunjin moved his hand away from Minho's mouth who just nodded slowly. ‘Ok, if you say so.’

‘Trust me, Lee.’

Minho smiled amused. ‘C'mon, Hwang, you know I don't trust anyone but if I ever was to trust someone... It would be you.’

‘And I'm very proud of that _almost_ achievement.’

‘You should be.’ Hyunjin smiled happily. ‘And by the way, ignore that asshole of Han even if he did make the bet more interesting, don't let him get into your head.’

‘I'm trying. _Believe me_.’

They stayed quiet for a while and slowly changed positions. After a couple of minutes, Minho was staring at the ceiling with his hands under his head, and Hyunjin had his head on his chest curling up to him.

‘I also saw Jeongin today...’

‘Really?’ Minho felt as Hyunjin nodded so he lowered his right hand to caress his black hair slowly, to comfort him. ‘Are you okay?’

Hyunjin sighed. ‘Yeah... It was okay.’ He then looked up at Minho as his best friend kept his hand on his hair. ‘He's Seungmin's roommate and he's gonna help me out.’

‘Well... That's cool. It's a chance to reconnect.’

‘That's what I thought of too but I don't know... I don't think I'll ever be able to fix things between us and be like before.’

‘You don't have to be like before, Jinnie,’ whispered Minho. ‘Friendships and relationships evolve, you know? And that's okay.’

Hyunjin stayed silent for a moment as Minho kept stroking his hair softly. ‘I guess…’ After staying quiet for a while more, Hyunjin softly got up from Minho's chest to be able to look at him directly in the eyes. ‘Promise me we'll never change... I mean you and me, together.’

Minho knew perfectly he couldn't promise him that. He didn't know what would happen in the future. And he didn't want things to stay this way either, but he would never be able to say that aloud. So instead of breaking Hyunjin's heart, he gave into irrationality: ‘I promise.’

Hyunjin smiled like a little kid which made Minho feel like it was all worth it. He then lay down once again on the bed, but this time he cuddled up with Minho, who also put his arm around his shoulders.

‘You want to listen to something funny?’

‘Always.’

‘I think a guy broke his foot for me.’

Minho felt Hyunjin laughing against his naked chest, trying not to make too much sound to not wake up Changbin. After Hyunjin asked him if it was a joke, Minho just said he didn't really understand himself but that he would update him on the situation. Hyunjin laughed a bit more about it and without noticing it they both fell asleep.

Jeongin was used to it by now. The whole avoiding social obligations had come to be kind of his specialty. Not that he had intended it to be but it was a skill he had developed the more Hyunjin wanted to go hang out with other people and Jeongin didn't want to.

So yeah. Jeongin knew exactly what he needed to say to Seungmin so that he wouldn't be offended about him canceling on him nor feel guilty about being shown around by someone else. 

Truth was that he didn't really want to do it in the first place. Jeongin had always been better on his own, or at least it was better to always be alone than to get comfortable to someone's presence just for them to leave him behind after a while. He rathered not to get close to anyone in the first place. So even if technically he was the one helping Hyunjin out, Hyunjin was also making him a favor.

He opened the door to his room expecting to find Seungmin there, but he wasn't. What Jeongin did find however was a room perfectly organized. He hadn't come back the day before as the weather was still nice enough for him to sleep in the cabin, so this was the first time he saw Seungmin's stuff out of his suitcase. Jeongin almost felt bad looking at his side of the room, and Jeongin wasn't unorganized so it said a lot about Seungmin.

He sat on his bed for a couple of minutes, waiting for Seungmin and going through the words he was going to say to him. He didn't want to hurt Seungmin's feelings, but he didn't want to pretend like they were going to be best friends either.

Seungmin got to the room after a while and smiled when he saw him sitting on the bed waiting for him.

‘Hey! Sorry, I had to talk to the teacher about something in the syllabus,’ said Seungmin as he hung his backpack on his chair.

‘It's all good,’ said Jeongin so softly it was barely hearable.

‘I almost thought you wouldn't be here... Because yesterday you didn't sleep here, right?’ asked Seungmin, finally sitting on his bed and facing Jeongin.

‘Hm... No, I didn't. I slept in a friend's room,’ said Jeongin quickly, it being the first excuse that he went through his mind. 

‘I-Is there a problem with me? Because you can tell me, I'm pretty adaptable. If you need space for something or I don't know… Just… You can tell me and I’ll get out of your way.’

Jeongin could tell how nervous Seungmin was which made him smile slightly. ‘Not at all, I just hadn't seen him all summer so... I just wanted to talk to him, you know?’

Seungmin nodded with a smile on his face. ‘Yeah, that makes sense. It isn't allowed though, right?’

‘Not really... No,’ said Jeongin regretting giving that explanation, but sleeping in another room was still better than explaining how he would get out of the school premises every time he could and went to an abandoned cabin.

‘I still need to get familiarized with the rules, that's why I'm asking. I'm not gonna rat you out, don't worry.’ Jeongin smiled slightly at him as Seungmin got up from the bed. ‘So should we get going?’

‘Actually…,’ Jeongin saw how the smile on Seungmin's face was replaced with a look of concern. ‘I was thinking maybe it's better if a friend of mine shows you around because I need to take care of another friend that broke his foot yesterday.’

Was he using Jisung's stupid accident as an excuse? Yes. Did he feel bad about it? Not really.

‘And the thing is that his roommate is busy right now selling tickets for the Homecoming dance on Friday so... There's no way I can get out of it. I'm probably gonna be done in a couple of hours so... I feel like it's better if you just don't wait for me. Hyunjin is probably gonna give you a much better tour of the place than me, either way.’

‘I can wait for you.’

‘What?’

‘Well, yeah... I said I would let you show me around so it's only fair I wait for you to be available to do it.’

Jeongin looked at Seungmin in total confusion. Someone waiting for him? When they could do a boring activity with Hyunjin instead? That made no sense whatsoever. All his life, people had chosen Hyunjin over him - because he was handsome and nicer, and everything everyone looked in a friend or a significant other. Never had anyone refused to hang out with Hyunjin to be with Jeongin. Well, except Jisung of course.

‘A-Are you sure?’

‘Of course. I can get started with my homework and then we can meet whenever you're free. And worst-case scenario we can do it tomorrow, it’s not that big of a deal.’

‘O-Ok... Thank you for understanding.’

Seungmin just smiled at him and as he had stated, he started to take books out of his backpack to do homework. Jeongin left the room not long after and immediately texted Hyunjin:

 _Change of plans_.

With Hyunjin spending his time after class Seungmin, Felix and Minho decided to go to the library to do the little amount of homework that they had already been given. Minho knew that the year would be hectic work-wise and he wouldn't have much time to spare, even more with the soccer team - if he did get in. He wanted to do as much as he could as fast as he could so that everything wouldn't pile up and he could actually enjoy his senior year.

He finished the homework faster than Felix who told him that he was okay with him going back to the room without him. So Minho exited the library, not because waiting for Felix was a bother, but because not being able to use his cell phone in the library was. That was another one of the stupid rules, but it made sense and it was one of the only rules Minho was _kind of_ grateful for because it meant that when he went to the library he couldn't get distracted by texts or anything like that. However, once he turned his cell phone back on and saw Hyunjin's messages appearing on screen, he regretted ever turning it off in the first place.

 **HYUNJIN  
** _Ok so I know you're in the library rn and won't read this until later but everything went to shit  
_ _I think Seungmin is basically an angel at this point  
_ _Jeongin told him he couldn't show him around and told him that it was better if I did it instead bc he was going to be busy in the next hour or two  
_ _Point being Seungmin told him that he would wait for him or wtv because_ **_he's the best person to ever walk this earth  
_ ** _so yeah plan went to shit  
_ _i think we're gonna run into each other "accidentally" and Jeongin is gonna leave or sth  
_ _but yeah  
_ _Anyway text me when you're out  
_ _I'm probs gonna go to the pool so we can meet there?? And then go eat  
_ _Or idk wtv you tell me  
_ _Ok i'm spamming don't hate me  
_ _ily  
_ _see u later_

 **MINHO  
** _..........The way this whole thing could've been 5 texts shorter  
_ _I'm outside the library and was planning to go to my room  
_ _PS: I think that what Seungmin did is common courtesy???? Doesn't make him an angel  
_ _Sorry to burst your bubble  
_ _But yeah just go to my room once you're done wooing the poor new guy_

 **HYUNJIN  
** _omw to the library  
_ _i'm meeting jeongin there as well  
_ _well.... more like"running into" jeongin  
_ _i "woo" the very fortunate new guy and you meet him  
_ _we kill two birds with one stone_

How could he tell Hyunjin he really didn't care about Seungmin? Minho knew Hyunjin too well and even with the bet going on, Hyunjin would have a crush on him for a while then they would probably get together - because it's Hyunjin and who wouldn't want to be him - and then after a few weeks, it would be over. Hyunjin would be crying in his room or swearing just like every single time.

‘What are you so pissed at?’

Minho looked up from his phone screen and stopped walking as he saw Chan and Changbin sitting behind a desk that they had turned into a stand to sell tickets for the Homecoming dance.

‘What?’ asked Minho, confused.

‘You seemed super pissed off…,’ answered Chan. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah, yeah, just…-’

‘Hyunjin?’ asked Changbin with a smile on his face, Minho just nodded, amused. ‘What did he do this time?’

Minho shrugged his shoulders. ‘Nothing really, just getting obsessed with yet another guy. And I'm blaming _you_ , just so you know.’

Changbin laughed slightly. ‘Yeah, to be honest, I blame myself for that one as well.’

‘Why?’ asked Chan, totally confused.

‘Long story... I'll tell you later,’ answered Changbin, taking his phone out of his pocket to check his notifications. Chan didn't insist much more, he got along with Hyunjin but they weren't close and he knew he had no business knowing everything that went on in his life.

‘By the way, I've been meaning to ask you... How's your friend?’

That question had been on Minho's head the entire day. He hadn’t worked up the guts to ask Chan until now because he knew he had no business caring about someone he didn't even know the name of. At first, Chan seemed confused but then realized what Minho was talking about, so he smiled at him warmly like he usually did.

‘He's okay…,’ said Chan. ‘He's resting now and he will have a cast on for a couple of weeks, but overall he's okay.’

‘So he won't play soccer?’

‘No,’ answered Changbin. ‘Which sucks because we really needed him for our first game. At least we have you.’

‘Wait what?’ said Minho just as Felix got out of the library and walked towards them. ‘I got in?’

‘Well, the official list is coming out tomorrow but yeah, you're in,’ said Chan happily.

When Felix got to them he simply waved with a warm smile and stood next to Minho.

‘Really, Felix, your love for me is dying so hard lately, you're hurting my feelings,’ said Changbin as he put his hands over his heart. ‘You haven't seen me all day and you don't even say “hello” to me.’

Felix just laughed and went towards him to hug him apologizing but Changbin kept pushing him away pretending he was actually offended. Minho just looked at them while Chan was ignoring the whole situation as he counted the money from the tickets. When Changbin eventually stopped resisting Felix's hug, Felix sat on his lap and Changbin put his arms around his friend's waist. It wasn't something Minho and Chan, and everyone around them hadn't gotten used to.

Minho and Felix had met Changbin at the same time through the same person, Hyunjin. However, Felix had become way closer to Changbin than Minho ever did. Maybe because Minho and Hyunjin were so close, and Felix had found comfort in Changbin. And it was probably that way that Felix developed a crush for Changbin for the first two years that they knew each other. Until it started to die out and somehow Felix stopped feeling anything but friendship towards Changbin - he still loved him very much but it wasn't like before. 

Minho never really understood how his crush died out so quickly, in just one summer, but that's what Felix had told him and he believed him. After all, feelings come and go in the blink of an eye and no one has real control over them. But Minho had always thought that they would actually be perfect together. He still was disappointed that it had never amounted to anything but at least they were still very good friends which was nice to see.

‘What are you doing here anyway?’ asked Felix as he looked at the things put out on the table in front of him.

‘We're selling tickets for the Homecoming dance,’ said Chan. ‘The money goes to the soccer team for new uniforms and everything we need for the tournament.’

‘And of course, Chan said we would help,’ said Changbin, rolling his eyes.

‘Listen, being involved in the school life and activities is something that colleges look for in your resume,’ said Chan, like he hadn't explained it to Changbin a hundred times already to justify all the times he had dragged him to do these types of stuff with him. ‘It's something small you can do that gives you a _big_ reward.’

Changbin just gave out a sigh and looked up at Minho. ‘So, wanna buy some tickets?’

‘I'll buy two.’

Minho turned around to see Hyunjin, smiling. Chan started to take the tickets to give them to Hyunjin while Changbin just raised an eyebrow, curious. ‘Why two?’

‘I'm asking Seungmin to the dance.’

‘Who's Seungmin?’ whispered Chan to Felix while Changbin and Hyunjin talked.

‘A new guy and his new crush.’

Chan nodded and went back to counting the money Hyunjin handed to him.

‘You don't even know if the poor guy is into guys, Hyunjin,’ said Changbin.

Hyunjin shrugged his shoulders. ‘I have to find out some way, don’t I?’

That's when Minho saw Jeongin walking into the hallway next to someone he had never seen in his life, who he guessed was Seungmin. It didn't take long for Minho to understand what Hyunjin had meant when he talked about him. It was in the way he smiled, in the light in his eyes, the way he greeted everyone and introduced himself to the ones he didn't know. He talked happily and peacefully. He was almost too good to be true and Minho had never trusted people like that. He liked flawed people, at least there were fewer chances they were pretending to be someone else.

Minho didn't even care to pay attention to how Changbin ran towards Jeongin to try to hug him and he was pushed away, or to listen to Seungmin's conversation with Felix and Chan. All Minho really cared about was Seungmin's attitude and the way Hyunjin looked at him. Seungmin was too perfect. Of course, perfect people didn't exist, but Seungmin was a different kind of perfect - the kind Minho hated the most. He was perfect for Hyunjin and Minho would be a fool to even try to deny that.

After a couple of minutes, Seungmin and Jeongin decided it was time to keep going with the tour and Hyunjin added himself to the mix smoothly. So then the three of them were gone and Changbin didn't seem happy about it as he stood next to Minho.

‘You're losing, Bin,’ said Felix with a big smile on his face.

‘Shut up.’

 **HYUNJIN  
** _hey so see you later for dinner right??  
_ _what did you think of seungmin btw?  
_ _isn't he like the nicest most pure person to ever exist?  
_ _ok lol you'll never confirm that but ahjsd  
_ _i'm gonna ask him as soon as we're alone if he wants to go with him  
_ _send good vibes plss_

‘Minho?’

Minho looked up from his phone to see Chan, Felix, and Changbin looking at him.

‘Sorry I wasn't listening.’

‘Do you want to buy a ticket for the dance?’ asked again Chan. ‘I have to go back to my room so I'm closing the stand.’

Did he really want to go to a boring dance where his best friend would be having a date and his other best friend would be all night with Changbin? Not really. Would those same best friends drag him there either way? Yes. So instead of fighting it, Minho nodded and took the money out of his wallet.

‘One or two?’ asked Changbin suddenly.

Minho frowned. ‘Why would I want two? Felix bought his ticket already, right?’

Changbin shrugged his shoulders. ‘I don't know... Maybe you want to go with someone, as... a date.’

Minho just slightly laughed. ‘Who you want me to have a date with?’

Changbin was about to talk but Chan quickly cut him off. ‘No one. He's just being annoying. Right, Changbin?’

‘Why do you never wanna have fun?’

‘Changbin.’

Changbin growled and rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, I was just messing around.’

But somehow it seemed way deeper than that. Minho didn't think too long about it as he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

 **HYUNJIN  
** MINHO  
 _MINHOOO  
_ HE SAID YES


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if anyone actually keeps up with this but it's been a while I'm sorry I went through a whole writer's block thing and also I wanted this chapter to have another part but it was already pretty long and I haven't updated in a while so yup  
> Anyway enjoy ig and thank you for reading

Growing up, Jisung had never broken any bone in his entire body - which was surprising if he came to think of it. As a kid, he had done some pretty stupid stuff, and after he met Changbin and Chan in middle school, it didn't get any better. Yet, Jisung had always managed to come out safely from every situation he had put himself into. No broken bone. No sprain. Nothing. Ever.

Then enter Lee Minho and a workout machine. The result - a broken foot.

To be fair, the machine wasn't what had broken it, he just hurt himself, and if he would've told someone, if he would've rested, he would've never broken his foot. But he didn't do any of those things. He did everything wrong and now he had a cast on and he was doomed to stay in on a Friday night. He had been given the whole week off which meant no class, which Jisung really enjoyed, but it also meant no activities: no soccer, no homecoming dance.

Jisung had never been big on school dances. They were boring to him. The only time he had fun was whenever he would make out with an older guy in the bathroom stalls. Apart from those times, dances usually meant Chan either hanging out with some girl or being in charge of everything, and Changbin hanging out with Felix. So Jisung would always spend the night alone. Jisung had begged so many times Jeongin to go to a dance with him to keep him company but he had been rejected every single time. It wasn’t because Jeongin hated him - even though that was fairly debatable- but because Jeongin hated dances even more than Jisung did and he would usually disappear every time there was one.

But this dance was different because from the moment Jisung saw Minho he thought about it. He thought about what he would wear, how he would look, and how he would catch Minho's attention. And now, not only he couldn't go to the dance, but also Minho probably knew him as the “broken foot guy”.

Yes. Jisung had lost whatever kind of chance he had. He was sure of it.

But he decided to look at the situation from the bright side: he had an excuse to spend time with Jeongin, and he couldn't say no to someone with a cast on could he?

He knocked on his door multiple times and called out his name, feeling how his only standing leg was starting to hurt. There was no way Jeongin wasn't in his room, classes had just ended and wherever he always disappeared to, he would always leave his backpack in his room. Jisung was getting ready to shout out his name once again but the door suddenly opened only for him not to find who he had expected in front of him.

‘I'm sorry, I had my earphones on and didn't hear you.’

Jisung blinked a couple of times looking at Seungmin in front of him in utter confusion. 

‘W-What...? What are you doing here?’ Jisung asked, stuttering his words.

‘I'm Jeongin's roommate,’ answered Seungmin with a warm smile. ‘He's not here yet but come in.’

Seungmin opened the door totally for Jisung to get into the room. Jisung finally sat on Jeongin's bed feeling a big relief on his only fully-functional leg.

‘Jeongin didn't tell me his friend with a broken foot was you,’ Seungmin laughed slightly. ‘What happened to you? I mean I noticed you were limping on Monday but... I haven't seen you since then,’ he asked as he sat on his bed, facing Jisung.

Jisung put his crutches on the side of the bed. ‘It's a stupid story... I tripped on a workout machine and then played soccer and hit the ball very hard so... My foot broke.’ Seungmin winced looking at Jisung. ‘You can say it... It was stupid.’

Seungmin smiled slightly holding back a shy laugh. ‘Well... Let's say there are cooler ways to break a bone than... tripping. But why did you play soccer if you already were hurting?’

Jisung sighed, ‘Long story and an embarrassing one at that, so I’d rather just not tell.’

Seungmin nodded, ‘So... How do you know Jeongin anyway? I know he's friends with Changbin but it's kind of confusing to me what kind of relationship those two have and…’

‘-and Jeongin doesn't speak much?’ interrupted Jisung, amused by Seungmin's curiosity which was to be expected. Seungmin nodded and Jisung laughed slightly. ‘Yeah, I know what's that like.’

From the moment Jisung had met Jeongin, he knew there was something special about him. Everyone around him could see it. Everyone but Jeongin. What made him so special wasn't the fact that he was silent and had a kind of mysterious vibe. There was something more, something that made everyone that knew him adore him. And it was surprising how he could make everyone feel at home, and yet he was one of the coldest people Jisung had ever met. But there was something about him, that no matter how many times Jeongin tried to push him away, Jisung knew he needed to hold on.

‘Basically, Jeongin and Hwang... Hyunjin, sorry... They're childhood best friends. They grew up in the same neighborhood and their families were friends with each other to the point they made Jeongin go to school earlier so he could be in the same grade as Hw-Hyunjin.’

‘I-I didn't know that... They don't seem to be that close.’

‘They are but... It's weird. They used to be very close but then they just drifted apart because Hyunjin started making other friends. Anyway, Hyunjin and Changbin have been roommates since freshman year, and they have been friends almost since day one so that's how me, Changbin, and Chan, a friend of ours…’

‘Yeah, I met him on Tuesday. He was selling tickets for the dance today... I believe that was him.’

Jisung nodded energetically. ‘That's him, for sure. So yeah, that's how we met Jeongin and he's our friend but he spends most of his time alone, to be honest.’

‘And what's up with him and Changbin? Because Changbin seemed to... Really like him... I don't know if…’ Seungmin seemed hesitant with his words which amused Jisung because he knew exactly where he was going with it.

‘Don't worry. Changbin is into guys,’ said Jisung. ‘Not sure about his sexuality because he has never said anything explicitly about it but he isn't straight, and it ain't a secret. The only straight one is Chan but I have doubts about that.’ Seungmin smiled amused. ‘And if Changbin likes Jeongin... Again, Changbin has never said anything about it explicitly but Chan and I think he might like him but we also have the theory that he might like Hyunjin as well, so you know. Changbin just doesn't talk much about that kind of stuff.’

Seungmin asked Jisung a couple more questions about everyone he had met and the school. Jisung was happy to answer every question - Seungmin was surprisingly easy to talk to and he hadn't seen anyone ever since that morning when Chan left, so Jisung felt like he found relief in their conversation. That was until Jeongin came into the room and was surprised by Jisung's presence there.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘Well, hello to you too, Yang,’ said Jisung, smiling. ‘I can't go to the dance so I thought we could hang out. You never go to dances anyway.’

Jeongin sighed and entered his room. He let his backpack on the floor and started to search for something in his closet. ‘I'm actually going this time.’

‘What? Why? You never go to dances!’

‘Chan asked me to fill in for the photographer.’

‘I'm gonna rip his head off.’

Seungmin smiled slightly and got up from the bed. ‘I didn't know you took pictures, Jeongin.’

Jeongin looked at Seungmin and shrugged his shoulders. ‘I don't really take pictures, to be honest. I just have a camera, but it isn't a _thing_.’

‘Still... It's cool,’ Seungmin smiled at him warmly but Jeongin just turned away and took out of his closet a suit his parents had bought him.

‘Wait, so I'm gonna have to spend a Friday night alone?’ asked Jisung.

‘It's your fault for breaking your foot, Han,’ said Jeongin before he entered the bathroom to change his clothes, leaving Jisung and Seungmin alone once again.

Jisung sighed and looked at Seungmin who was also taking out the clothes from his closet. ‘Don’t you want to stay with me?’ Seungmin turned to him and Jisung could see the nervousness in him. Maybe it was too soon in their almost-friendship to put him on the spot like that, so Jisung smiled at him. ‘It's a joke, don't worry.’

‘It's not that I don't want to! I just... Kinda... Have a date.’ Jisung frowned at him, confused. ‘Hyunjin asked me to the dance.’

Jisung stared at Seungmin trying to process what he had just heard. It wasn't that he was bothered by the fact that Hyunjin asked Seungmin out and he accepted. The problem was that Jisung feared he would lose the bet, and he didn't understand how being gone only four days, he had missed out on that massive development.

He hated this kind of situation more than anything. Of course, it was natural for everyone to keep going with their life, but he hated how important things happened when he wasn't there. It made him feel like he wasn't necessary to anything or anyone. But Jisung tried his best to keep his anxiety to himself without letting it be shown to others.

‘W-Why?’

‘Why not?’

‘Because he's an idiot.’

‘Isn’t he your friend?’

Jisung laughed slightly and shook his head. ‘Hwang and I are _not_ friends. We have friends in common but believe me, we are not even close to being friends.’

‘Okay…,’ said Seungmin. ‘I didn't know. I’m sorry.’

‘It's okay. I just assumed you knew because everyone does.’

Seungmin nodded slightly. ‘Well, then I guess it makes the punishment for the bet even better.’

‘You already picked?’ Jisung looked up at Seungmin as Jeongin came out of the bathroom. 

‘To be honest, you asked the worst person possible and I don't know you, which you saw as something good but I really don't think it is... I think you'll be better at torturing each other than me. So, the loser will have to do whatever the winner tells him to for 24 hours.’

‘So you’re telling me I’ll be able to torture Hwang for 24 hours?' said Jisung with the biggest smile on his face. 'Sounds great to me.’

And somehow he forgot all about the fact that he would spend his Friday night alone in his room.

The dance was boring Minho to death. He was at one of the tables with Felix and Changbin who were too busy talking about something on Changbin's phone to pay attention to anything or anyone else. Chan was at the entry of the dance, making sure everyone had the ticket to go in and Jeongin was busy walking from one side of the room to the other, taking pictures. The one good thing about the dance was that Changbin would always bring Minho some alcohol in a flask that was enough to make the situation bearable.

Usually, that amount of alcohol would've gone a long way for Minho; and usually, if Hyunjin was on a date, they would still text. But this dance was different. Hyunjin didn't answer any of his texts, he didn't even look once at this phone after he saw Seungmin in front of the hall where they held the dances. Hyunjin really liked Seungmin, Minho could tell. He was different from all the other guys and the more Minho knew about him, the more he realized he couldn't ask for someone better for his best friend. And that was the problem.

There wasn't enough alcohol in the flask to make turn bearable a dance where he had to sit and watch his best friend dance, laugh, and flirt with another guy. There wasn't enough alcohol in the world to make him bear the sight of his best friend falling in love with someone else.

Minho got up from the table, not even bothering to tell Felix or Changbin where he was going because they were too busy in their own bubble anyway. He headed to the bar where there was an alcohol-free punch as well as some snacks. He served himself a glass of punch and turned his back to the bar to watch everyone dance and have fun.

‘Are you okay?’

Minho turned his head towards the voice and found Jeongin in front of him, with a camera hanging from his neck. ‘Yeah, why wouldn't I be?’

‘I mean... You know why.’

Minho shrugged his shoulders. ‘Yeah, I'm okay.’

‘Sober?’

‘It's a dance, Innie. I'm never sober at dances.’

Jeongin smiled, amused, but then that smile disappeared quickly as he looked down and sighed. ‘You know... He asked for my help.’

‘I know, he told me about it.’ Minho smiled, trying to prevent Jeongin from blaming himself for anything.

‘I can sabotage it if you want,’ said Jeongin. ‘I'm really sorry.’

‘It's okay,’ Minho sighed and looked at Hyunjin and Seungmin talking on the other side of the room. ‘I don't even think you will have to help him much more. It is what it is. You can't control feelings and all of that.’

‘I guess…’

Minho looked away from his best friend and smiled at Jeongin sincerely. Jeongin was looking at him with pity in his eyes which disappeared as Minho messed with Jeongin's hair slightly. Minho laughed at the change of expression on Jeongin's face and took his hand away from him.

Minho and Jeongin, they had a weird friendship. They didn't talk much. They barely spend time together. They never texted. But somehow they were always there for each other. When Minho was the most in need of someone, Jeongin had been there and he had seen right through him. If there was _anyone_ that could call out Minho on his bullshit, it was Jeongin.

‘I think I'm just gonna go back to my room…,’ said Minho after a moment of silence where Jeongin was taking pictures of the room.

‘You sure?’ asked Jeongin as he looked up from his camera.

Minho nodded slowly. ‘Yeah... I mean there's nothing to do here. I might as well just go to my room.’

‘I get it. I wish I could leave but I promised Chan I would take care of this.’ 

‘It's cool you're getting more involved in the _school activities_.’

Jeongin rolled his eyes which made Minho laugh. ‘Let's not take it that far. I'm just doing Chan a favor.’

‘Well, I'm gonna head out and live my best life, in your honor.’

Jeongin smiled amused and it didn't take long for Minho to walk away from him. Before he left the room, Minho turned around one last time to look at Hyunjin. His best friend was laughing at something Seungmin had said, he was throwing his head back and covering his mouth with his hand. He seemed happy. His eyes were shining. So Minho took one last sip of his flask still almost full and headed out.

Right next to the door, Chan was seated in front of a table he used as a stand. ‘Leaving already?’

Minho turned to him and nodded. ‘Yeah... You know I'm not really into dances.’

Chan smiled amused. ‘I know, don't worry, I won't be offended if you don’t like the dance I organized. All Jisung does is shit on them, either way." 

Minho frowned. ‘Jisung?’

‘My friend from the soccer team? The one who broke his foot?’

‘Oh! Okay! Sorry, I never caught his name. How is he, by the way?’

‘He's okay, or he will be anyway.’ Minho nodded. ‘I'm sorry you have such a weird vision of him, he can get awkward sometimes... But he's very nice.’

Minho smiled. ‘It's okay... It's a bit funny... I just... Had the impression that maybe... I don't know…,’ Minho made a pause as Chan stared at him and he sighed. ‘I don't want to sound pretentious or something.’

Chan laughed slightly. ‘You think he might have a crush on you?’ Minho smiled shyly and looked down. ‘Yeah, you're right.’

Minho looked up at Chan and then stayed silent thinking. ‘Why though?’

Chan shrugged his shoulders. ‘He thinks you're cute... Please don't tell him you know - he's already so embarrassed about it all. I don't think he ever wants to show his face in front of you again. But I think it explains a lot, I guess.’

‘It does... But he shouldn't be embarrassed…’

‘That's what I said but you know... Jisung can be a little insecure and very stubborn.’

Minho smiled slightly. ‘Maybe I should talk to him…’

And Minho didn't know if it was because of the alcohol or something else, but next thing he knew he was walking to the dorms with one idea in mind - talking to Jisung. And maybe he wanted more than that. Jisung had his charm, so why not? Why couldn't he be the one to go to school dances with someone? He knew he could like Jisung - there was something about him, something special, and he wanted to get to know him. Okay, maybe going to his room half-drunk wasn't the best place to start nor the best idea Minho had ever had, but Minho needed it. He needed his existence to matter to someone for once.

He stood in front of Chan's room for about five minutes, debating if he should knock or not, wondering if Jisung would be awake or not. Once he eventually knocked on the door, Minho heard growling from inside the room which made him laugh slightly. From the noise coming from inside the door, Jisung seemed to be struggling to get up. Once the door started to open all Minho heard was ‘Changbin, I swear to g-’ but then Jisung choked on his own words as he saw Minho in front of him. ‘Oh... H-Hi…’ Minho raised his hand to reciprocate the greeting with a smile. ‘W-What are you...? Chan is at the dance.’

‘I know... I just left. I actually wanted to talk to you.’

Jisung's eyes opened wide with those words. ‘W-Why?’

Minho smiled amused. ‘I just wanted to see how you were doing... I didn't get many news from you and I was wondering how you were.’

Jisung blinked a couple of times as if he didn't believe what he was hearing. ‘I'm okay... Just... I can't do much, I guess.’ Minho nodded. ‘Y-You wanna come in?’

Minho nodded once again and Jisung let him in. Entering the room, Minho noticed it wasn't too much different from his room. On Chan's side, everything was organized to perfection and there were a couple of swimming trophies, as well as pictures of his family over his bed. And on Jisung's side, there were only a couple of band's posters. Jisung's side was way less organized than Chan's side, but it still didn't compare to the mess that was Minho's room. 

Jisung sat on Chan's bed and Minho sat in front of him, as he looked around the room to grasp on every detail. It somehow said so much about them. 

‘So... How much did the dance suck?’ asked Jisung scratching the back of his head.

Minho shrugged his shoulders. ‘It was okay I guess... God bless Changbin and his alcohol, though.’

Jisung laughed slightly. ‘Do you still have some?’

‘Yes,’ Minho took the flask out of his suit. ‘Want some?’

Jisung nodded shyly and Minho got up from the bed to sit next to Jisung. He handed him the flask and Jisung didn't hesitate to take a big gulp out of it, which made Minho smile.

‘Were you that desperate for alcohol?’ Minho asked, amused.

‘Listen, life has been a bit hard lately,’ Jisung laughed slightly.

‘Yeah, same,’ said Minho as he took the flask away from Jisung and took a sip himself. ‘I don't get how we didn’t meet earlier.’

‘Me neither, to be honest,’ said Jisung as he shrugged his shoulders. ‘But then again, I just hang out with Chan and Changbin, and everyone else kind of... Falls into a void for me.’

Minho laughed, which made Jisung's face turn red as he held back onto the flask. ‘I'm the same with my best friends... I guess that's why. Neither of us pays attention to people unless they're our friend already.’ Jisung laughed and nodded. ‘I guess now we can notice each other.’

‘I guess so…’

It didn't take long for them to finish Minho's flask but by the time all of its content was gone, Minho and Jisung were laying next to each other on Chan's bed talking about whatever crossed their minds. Jisung showed him a couple of funny videos on youtube and Minho showed him pictures of his cats. And it turned out, they had more in common than they had expected. It didn't take much for them to realize that they were just as lonely as the other was. 

One would've thought that they would talk about their friends in common, but none of their names was ever mentioned. The conversation was about Minho and Jisung, and only them. Their interest, their past, their hopes, what made them happy... For once, it was really just about them. Minho gave Jisung all the attention he had ever wanted, and Jisung made Minho feel like he was wanted.

In between laughs, Minho finally worked up the courage to tell him what had been on his mind for the last half an hour, and he was too drunk to filter the information. ‘You want to know the truth about me coming here?’

Jisung frowned, confused but still laughed nervously. ‘What do you mean? You didn't want to know how I was?’

Minho rolled his eyes. ‘Of course, I wanted to know. I was wondering about your well being the whole week.’

‘Didn't think anyone would care that much about me.’

‘Why not?’ Jisung shrugged his shoulders. ‘A lot of people care about you.’

Jisung rolled his eyes. ‘Sure, whatever. Just tell me why you came here and if it's to steal something, _believe me,_ there's nothing valuable in this room.’

Minho laughed and shook his head. ‘Then I would steal you.’

‘You're being annoying,’ said Jisung as his whole face turned to red. ‘Just go to the fucking point.’

‘I did want to know how you were but... Also, Chan told me something about you that made me actually come here to talk to you.’

Jisung’s eyes opened wide, and Minho could tell he was feeling more nervous than ever before. They were on a twin-sized bed, and he could feel Jisung's heartbeat raising.

‘Shit, what did that asshole tell you?’

‘Before I do, remember that the fact that he said it to me was actually a good thing. It got me here, didn't it?’

‘Is that really good?’

‘Yes,’ said Minho, punching him lightly on the shoulder as Jisung laughed proud of himself. ‘I had alcohol to give you.’

‘Fair enough.’

‘He said you had a crush on me.’

Jisung stayed frozen for a couple of seconds, to the point Minho thought he had somehow broken him. But then Jisung covered his face with his hands and growled.

‘I'm gonna fucking kill him! Stop it! That’s so fucking embarrassing!’

Minho just laughed and shook his head. ‘No, it isn't!’ He tried to get Jisung's hand off of his face which he eventually managed to do after a while. ‘It's cute!’

‘I barely know you and you already know I have a crush on you, how more embarrassing can it get!?’

‘I mean... You could break your foot because of me... Oh, wait... That happened.’

Minho seemed to be enjoying himself as Jisung took Chan’s pillow from below him and hit Minho with it as he laughed. 

‘There's no need to be violent with your crush!’

‘Fuck off. I'm so embarrassed right now. Did you just come here to reject me or something?’ said Jisung as Minho rearranged his hair.

‘Not at all... I came here to do something else.’

It all happened in slow motion - how Minho got close to Jisung and stopped for a couple of seconds to look at him directly in the eyes, and how their lips finally touched. The kiss turned quickly into a passionate one. Soon, Minho was on top of Jisung creating friction between the two of them and the kiss became with every second that passed even deeper and more demanding. Jisung's hands caressed Minho's back as Minho had his hands on Jisung's black hair, pulling from it, messing with it.

All Minho wanted was to get lost on Jisung and forget about it all. But unfortunately for Minho, Jisung wasn't the one he was thinking about.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the pain in his heart, maybe both - but he really didn't care anymore. He wanted more from Jisung. He needed it. And so, Minho broke off the kiss just to see how accelerated Jisung's breathing was and how red his lips had turned. He wanted him.

‘Where are your condoms?’ Minho kissed quickly Jisung's lips before getting up and looking for them on Jisung's side of the room.

Jisung sat on the bed surprised, still with heavy breathing, and shook his head. ‘You won't find any there... Chan must have a box or something.’

Minho turned to Chan's side of the room and started opening the drawers, searching for condoms. ‘Why don't you have any?’

‘I've never needed them.’

Minho froze as he heard those words and felt his whole entire body sobering up. He turned to Jisung and it wasn't like he didn't look attractive anymore, but the heat that once had been there was gone. 

‘A-Are you a virgin?’

Jisung stayed silent for a couple of seconds. ‘Is that a problem? I mean... I've done stuff but…’ Minho stared quietly at Jisung. ‘I don't mind it being a one night stand, really.’

‘Y-You don't get it, Jisung... We're drunk…’

‘Well, I don't mind that either... We're not that drunk.’ Minho shook his head. ‘Minho, it's sex, it ain't that deep.’

‘But I'm using you.’

Jisung shrugged his shoulders. ‘Well use me. I'm fine with that.’

‘You're drunk, Jisung, you're not getting it.’ Jisung could see on Minho's look that he was worried, almost on the verge of tears. ‘ _Right now_ it's fine. But tomorrow it won't be.’

‘It's just sex, Minho. Maybe it's not fine with you, which is cool, and I won’t pressure you or anything. But don't pin this on me because I'm the virgin one here. Or at least have the guts to tell me you don't want to sleep with me just because I'm a virgin.’

Minho shook his head. Jisung didn't seem mad, he seemed confused, desperate, and somehow sad, which Minho hated. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt him.

‘It's not about you being a virgin. You just... Deserve better than to have your first time with someone that's thinking about someone else.’

Jisung looked down, realizing what had been going on from the beginning. He had been used before. If he was honest with himself, all of the experiences he had were with people that used him for one reason or another. It never was about him. But for a second, he thought Minho would be different. Even if it would've been for one night, he thought that Minho would've really cared about him and liked _him_. It was one thing to use him for sex, which is what he thought of when Minho said he was using him. Another thing was to use him to forget about someone else. Another thing was to have the guy he liked making out with him while thinking of a better option. Because in the first option, Minho wanted him, but the second option, he just wanted anyone.

‘I need to go. I'm really sorry, Jisung.’

Minho didn't wait for an answer, he just headed out the room and walked as quickly as he could to his room. Jisung's room was on the same floor as Hyunjin’s, while Minho's room was on the floor below them. He went down the stairs quickly, wishing to be already in bed and shut himself from the world. However, when he got to his floor he saw at a distance Hyunjin standing next to Seungmin in front of the younger's room door. Automatically Minho hid away, pressing his back against the wall next to the corridor opening.

He waited there for a couple of minutes, hoping that Hyunjin would take the stairs from the other side to go up to his room. If he didn't, Minho wouldn't know how to explain how red his lips were, how messy his hair and clothes were, and how teary his eyes were. Hopefully, when Minho heard the door close, he also heard Hyunjin's footsteps getting further and further away. When Minho eventually got the guts to come out of his hidden place, the corridor was empty. No trace of Hyunjin nor Seungmin, nor anyone else.

When Minho got to his room, he was surprised to not find Felix there, but he was grateful. He didn't want Felix to see him this way either, and he didn't want to give him explanations. He changed out of his clothes and without even checking his phone, he got into bed and waited to fall asleep. He was as lonely as he had woken up, but he was still hoping the next day would be a better one.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's been a month. I'm sorry to the people that are reading this but if you are thank you so much.  
> Anyway hope you enjoy :) and stream Back Door  
> Also, me being shit at writing abt soft ships but good at writing angsty ones is getting to be a problem bc there's way more minsung then I had initially imagined anywayyy

Changbin had left Felix with one mission only: to not leave without Jeongin. Felix didn't really understand why because, even though Jeongin was a year younger than them, he wasn't a child either. But Changbin always said he wanted to make sure he was okay and there was something in Changbin's eyes each time he said it that made it impossible for Felix to say "no". Not that he ever could either way.

Minho was the first one to disappear from the dance. One second he was sitting next to him, and the next one, he wasn't there anymore. But it wasn't a behavior Felix wasn't used to or didn't understand. Hyunjin and Seungmin were the next ones to leave. Hyunjin was all smiley and happy. And finally, Changbin left when almost no one else was there, leaving Felix with that one mission - to look out for Jeongin.

‘You can leave, you know,’ said Jeongin sitting next to him as he looked at the shots he had taken with his camera.

Felix turned to him. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘C'mon, Felix, I'm not stupid. I know Changbin asked you to look out for me.’ Jeongin looked up from his camera. ‘Even a kid can go from here to the dorms. Just leave already.’

Felix looked at Jeongin in silence, processing his words but deciding to ignore half of them. ‘When are you planning on leaving?’

Jeongin shrugged his shoulders. ‘Why does it matter?’

‘Let me go to the bathroom, and we can go, yeah?’ said Felix as he got up from his seat.

Jeongin rolled his eyes and sighed. ‘Whatever.’

Felix headed to the bathrooms, but he didn't go into any of the cabinets. Instead, he leaned against the sinks and took his cellphone out of his pocket. He quickly searched for his conversation with Changbin and started typing. Felix waited a couple of minutes but never got a reply, which was to be expected from Changbin. Felix sighed, and after actually going to the bathroom, he went back to the main room just to find it almost totally empty.

Chan was the only one there. He was cleaning up the trash and making sure everything was in order. None of the people that had been there because Felix left were there, including Jeongin. He approached Chan who hadn't noticed his presence, but once he did, he smiled at him warmly.

‘What are you still doing here? Everyone left.’

‘I went to the bathroom…,’ said Felix. ‘Jeongin was supposed to wait for me. Did he leave already?’ Chan nodded and went back to putting all the plastic glasses together, which confused Felix. ‘Should you be the one doing that?’

‘Not really... But it doesn't hurt to make it easier for the cleaning staff.’

Felix nodded slowly. ‘I didn't see you until now, by the way. Did you really stay all this time outside?’ Chan nodded as he walked away to another table. Felix followed him and started helping him. ‘So let me get this straight... You organize this _whole_ thing, sell the tickets, but don't actually enjoy it.’

Chan laughed slightly. ‘I don't really care about dances if I'm being honest. It's nice to organize it for everyone and everything, and it also gives me some credit for college, but the whole idea of going to a dance and the slow dancing and everything... I don't know... Doesn't seem that interesting when you're single.’

Felix shrugged his shoulders. ‘I mean, you can still have fun with your friends.’

‘And I do whenever I do go to dances but... I don't know. I prefer to be helpful, you know?’

Felix nodded slightly and followed Chan to the next table.

‘You don't have to help, Felix,’ said Chan once they finished cleaning up the third table.

‘Yeah, I know, but I want to. I would feel bad leaving you here alone,’ said Felix smilingly.

‘You shouldn't... This is what I always do.’

‘That's kinda sad.’

Chan shrugged his shoulders, and they moved on to the next table. They superficially cleaned the whole room, not really talking apart from ‘where do I put this?’ or ‘could you pass me that?’.

‘Ok,’ said Chan, closing a big bag of garbage. ‘I think we're done. Thank you for helping me.’

‘I still think it's a crime you organize all of this and don't enjoy it, but whatever.’ 

‘I told you I don't mind,’ said Chan smiling.

‘But I do!’ said Felix. ‘It's not fair.’

Chan sighed, still with a smile on his lips. ‘Ok, so what do you want me to do? The dance is over.’

Felix stayed quiet for a while as he looked up thinking of a solution. Chan just looked at him, half too tired to care, half amused. ‘Promise me that next time you will _actually_ dance.’

Chan sighed. ‘That might not be as easy as you think.’

‘Promise me!’

‘Or what?’

‘Or else.’ Chan laughed loudly as Felix tried to keep a straight face, but he eventually smiled. ‘I just think it's time you give yourself a break, bro. Every time I see you, you're talking about college and all the teams you're in... You deserve fun in life!’

Chan rolled his eyes, but he kept smiling. ‘I do have fun!’

‘Oh, yeah, because looking at college brochures and having each and every one of your activities be related to college’s requirements must be _so_ fun,’ said Felix with a noticeable sarcastic tone in his voice.

‘If I promise you I'm gonna go to the dance next time, you promise you'll leave me be?’

‘A promise for a promise?’ Chan nodded slightly. ‘Ok, seems fair. But really, Chan, you need to chill. It’s okay to take a rest from now and then. It’s actually the best thing to do. It’s the _healthy_ thing to do’

‘Sure. If you say so. Can we leave now? I don't know about you but I'm tired.’

They headed out the room and Felix waited for Chan to close every door and make sure everything was in order. They then walked together to the dorms. As they got up the stairs, Felix asked him how Jisung was doing after he had heard about him getting injured. Chan explained the situation to him, leaving Minho totally out of the story. Once they got to Felix's floor, they stood still facing each other. Chan could tell Felix was tired, his eyes were starting to get red and he had yawned multiple times on their way there.

They headed out of the room, and Felix waited for Chan to close every door and make sure everything was in order. They then walked together to the dorms. As they got up the stairs, Felix asked him how Jisung was doing after he had heard about his injury. Chan explained the situation to him, leaving Minho totally out of the story. Once they got to Felix's floor, they stood still facing each other. Chan could tell Felix was tired, his eyes were starting to get red, and he had yawned multiple times on their way there. 

‘Thank you for helping me and everything. You really didn’t have to but… Thank you’

Felix smiled. ‘It was nothing, you don't have to thank me.’

‘Still…,’ said Chan with a type of smile that Felix had never seen on him. He could tell he was truly grateful. ‘I hope you get to sleep in your own bed, though.’

Felix frowned, confused. ‘What are you talking about?’

Chan shrugged his shoulders. ‘I don't know... In the case Hyunjin was spending the night with Seungmin, I'm guessing Jeongin would stay with you guys rather than with Changbin.’

It took Felix a while to process all the information. Yes, somehow Jeongin being in his room made some kind of sense if it ever came to Seungmin and Hyunjin being in his room. However, what confused him, even more, was how he had forgotten about the whole Hyunjin and Seungmin thing.

‘Or maybe he could be in my room after all,’ said Chan looking at the ceiling.

‘Do you really think they would spend the night together when they've known each other for a week?’

Chan shrugged his shoulders. ‘I mean... They seemed to really be getting along, so who knows, right? Either way, they're cute together.’

Felix half-smiled. ‘I guess they are... Hyunjin is on the good path to win his bet.’

‘I never knew what that was about.’

Felix rolled his eyes. ‘It's stupid, believe me. Long story short, Changbin bet Hyunjin he wouldn't be able to stay in a relationship for longer than three months before the end of senior year. And it became this _whole_ thing: Han got in it, Jeongin kind of did too... Seungmin doesn't know about it _but_ he knows there's a bet going on and these three idiots couldn’t find anyone better to do than to make him decide the punishment. And well, apparently Seungmin decided that the loser would do whatever the winner tells him to for 24 hours.’

Chan laughed slightly. ‘Fuck, they're so stupid.’

Felix nodded. ‘Told you.’

‘Well, Hyunjin is clearly going to win. Seungmin and him are perfect together.’

Felix shrugged his shoulders. ‘I guess...’

‘You don't think they are?’

‘I think they're definitely gonna date but I'm not sure it's gonna last _three months_.’

Chan nodded slowly. ‘Wanna make a bet of ours?’ he said with a cheeky smile.

Felix laughed slightly. ‘Is this how you repay me for helping you? Cornering me into a bet?’

‘You cornered me into going to a dance first.’

Felix rolled his eyes. ‘Ok, fair enough. But don't tell Hyunjin I'm betting against him, please.’

‘Don't worry your secret's safe with me.’ Chan made a step backward. ‘Goodnight, Lix.’

‘Goodnight, Chan.’

Chan quickly got up the stairs to go to his own room and Felix turned to his room and got there as fast as he could. When he got to the room, everything was dark but he still could see Minho’s silhouette laying on his bed. He probably was still awake. Felix changed quickly out of his suit and put on sweatpants along with his usual plain white shirt. Without really thinking too much about it, he kneeled down in front of Minho's bed and that's when he saw his eyes open. Felix dedicated him a small smile which Minho tried to reciprocate. But Felix knew better so, without saying a word, he got into the bed with Minho and cuddled him. Minho didn't respond much to the hug at first but eventually, he pressed his head against Felix's chest as if he was about to cry. But he didn't cry. Minho never cried.

Felix didn't mind caring for someone that didn't cry or never really talked to him about how they were feeling. Because no, they had never talked about it. Felix had never heard words come out of Minho's mouth about the topic. But Felix _knew_. And he knew when his friend needed him, and now it was one of those times. He didn't need to know or understand everything, he just needed to be there. And that's exactly what he did.

‘What do you do when your friend is sad and you don't know why?’

Hyunjin looked up from the book he was reading for his English literature class and looked at Changbin sitting still at the desk, looking through the window. He was so still Hyunjin wondered if he had hallucinated hearing those words but after a couple of seconds of silence, Changbin turned to him as if waiting for an answer.

‘Who's sad?’ asked Hyunjin, keeping the book open in his hands.

‘That doesn't matter,’ answered Changbin getting up from the chair and sitting on his bed. 

‘It kind of does, though. Everyone is different and everyone needs different things when they're sad,’ said Hyunjin as he closed his book and sat properly on his bed.

‘You're way better at this whole  _ feelings _ thing... I suck at it. I don't know what to do. If I should push him to talk to me, or just cheer him up, or leave him alone, or… I don’t know. I'm totally lost.’

Hyunjin sighed. ‘Have you tried to talk to him? Like  _ really _ talk to him?’

‘I mean... I asked if he was okay but that was it. I'm scared if I push more he's gonna feel cornered or something like that…’

‘That's why it depends on the person, Bin.’

‘I just... I don't want to tell you who it is because I know he wouldn't want you to know,’ said Changbin biting his lip.

‘Is it Jeongin?’ asked Hyunjin suddenly concerned about the issue but Changbin automatically shook his head.

‘No, it's not him. I know what to do with him. I just leave him the fuck alone,’ said Changbin. ‘It's just someone else, okay? And I know a kind of big shitty thing happened to him lately but... I didn't think he would struggle this much about it? He was fine last week! I feel like there's something more...’

Hyunjin stayed silent as he looked at Changbin. He wondered if it could be either Felix or Minho. For it to be Minho didn't make much sense. For once because his attitude wasn't that unusual, and also because Changbin wouldn't talk about it to Hyunjin that way. He would either keep it to himself or tell him right to his face that something was off with Minho. And Felix seemed to be totally fine. But maybe something was going on that Hyunjin hadn't noticed.

‘Did something happen to Felix?’

Changbin frowned and shook his head quickly. ‘Stop asking, I'm not telling you... But no, it's not Felix. Felix is fine.’

‘Ok, then who is it?’

‘I'm not telling you! He's just sad, okay? What do I do?’ said Changbin loudly, starting to get pissed at Hyunjin. And it was enough for Hyunjin to understand he needed to back off.

‘I guess that if you're scared to pressure him too much... You could just tell him you're there for him and that he can talk to you if he ever feels like it.’

‘But will he really talk to me when he needs to?’ asked Changbin; and Hyunjin could tell how truly concerned he actually was. 

‘Not necessarily but... If he doesn't, then hopefully he does have someone to talk to. And if you see that it's going downhill, then do an “intervention” or something. People need that sometimes, but sometimes it's just, you know, you feel sad without a precise reason and it eventually passes. Some people need to talk through it and others just need space.’

Changbin nodded slightly. ‘Okay... Thank you…’

Hyunjin watched Changbin get up from the bed and go back to the desk. He could tell he was serious about it and that he was very notably worried about this person. Hyunjin wished he could do anything to help, but he doubted even Changbin could do something about it. But he hated seeing him worrying and sad. He started to open his mouth to tell him to watch a movie together while cuddling, because that seemed to work pretty well with Changbin, but the door opened before he could say anything.

Jeongin entered the room as if it was his own and stood in front of Hynjin who was sitting on the bed with his legs crossed. Changbin turned to Jeongin and Hyunjin saw his face lit up. Maybe he couldn't take his worries away from Changbin, but Jeongin somehow could.

‘I have an idea,’ said Jeongin ignoring how Changbin went up to him with a smile.

‘About what?’

‘About Seungmin, dumbass,’ said Jeongin pushing away Changbin who was already trying to wrap his arms around him. Jeongin thought he would have to struggle a bit more but as he said Seungmin's name, Changbin stood still and frowned.

‘What are you talking about?’

Jeongin turned to Changbin. ‘I'm helping Hyunjin with Seungmin.’

Hyunjin smiled happily and proud of himself as Changbin seemed deeply hurt. ‘That wasn't part of the deal!’

‘You included Han first and he changed the whole thing! So I don't think you get to say that,’ answered Hyunjin.

‘But he's part of the bet! If I lose, he loses too. If Jeongin is helping you then he's getting punished as well if you do lose. If not, it’s just unfair.’

Suddenly Jeongin turned to Hyunjin, giving him a deadly look. Meanwhile, his friend didn't seem to care one bit. ‘I didn't sign up for  _ that _ .’

‘I don't care! If you already helped him in any way then you're in.’

Jeongin rolled his eyes. ‘For fuck's sake…’ He let himself fall onto Changbin's bed as Changbin started to laugh happily. Suddenly the betrayal he had felt had turned into pure happiness because now if he won the bet, he would be able to make Jeongin whatever he wanted.

‘So what was your idea either way?’ asked Hyunjin.

Jeongin sighed. ‘The game.’

Hyunjin frowned. ‘What game?’

It didn't take long for Changbin to throw a pillow at him. ‘Why do you never listen to me when I talk to you!? There's a soccer game on Friday!’

Hyunjin just smiled amused. ‘What about the game?’

‘Go with Seungmin. As a second date. It's perfect,’ said Jeongin.

‘A soccer game? As a second date?’ asked Hyunjin, wrinkling his nose.

‘I mean you're going either way, aren't you? You might as well not go alone.’

‘I'm going with Felix.’

‘Hwang! Do you want to win the bet or not!?’

Hyunjin stayed quiet for a while looking at the floor. The thing was, it wasn't even about the bet anymore. He really did like Seungmin. He liked the way he smiled. He liked how it felt when their hands would touch accidentally when they would walk side by side. He liked how he made him feel. And Hyunjin didn't think he had ever felt that way about anyone before. 

Usually, he would be freaking out about everything and would want everything to go as fast as it could go. But with Seungmin, it wasn't like that. It was okay if it was slow because he felt at ease with him. He didn't feel like he needed to pretend to be anyone else but himself. Seungmin made him feel like there was time and he made him feel that what mattered wasn't when but how. And for once, Hyunjin didn’t care about how fast their relationship was moving. He wanted things to be perfect.

Yes. Hyunjin wanted to win the bet but not to avoid the punishment - because he couldn't care less about that. Hyunjin wanted to win not because of the win itself but because he truly wanted to spend more than three months with Seungmin.

It was only September, but somehow the weather was as cold as if it was late October or November. Seungmin didn't want to disappoint Hyunjin by telling him he didn't really feel like going out to the cold. So instead, he looked for the warmest sweatshirt he could find in his closet and put it on. He decided to ignore the amused smile on Jeongin's lips who was lying on his bed reading comics. He was probably laughing inside about how Seungmin had to go out to the cold and he could stay in. But Seungmin didn't say anything and as soon as he saw Hyunjin at the door, all the laziness in his body went away.

Soccer wasn't Seungmin's forte  _ at all _ . Sure, he knew the basic rules and he had watched some games before, but it wasn't something he was really interested in. Oddly enough, Hyunjin didn't seem that interested in it either, but he still had asked him to go with him. Seungmin didn't hesitate to say yes when he asked him out, because he actually liked spending time with Hyunjin. He liked his laugh and how pretty he looked even when he was half asleep every morning. He liked the way he would look at him for a couple of seconds - probably questioning if he should make a move or not - before he would touch him or even speak to him. He liked how Hyunjin did everything possible to touch his hand but not actually hold it, as if he was waiting for the perfect moment to do it for the first time. Seungmin didn't really understand what someone like Hyunjin could see in him but he didn't mind. He liked Hyunjin. There really wasn’t any reason not to like him.

When they got to the field, a lot of people were already there, including the team that was warming up. Hyunjin waved at Minho at a distance as Seungmin and him sat in the third row. Minho waved back with a barely noticeable smile, but not before he took a look at Seungmin first. He didn't want to say anything because it hadn't been that long since he knew everyone, but Seungmin knew Minho didn't like him and he had no idea why. 

He noticed Jisung sitting in the first row, still with his crutches next to him. Since they had talked before the dance, they had spoken a couple more times in class and even texted. There was nothing not to like about the guy and there was nothing not to like about Hyunjin, so it was still hard for Seungmin to wrap around his mind that they didn't get along, especially because they seem to share the same friends.

Felix got to the field a couple of minutes later. Seungmin watched as Changbin ran to him to tell him something Felix just nodded at. In the span of just seconds, Changbin had gone back to his teammates and Felix was heading towards Jisung.

‘That's weird…’

Seungmin turned to Hyunjin who was looking at Felix frowning as his friend sat next to Jisung. ‘What is?’

‘Felix sitting next to Han... They're not friends. They've never been friends.’

Seungmin looked at Felix and Jisung from behind; neither of them was speaking to the other. ‘Maybe Felix just wanted to sit next to someone... You usually go to these games with him, right?’

Hyunjin nodded slowly. ‘Yeah, I guess... I still find it weird.’ After a couple of minutes of silence, Hyunjin eventually sighed and turned to Seungmin. ‘I'm sorry... It's just weird… But it doesn't really matter.’

Seungmin smiled at him warmly and shook his head. ‘It's okay. I get it.’

Hyunjin smiled slightly and placed his hand slowly on top of Seugmin's. Seungmin just wanted to hold his hand once and for all. He knew he would want more eventually, but for now, he just wanted to hold his hand. However, as Seungmin moved his hand from below Hyunjin's to wrap their fingers together, Hyunjin removed his totally and turned to him.

‘Do you want anything to drink or eat? I'm buying.’

‘You don't need to pay, you know. I can give you th-’

This time, Hyunjin put his hand on his leg and looked at him right in the eyes. ‘Seungmin, I invited you. I'm paying.’

Seungmin felt butterflies in his stomach and just nodded, trying his best not to get too red. Thankfully, the weather was so cold it wasn't that hard to keep a straight face and pretend he wasn’t completely flustered by Hyunjin. ‘Anything you get is okay."

‘Churros and hot chocolate? There's a stand at the other side of the field.’

Seungmin nodded. ‘Sounds perfect.’

Hyunjin smiled one last time at him before he got up and left Seungmin on his own. Somehow, once Hyunjin wasn't there, it had become impossible to ignore how cold it actually was and it was way more difficult to handle. The game wasn't starting for at least ten more minutes. The teams were just getting ready, doing some exercises to get their bodies warm. Seungmin watched as Changbin approached Jisung and Felix, and he heard Jisung's voice get a bit louder. Within a minute, Jisung got up from the bench with difficulty and walked away as fast as he could. Changbin called out his name but Jisung didn't hesitate to keep walking without looking back. Changbin turned to Felix and sighed before he lowered his voice and the two of them started to talk about something they seemed not to want other people to know. They were so emerged in their conversation that they didn't notice that someone went after Jisung. But Seungmin did notice.

Truth was, Jisung didn't want any part of it. He didn't want Changbin to ask him what was wrong, and the last thing he needed was Changbin to ask Felix out of all people to sit next to him during the game he should be playing out of mere pity. He should be on the field, with Chan and Changbin. But he had to go and ruin that for himself as well. All because of a stupid crush that ended up with him be treated like shit. As Jisung walked away from the field, he wondered how many punches he could take in so little time. All he knew was, life didn't seem to give him a break as he recognized Minho's voice calling after him. 

Jisung planned to ignore it, because talking to him was honestly the last thing he wanted or needed, but Minho grabbed him by the arm. As he turned to face him, Jisung's second plan was to tell him to fuck himself. But as soon as he saw Minho's face, he just wanted to kiss him again and he hated himself so much for it.

‘Listen, I don't have much time but... Can we talk? Please...’

Jisung shrugged his shoulders. ‘There's nothing to say.’

‘Yes, there is.’ Minho seemed nervous. ‘I was an asshole to you... I-I shouldn't have left you there and I should've explained myself, I don't know... I just... Treated you like shit.’

‘Yeah, well... You used me. You aren't that different from everyone else.’ Jisung shrugged his shoulders once again as if he didn't care a bit. ‘I can deal.’

‘I didn't use you, okay?’

‘Yeah, sure, we didn’t have sex but you still were willing to before you knew I was a virgin. And during all that time you were thinking of someone else. I call that using someone.’

‘-it wasn't like that.’

‘The only thing that stopped you was the fact that I was a virgin. You didn’t want to have sex with me which is okay. What is not okay is that you put the blame on  _ me _ when I did _nothing_ wrong. You just didn’t like me enough.’

‘It wasn’t about me not liking you, Jisung. I promise. If it would’ve been only about using you, we would’ve had sex. I get that it must have felt like shit to be left like that and I’m  _ so  _ sorry. I truly am. But believe me, it would've been worse, you just don't see it now.’

‘Why are you treating me like I'm a child? Fuck you, Minho. Just because I'm a virgin doesn't mean you need to protect me or whatever you are doing right now. I know what’s best for me and what isn’t. And if I want to have my first time half-drunk with someone I didn’t know that much but I  _ really _ liked, then that's _my_ choice.  _ You _ didn’t want to, which again, it’s okay. But don’t pin your shitty behavior on my virginity and don’t belittle me for not having sex, thank you so much. That shit doesn't even matter! It's a fucking social construct! ’

Minho nodded slightly. ‘You may feel that way about sex but I don't... And I didn't want to have that weight on me.’

‘So you made me feel like shit.’

‘I did what I thought was the best for you… And for me, I guess. But clearly, I did everything wrong because I was selfish and just… I should’ve owned up to the fact I didn’t want to have sex. I’m sorry.’

Jisung sighed. ‘Thank you for apologizing, I guess…’

‘Let me make it up to you.’

Jisung rolled his eyes and laughed slightly. ‘Why would you do that? Let's just leave it here. I just wanna go back to my bedroom and sleep.’

‘Because I like you.’

Jisung stared at Minho in silence and eventually shook his head. ‘No, you don't. You like someone else.’

Minho shut his eyes and sighed before looking back at Jisung. ‘It's complicated, okay? But I do like you. And I wanna get to know you.’ Jisung looked at the ground avoiding Minho's gaze. ‘Listen... I really have to go but I'm having a gathering in my room next week for my roommates' birthday. Changbin and Chan are invited as well. You should come.’

‘Why would I do that?’ said Jisung as he looked back at Minho.

‘I don't know... It's not even about me, that's why I'm telling you. It's gonna be food and alcohol and games, and just hanging out with people. Or you can see it as giving me a second chance... No strings attached, though. It's up to you. But I would really love it if you were there because... I like you, okay? And I never say that to anyone,  _ ever _ .’

Jisung looked down and nodded. ‘I-I like you too... Even though you're an asshole.’

Minho laughed happily. ‘I'll take it.’ Jisung smiled slightly. ‘I do need to go now.’

‘I know.’

‘One last thing, though.’

Before Jisung could say anything, Minho pressed his lips against Jisung’s, just for a couple of seconds. It was short and sweet. Jisung didn't think he had ever been kissed like that before so when Minho pulled away and smiled at him, Jisung hadn’t realized yet what had just happened. He had seen couples kiss that way, just a small peck on the lips as if it was routine. Jisung had never been in a relationship to know what that was like. When he started to have any physical contact with people, everyone was way passed the whole quick-kiss-on-the-lips thing which used to be a big deal back in middle school. Jisung went straight from having no experience to full-on making out with guys in the bathroom during school dances.

So no, Jisung had never been kissed that way before.

‘I  _ really _ need to go now.’

‘Coach is gonna kill you.’

‘I'll compensate by winning the game.’

‘Pretentious much?’

Minho smiled amused. ‘Try not to break anything else going back to your room and I'll see you at the party.’ Without waiting for an answer, Minho turned away and ran back to the field leaving Jisung with too many thoughts in his head that were impossible to process. All he could think about at that precise moment was that he had forgotten to wish him good luck.


	7. Chapter 7

After the game, Minho was absolutely exhausted. He had never thought that something that he loved so much doing could drain so much out of him. So when Chan and Changbin told him about the secret gathering they were having in Chan's room, Minho decided to turn it down even though he knew it would be a chance to see Jisung again - all he wanted was a good night sleep - so Felix took his place and went to the gathering leaving Minho by himself in the room. 

He thought that he would be able to sleep as soon as he laid on his bed, because even though he had gotten used to Felix's noises when he played video games and all the lights - it still was noise and lights. However, while Minho's body had totally run out of energy, his mind didn't seem to stop. He stared at the ceiling for hours, unable to stop thinking for even a second. He thought about Hyunjin and Seungmin at the game, how happy and perfect they looked together, straight out of one of those romcoms Hyunjin always made him watch. He even thought about Jeongin, who he had barely seen in all day and who sometimes he wished to be like, totally detached from any drama or anyone. But most of all, he thought of Jisung.

He wondered how morally correct was what he was doing. How bad was it to go after someone you genuinely liked while still being in love with someone else? Jisung surely did deserve better, but Minho wanted him so badly. He liked the way it felt to talk to him and to kiss him. Jisung made him feel worth more than what he actually was worth. Yes. He genuinely liked Jisung but what he liked even more was the way he made him feel.

Minho stayed there, laying in the dark, staring at the ceiling, until Felix came back to the room - that's the first time Minho decided to check on his phone. 3:13 A.M. 10 new messages. Hyunjin.

‘Can't sleep?’

Minho looked up at Felix who was changing out of his clothes. Minho could tell he lost balance a couple of times, probably due to the alcohol, but he didn't say anything, he just shook his head to his friend's question.

‘Was the party fun?’

Felix shrugged his shoulders. ‘Yeah, it was. Got a little too much to drink though, my head is already killing me.’

‘You don't seem _that_ drunk.’

‘Too tired to be drunk.’

Minho laughed slightly as Felix got into his bed. ‘By the way... I wanted to ask you something... Is it okay if someone else comes to your birthday?’

‘Yeah, sure. The more the merrier,’ said Felix, with a raspy voice even more low than usual as he was about to fall at sleep. ‘Hyunjin is bringing Seungmin anyway, so you might as well invite whoever you want.’

‘Oh... I didn't know about that.’

But Felix was already deeply asleep. Minho sighed and looked back at his phone to read all the messages Hyunjin had sent him about his date. He started to type some soulless reply, too tired to even try, but then a new message popped into the screen.

 **HYUNJIN** **  
**_wait you're typing_ _  
__what are you doing awake?_ _  
__I thought you were asleep_

 **MINHO** _  
couldn't manage to fall asleep idk_

 **HYUNJIN** _  
you can come here if you want  
we're not really sleeping idk just talking so it's always more fun than to be on your own with insomnia  
or if you want i can go to yours_

 **MINHO** _  
when have YOU ever left your bedroom in the middle of the night?_

 **HYUNJIN** _  
remind me to never do anything nice for you EVER_

 **MINHO** _  
you really think you have a say in whether i go to your room or no huh?_

 **HYUNJIN** _**  
**so you're coming?_

Minho didn't bother to reply. He tried his best not to make too much noise and he left the room with his stuff on hand. It was almost automatic at this point, to sneak through the corridors to get to Hyunjin's room. After all, it had been three years since they had known each other. 

‘You know, Minho, for once, just for once-’ said Hyunjin as he opened the door after Minho knocked on it. ‘If you could answer me when I ask you if you're coming that would be amazing. I'm lending you my room after all.’

Minho smiled amused. ‘Again, it's cute that you think you have a choice.’

‘Again? You didn't say I was cute before,’ said Hyunjin with a cheeky smile on his face. Minho just rolled his eyes and slightly pushed Hyunjin out of the way to make his way into the room. 

Changbin was sitting on the bed, with the usual clothes Minho saw him wear every morning he would spend the night there. His eyes were a bit red and his hair was messy. Minho couldn't tell if it was because he was tired, drunk, or high. Chances were: a bit of everything.

‘So you can't come to Chan's room but you can come here?’ said Changbin with an amused smile on his lips.

Minho let himself fall on Hyunjin's bed and Hyunjin followed him by sitting next to him. ‘In my defense, Chan's thing was a _party_ and I was tired.’

‘And yet, it's 3 a.m. and you're here.’

‘Let him be,’ interrupted Hyunjin rolling his eyes. ‘If he prefers to hang out with me at 3 a.m. rather than at Chan's room with a bunch of jocks, then I understand. Plus, Han was there, who would willingly hang out with that asshole apart from you?’

‘That's true,’ said Minho, starting to cuddle onto the bed. ‘Who would want to hang out with a bully? Thank god I've never met him. I'm happy living my life this way.’

‘You're lucky,’ said Hyunjin nodding his head. Changbin laughed slightly and Hyunjin just looked at him confused. ‘What's so funny?’

Changbin shook his head. ‘Nothing. It's just... You literally never know what life can throw at you.’

Both Minho and Hyunjin frowned as Changbin got under the covers of his bed to make it clear he was done talking. The two best friends looked at each other in utter confusion before Changbin said one last thing as he turned off the light next to his bed:

‘You'll get soon enough, I guess.’

Jeongin still remembered the first roommate he ever had. He was a tall black-haired guy that seemed very intimidating at first, but actually, he was nice. Jeongin liked him quite a lot. He barely said anything and they both respected each other's boundaries. From the beginning, Jeongin had been nervous about sharing a room with someone he didn't know and no matter how much they tried, Hyunjin and him didn't manage to be in the same room for the first year. In the middle of the first year, his roommate was expelled or pulled out by his parents - Jeongin never really knew the real reason why he left. At first, Jeongin was sad and scared to be on his own, until he realized Hyunjin could move in with him. But by then, Hyunjin was already very close to Changbin and he told him he didn't want to leave his new friend alone. He told him that they would try to be roommates the next year. But that never happened.

Jeongin spent the rest of the year alone - and that's when he got close to Jisung. He would spend the nights with him sometimes, especially when Chan started to bring girls to their room. Still, even with Jisung there, Jeongin always felt lonely because the place Hyunjin was starting to leave behind couldn't be filled by anyone but him.

The second year was when it all went to hell. Jeongin was paired with the worst person he had ever met. He was one of those popular guys whose popularity was based on bullying other people, and Jeongin was part of those people. Going to his room became such a nightmare Jeongin even preferred going to class - so that's when Jeongin started to go to the house in the woods way more often than before. The space that had been once for him and Hyunjin became only his, and slowly he started to be okay with that. His second roommate didn't last long either because not long before the end of the year, Chan noticed what was happening and without being asked or without even talking about it later, he managed to get him expelled for something else that didn't evolve Jeongin.

Third year was fine enough, but after the second year everything seemed that nothing could ever be as bad. Everyone started to pay more attention to him and try to protect him to the point Jeongin hated it. He just wanted to be left alone. His roommate for that year was a guy that got a girlfriend pretty quickly, so Jeongin was obligated to go to his little house a lot to leave them alone, but he didn't mind. He was nice enough but they never really talked, and every time he tried to make conversation, Jeongin shut him down. It wasn't a surprise when he decided to change roommates for last year. After all, everything was better than a bitter sad boy that had no interest in him whatsoever. Since the beginning of the year, Jeongin had crossed his path a couple of times but they both looked away and pretended they didn't know each other - and to be honest it's not like they actually did.

And now Kim Seungmin.

He wasn't the worst, but he wasn't the best. Jeongin wished he could just tell him straight to his face that he didn't care one bit about him and had no interest in forming a friendship. But for once he was part of something with Hyunjin again, and even if he would never say it aloud, that meant the world to him. Jeongin didn't pretend to be Seungmin’s friend either but he didn't ignore him like he wished he would, he didn't answer sarcastically as he would have liked - he just tried his best to be neutral about it all. One thing he hadn't let go of was going to the house. That was his safe place. The closest thing to home.

As he left the library on Monday afternoon, he thought about how he was just going to leave his stuff in his room and go as fast as possible to that house and maybe stay there the night. It had become his favorite thing to do. At least, out there no one could bother him. No one even knew about it apart from Hyunjin, but it's not like he ever bothered to go there unless he needed something. However, his happiness faded away as soon as he opened the door to his room and found Changbin sitting on his bed and Jisung on Seungmin's bed with next to him his crutches and a joint on hand. 

‘The fuck are you doing here?’ asked Jeongin, quickly closing the door behind him.

‘It's my birthday!’ said Jisung happily.

‘Ok, congratulations, happy birthday. _Why are you here_?’ said Jeongin looking at Changbin.

‘We had soccer practice but we skipped,’ answered Changbin. ‘I mean, Jisung can't play soccer either way and it's his birthday so it's a special occasion.’

‘I don't wanna know about your life. Why can't you do this in one of your own rooms?’ asked Jeongin, starting to get annoyed by the lack of answers he was getting.

‘We invited Chan as well but he didn't want to, and then he prohibited us from smoking in his room so we thought of my room but Hyunjin was already there with Seungmin and he didn't want us there. So Seungmin gave us the key to your room.’

‘So Seungmin gave you the right to smoke in _my_ room? What the fuck is wrong with him?’

Jisung shrugged his shoulders. ‘It's his room as well... And you've never been annoyed about it before. I mean, ok, the whole being-in-your-room-without-you-being-here-or-knowing-about-it thing has never happened before but the smoking has.’ Jeongin sighed and left his backpack on the floor to sit next to Changbin. In a matter of seconds, his afternoon had been totally ruined thanks to Seungmin’s lack of judgment. He didn't mind the smoking, but leaving these two in his room was a huge and enormous no, even when they were sober. ‘And to be fair to him, he said no at first. He was afraid you wouldn't like it all that much. But I persuade him with my beauty. Plus, it's my birthday so no one can tell me no,’ said Jisung smiling happily as he passed the joint to Changbin. 

‘Why are you defending him so much?’ asked Jeongin. ‘He's annoying.’

Jisung shook his head energetically. ‘He's _so_ nice. He's such a caring person even if we've known each other for only like two weeks.’

‘I can see how that can be a problem for Innie,’ said Changbin, smiling amused and letting smoke out of his mouth. ‘But he's truly a nice guy. Just give him a chance.’ Jeongin rolled his eyes and took the joint from Changbin's hand to smoke from it. ‘Hyunjin will murder me if he knows I'm giving you weed.’

Jeongin shrugged his shoulders. ‘It's not like you haven't before. And fuck Hyunjin.’

‘Yes! Fuck Hyunjin!’ said Jisung half screaming. ‘I love you Jeongin. You're the only person to ever matter to me.’

Changbin rolled his eyes and shook his head. Jeongin got up from the bed to give back the joint to Jisung preventing him from making too much effort with his still broken foot. He sat back on the bed and looked at Changbin.

‘I've given Seungmin plenty of chances. I'm pretending I don't hate him to help Hyunjin because of _your_ stupid bed, so I'm actually being _nice_.’ said Jeongin. Jisung laughed slightly at the remark but didn’t say a word as he took a puff of the joint. ‘Are you laughing because you're high or did I say something funny?’

Jisung smiled amused. ‘Innie... Seungmin knows you hate him.’

‘No, he doesn't.’

‘Yes, he does. We've talked about it.’

‘Then why does he keeps talking to me and trying to hang out?’

Jisung shrugged his shoulders. ‘I think that’s because you haven't been a straight-up asshole to him as you usually are when you don't like someone. He might have hope that at some point you will like him. And as long as you don't make it clear to him you don't want anything to do with him, he's probably just gonna keep trying and for you, it's going to get more annoying every time.’

‘You've only known him for two weeks,’ said Changbin taking the joint away from him after getting up from Jeongin's bed.

‘Again: we've talked about it.’

‘Are you saying that because it's true or because you want to win the bet?’ asked Jeongin.

‘Maybe both.’

Jeongin didn't want Seungmin to follow him around. He didn't want him to try to get close to him. He didn't want anything to do with the guy. He knew Jisung wanted him to snap and he knew what worked on him, and it had worked. Suddenly Jeongin's space felt tremendously invaded more than ever before. His first roommate didn't care about him, the second one hated his guts and made fun of him every chance he got, the third one got the message pretty quickly, and he had managed to deal with all of them somehow. But Seungmin was different. Seungmin wasn't like anyone Jeongin had ever met before. Seungmin _tried_. And because of that, he had no idea how to deal with him. That was a problem.

Jeongin was taken out of his own thoughts when someone knocked at the door to let themselves in after a couple of seconds. Seungmin followed by Hyunjin entered the room. Even before Hyunjin realized what was happening, Jeongin knew what was coming: Hyunjin getting pissed at Changbin and Jisung for letting him smoke, Jisung mocking Hyunjin and Hyunjin getting even more pissed. Jeongin knew it all too well to stay there and listen to them baby him as if he was a 10 years old boy.

So instead of paying attention to Hyunjin's anger and listening to Jisung's ironic words or Changbin trying to defend himself, Jeongin put all the things he needed in his backpack to spend the night in his quiet house just like he had planned to begin with. However, he could feel Seungmin's eyes on him. He was quiet and didn't even seem to care about the fight that was going on next to him. Jeongin thought that he might have gotten used to it as he spent most of his days with the three of them in class. He let Seungmin out of his mind pretty quickly to put his backpack on his shoulder and go towards the door in an attempt to leave, but Hyunjin's strong grasp stopped him. Jeongin turned to him and looked at him keeping a straight face.

‘Where the fuck do you think you're going, Yang? You're high,’ said Hyunjin, as if being a year older gave him the right to treat Jeongin as a child.

‘Fuck, Hyunjin, I'm not high like these two assholes. I literally took one puff and I shouldn't have to justify myself. Stop treating me like a fucking child,’ said Jeongin as he freed himself from Hyunjin and went towards the door, hitting by accident Seungmin with his shoulder. He left the room as quickly as possible because there was nothing he wanted more than to be his safe place, that place that had been once his and Hyunjin's.

Jeongin tried his best to not think about the fact that his safe place didn't used to be an abandoned house in the middle of the woods, but more a person. He needed to stop thinking about how, before, wherever he went, if Hyunjin was there, he felt safe.

He needed to grow up.

Something had changed about Jisung since Friday night. The sad and quiet Jisung from last week had totally disappeared without leaving any trace whatsoever, and Changbin had no idea why. He was very much aware that Jisung had always really enjoyed his birthday, but that couldn't be all. Something had changed, and all throughout the weekend, Changbin didn't really understand why but he was grateful to see him smile again. 

It wasn't until after Changbin and Jisung left behind the chaos that had been caused in Jeongin's room that Changbin understood what had happened. Changbin was too high to remember exactly how they had come around to talk about it but he did remember that at some point Jisung just mentioned “Minho's roommate's birthday party”. Changbin didn't even take the time to listen to Jisung explain how Minho had invited him, all he could think about was that everything would blow up in a better way than he could've ever imagined. He was still surprised that no one had figured out what was going on yet, not even Felix. But then again, knowing Minho, he had probably not mentioned even once Jisung's name or existence to Felix.

That led them to Tuesday night. He hadn't seen or heard from Jeongin since the day before which worried him deeply but Changbin knew way too well that there was nothing he could do about it. Jeongin always seemed to found his way back to them eventually either way. As they waited for Chan, Jisung was sitting on his bed while Changbin was laying down on Chan’s bed. Changbin knew that if Jisung could get up and walk, he would be going from one side to the other out of nervousness.

‘Where the fuck is Chan? Shouldn't he be here by now?’ said Jisung while Changbin was checking his messages on his phone. ‘If we're late because of him, I just... Ugh. This is the _one_ time he decided not to be a pain in the ass about being on time.’

‘Since when do you care about being late?’

‘Since Minho invited me!’ Changbin smiled amused still looking at his phone as the room's door opened letting Chan in. ‘Finally! Where the fuck were you!?’

Chan frowned at Jisung as he left his things on the floor next to his bed. ‘Why do you care?’

‘He's going to Minho's roommate's birthday as well,’ said Changbin as he sat on the bed. Chan turned quickly towards Changbin even more confused than before.

‘What do you mean _Minho's roommate_?’ asked Chan looking right at Changbin who was just smiling.

‘Yeah, Minho invited me!’ said Jisung happily like a little kid who had been given candy. Chan looked at Jisung and then back to Changbin trying to understand what was happening but something didn't add up to him.

‘Chan... Minho invited Jisung to the birthday today... You know... For his roommate…’ said Changbin slowly looking right at Chan's eyes hoping he would understand that Jisung still didn't know they were actually going to Felix's birthday.

Chan stayed quiet looking at Changbin for a couple of seconds until he realized what was going on and his eyes opened wide open. ‘Oh! Right!’ He then turned to Jisung. ‘Sure, it's Minho's roommate's birthday.’

Jisung looked at him confused. ‘Yeah... I know... So if you could please hurry up, that would be awesome. Or I can just go and you'll meet me there.’

‘No!’

The scream coming out from both Changbin and Chan came out way louder than either of them had anticipated and confused Jisung even more as he held his hands high as he was being held at gunpoint.

‘Ok, ok, I'll wait. No need to scream.’ Jisung let his hands down. ‘But hurry up, I don't even know why you're so late either way.’

‘I was at swim practice.’

‘That ended like an hour ago,’ said Changbin. ‘You're forgetting my roommate is in the same team as you.’

Chan rolled his eyes as he took some clothes from his closet. ‘I was with a girl after practice, that's all.’ Without waiting for an answer, Chan went into the bathroom and soon enough Changbin and Jisung heard the shower water running.

Jisung sighed. ‘For once that _I_ have something going on, you're really not making any effort.’

Changbin laughed slightly. ‘You guys have seen each other like three times and one of those times was when you broke your foot and he had to bring you for the infirmary... I wouldn't define that as you having something “going on”.’

Jisung stayed quiet for a couple of seconds but Changbin didn't think too much of it. Of course, he didn't know what was behind that silence, if he did his attitude would be way different. ‘Yeah well... He invited me to this. It's lowkey a date.’

‘It's a birthday party with 8 people in a small room and shitty alcohol and weed.’

‘Wait, you’re using weed for this? I thought we were saving up! We won't be able to buy until we go out of here.’

‘Yeah, but it’s Minho's roommates' birthday.’

Jisung crossed his arms on his chest. ‘Yeah well, why is he suddenly so special? You've never even talked about him before. I don't even know why you guys are invited.’

Changbin didn't even care to answer as he answered the birthday boy who was texting him about the time they would get there. Jisung really had no idea what was coming his way. But how could he? Hyunjin, Felix, and Jeongin didn't have a clue about it. And Changbin and Chan hadn't let slip once the minor detail that Minho was indeed Hyunjin's best friend. From where Changbin was standing, the whole situation was pretty funny.

However, a part of him just wanted Minho to eventually be a way for his two friends to get along once and for all. He didn't ask much from them. Changbin was just tired of the constant nagging, and mean jokes, and screaming, and everything that came in between. And he was also tired of always being in the middle of it all.

As they finally walked towards Felix's room, Jisung was walking a bit ahead of them even if he was on crutches. Just before they got there, Chan held on to Changbin's arm and slowed him down to whisper to him: ‘Shouldn’t we tell him before?’

Changbin looked at Jisung who was still walking. He was determined to get there as fast as he could and thanks to his broken foot, it wasn’t something Changbin had to worry about. ‘Nah, it's more fun this way.’

‘Ok but this isn't about it being funny. Jisung really likes Minho and... I don't know, Bin. This feels wrong.’

‘Listen, if he and Hyunjin wouldn't be such big babies then there wouldn't be a problem. So it's on them.’

‘But we didn't tell Jisung nor Minho... Doesn't that make it our problem as well?’

Of course Changbin realized it had gone too far. What had begun as a stupid crush, had somehow turned into an obsession. But before Changbin could acknowledge his mistake, he heard at a distance someone knocking on a door. Changbin and Chan walked as fast as they could towards Jisung but when they got there it was already too late and Felix had opened the door and both him and Jisung were staring at each other in total confusion.

‘What are you doing here?’ asked Felix, frowning.

‘What are _you_ doing here?’ asked Jisung.

Felix stayed quiet for a couple of seconds looking at Jisung and then at Changbin and Chan, probably thinking it was some kind of joke. ‘Well... I-I live here.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘The fuck is Han doing here?’

And then it all happened in a matter of seconds: Hyunjin coming from behind Felix, Jisung throwing a sarcastic comment and then Minho appearing from behind Hyunjin. Jisung went quickly from being his normal self with Hyunjin to just being confused as he looked at Minho who was also confused by the whole situation. After a while, he managed to mutter a couple of words: ‘ _you're_ Han?’

Jisung stayed quiet staring at Minho, hearing the disappointment in his voice. Hyunjin turned to Minho and nodded. ‘Han Jisung, yes.’

What had once been sweet and loving eyes, turned into a dark look full of hate. Jisung just looked at Minho quietly, ignoring even how his leg was getting tired from holding up the weight of his body. Hyunjin simply sighed after a couple of seconds of silence. 

‘What are you doing here, Han?’

Minho looked away from him and Jisung knew at that moment right there that whatever there was between them was over. He didn't care even one bit about answering Hyunjin's question. All he cared about was how Minho perceived him now that he knew who he was. 

Seeing how petrified Jisung was, Chan made his way to Felix as he just shouted ‘Felix! Happy birthday!’ and hugged him tighter than Changbin or Jisung had ever seen him hug anyone before. At first, Felix was taken out back by the hug but quickly wrapped happily his arms around Chan. He had always loved hugs so he wasn't going to start questioning them now. However, that's when he felt Chan whispering in his ear.

‘Please say I asked you if he could come.’

Chan quickly pulled away and with a smile he headed into the room to sit, leaving a confused Felix behind him. 

Hyunjin stared at Felix for a while confused as to when those two had gotten close but then turned back to Jisung. ‘So? What are you doing here?’

‘I said it was okay if he came,’ said Felix, for everyone's surprise but Chan’s.

‘But you were surprised he was here…’

‘Yeah well I forgot about it but Changbin asked me the other day and I said yes…’ said Felix trying to keep up the most sincere smile on his face. He then turned back to Changbin and Jisung still standing at the door, hoping he had somehow convinced Hyunjin. ‘C'mon in. You must be tired of standing on only one leg."

Jisung accepted gladly the invitation and went into the room still confused. He sat on what he later understood was Minho's bed while Minho was sitting opposite from him, on Felix's bed, already with a beer on hand and ignoring his stare. Changbin followed Jisung after hugging Felix tightly and sat next to him. Once everyone was installed, Hyunjin pulled Felix out of the room by grabbing his hand.

‘What are you doing?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Inviting Han of all people.’

Felix shrugged his shoulders. ‘Listen, he broke his foot and he has no friends. Plus, the more the merrier.’

‘But it's _Han_.’

‘Yeah, I know… I'm sorry, Hyunjin, I really am. I'm not the biggest fan of him either but according to Changbin, he has been quite sad lately so I just… I don’t know… Wanted to make it better, I guess. But if he says _anything_ , even one little comment, I promise you: he's out of here. You're the priority.’

Hyunjin nodded slowly even though he didn't feel too great about it. Jisung was far from being his favorite person, but he didn't want him to be kicked out either. Somehow, over the last few years, they had always managed to avoid these types of situations and he couldn't understand why all of the sudden those unspoken rules had been broken. However, he now understood that he was the reason Changbin had been so worried a while before. He cared _so much_ about Changbin and if spending a night with Jisung and all his friends meant some part of the weight could be taken out of Changbin’s shoulders: he would take it gladly.

Eventually, Felix took Hyunjin's hand and led them back to the room. Hyunjin sat next to Minho, while Felix sat on the floor, next to Chan, back to his bed. After a couple of seconds of silence, Chan cleared his throat loudly which got everyone’s attention.

‘So... Who else is coming?’

‘Seungmin is on his way,’ said Hyunjin, checking his phone and then putting it back in his pocket. ‘And Jeongin should be too.’

‘Yup, he sent me a message earlier,’ said Felix, completely oblivious of the situation from the day prior. He then put his hand on Minho’s leg and looked up at him. ‘Hadn’t you invited someone as well?’

‘Really?’ Hyunjin looked at Minho surprised. ‘Who?’

Minho hated the smile on Hyunjin’s face at that moment. It was the same smile he had every time he heard about Minho getting close to another guy, was there something romantic or not. It was the smile that made sure Minho knew exactly that Hyunjin was more than happy with him being with other people. It was the smile that told him he wasn't loved as he wished he would.

But as he looked across from the room to the one person that did actually like him and could love him and he could eventually love back, all he saw now was the person that had made Hyunjin’s life impossible for years. All he saw was the person that kept on hurting who he loved the most over and over. He still didn’t even understand how the sweet and funny Jisung that he had met weeks ago was the same annoying person he had heard about for years.

‘No one special to be honest. But yeah, he canceled.’

Minho stared at Jisung as disappointment and hurt were drawn all over his face and he looked away as if he was ashamed. But Minho didn’t care. He was done caring. At least for now.

‘Oh well…’ said Felix. ‘Guess we’re eight then.’

Chan smiled slightly, ‘Seems like a good number to me.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seems like i'm incapable of writing something that isn't angsty af i'm sorry  
> still hope you liked it


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you soo much for reading!! This is getting close to 1k which is crazy to me because I thought this would die in the deep end of ao3  
> Anyway glad someone out there is enjoying it as much as I'm enjoying writing it :)

‘So... I have a question…’

Everyone turned to Seungmin at the same time. Chan and Felix were still sitting on the floor, Hyunjin and Minho were still on Felix's bed, Changbin and Jisung were on Minho's bed, and Seungmin and Jeongin were sitting on the desk chairs. Whenever they did this type of gathering, Jeongin would usually sit on one of the chairs so when he entered the room he automatically went towards one of the chairs but this time, to his annoyance, Seungmin followed him. Usually, they would move around the room as they talked and drank, but this time was different. It wasn't so much Seungmin, but more Jisung. Even though Jisung and Hyunjin were behaving, there was still a heavy atmosphere - the tension was palpable. 

‘How do you get beers and everything?’ asked Seungmin once he got everyone’s attention. ‘I mean I think we're breaking a hundred rules here and it's underage drinking, but what I really don't get is _where_ you get your stuff.’

Changbin smiled slightly. ‘Seungmin, this school is full of rich kids whose parents don't care enough about them to give them attention, so they give them money.’

Chan rolled his eyes. ‘Not everyone is like that here.’

‘Not _everyone_ but there's a lot of people here whose parents don't give a fuck for more than giving their kids money, and I'm one of them,’ Seungmin looked down uncomfortable but everyone else in the room had gotten used to the way Changbin spoke about his parents, and even Changbin didn't care enough about them to be hurt by his reality. ‘My point is that there's a lot of rich kids here who want their parents’ attention and they do dumb shit, like get drunk, do drugs and everything and anything you can imagine. So there's some kind of “trafficking” with the school nearby.’

‘Wait, what school?’ asked Seungmin, frowning.

‘There's another school not too far from here,’ explained Hyunjin. ‘You're there in like 15 minutes on foot.’

‘So you sneak out to go there?’

‘Not really, no,’ said Changbin, taking back the attention of everyone even if they knew Changbin's system perfectly. ‘It's harder for us to go there actually because this school is _way_ more strict. But their school has fewer restrictions and they can even go out every weekend if they want to and have an adult's permission. Even since before we got here there was already a certain system where you send a text to someone from the other school and you buy from them. They can go out to the city on the weekend and buy it for you. Then on Sunday night, you meet with them at a specific part of the fence that surrounds the school that no one is ever guarding, you pay and they give you the alcohol. Of course, it’s quite expensive because you pay the alcohol and a certain fee, but it’s worth it.’

‘So it's kind of like a dealer?’

‘I guess, yeah.’

‘But they don't sell drugs though,’ intervened Jisung. ‘That's why it's very hard to get weed and we try to save it the longest possible.’

Jisung stared at Changbin hoping he would get what he meant. Even though he would love to get high giving the situation, he knew it wasn't the best moment and he would enjoy it way more while being alone with Changbin - not sure he still wanted to be alone with Changbin anymore though.

However, Changbin ignored his stare and took out the weed he had in his pocket with a smile. ‘But today is a special occasion, right? It's Lix's birthday!’

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. ‘You know no one smokes here apart from you and Jisung.’

‘And me.’

Everyone turned to Jeongin as he took a gulp of his beer.

‘Well you smoke but you don't _smoke_ …’ said Hyunjin. ‘Like you don't smoke regularly.’

‘What would you know about what I do or don't do?’

‘Are we gonna have the same fight every day?’ asked Changbin, rolling his eyes.

‘I never fought with anyone,’ said Jeongin very calmly. ‘Hyunjin and Jisung were the ones fighting yesterday like they _always_ do.’

Hyunjin looked quickly at Jisung while this one tried to get a grasp on some kind of reaction from Minho but all he did was drink from his beer like he didn't care one single bit about the conversation or him.

‘Wait, so you're saying you don't want to smoke?’ asked Changbin disappointed while Felix shook his head. ‘But it's your birthday! It's a special occasion!’

‘And that's why we're doing some good all fashion underage drinking with drinking games in my room when everyone should be in theirs,’ said Felix lifting up his beer and then drinking from it. ‘Seems special enough to me.’

‘Can we at least drink something stronger then?’ asked Changbin.

‘Please,’ begged Jisung.

‘If you don't like what we're drinking, you can just go you know,’ said Hyunjin with resentment in his voice.

Felix placed his hand on Hyunjin's leg to calm him down, expecting Jisung to respond either with an insult or a sarcastic comment or _something_. But Jisung stayed quiet and took a sip of his now almost empty beer. Hyunjin frowned at Jisung's behavior but it didn’t hold his attention for long as Chan suggested a game of picolo.

Nothing really exciting or out of the ordinary happened throughout the evening. They just got drunker by the minute and laughed harder, especially once Changbin opened the vodka bottle. Jisung and Changbin were the ones that drank the most while Chan never even started with the vodka and stuck to beer just like Seungmin did. For once, like Jeongin, Jisung was quiet as all he did was look at Minho. Him and Hyunjin were sitting pretty close to each other, and Minho kept bugging him discreetly by pinching his skin. Both of them were active in the conversation, but while Hyunjin didn't show any surprising side to Jisung, Minho was way more sarcastic and funny than he had ever been with Jisung, and he hated it because it made him like him even more. And so Jisung downed drink after drink expecting to forget the fact that his two best friends had knowingly let him fall for the best friend of the guy he hated.

Around 2 a.m., when Jisung was falling asleep out of tiredness but especially drunkness, and Changbin was starting to cling a bit too much to Felix and Hyunjin, they decided it was time to wrap up the birthday party. Hyunjin was the first one to leave with Changbin, followed by Seungmin that helped Jisung get to his room. Chan thanked him as he told him he wanted to help Felix and Minho clean up everything. It’s not that Jeongin wanted to clean the room but he much less wanted to be alone with Seunming, so he stayed and helped.

‘Ok, so can someone explain to me what the fuck was Han doing here?’ asked Jeongin as Felix closed the door after Seungmin and Jisung left. 

Felix exchanged a look with Chan and sighed. ‘Changbin asked me to invite him the other day.’

‘Why? Changbin never cared to invite Han to your birthday or any gathering we've ever done with Hyunjin there for that matter.’

Felix shrugged his shoulders. ‘He's lonely and with his broken foot and everything, I guess it's worse.’

‘I guess…’ said Jeongin as he turned away to keep cleaning the room with Minho’s help.

Felix then turned to Chan who smiled at him, grateful. ‘Can I talk to you real fast?’ Chan nodded and as Felix took him by the wrist to drag him down, he turned to Minho and Jeongin: ‘We'll be right back.’

Jeongin didn't even care to look at him or confirm he had heard him, but Minho looked at them both leave the room in silence hoping Chan wouldn't give him away. Once outside, Felix let go of Chan and waited for an explanation.

‘Ok, what the fuck?’

‘I'm sorry I ruined your birthday…’ said Chan. ‘It's just... Complicated.’

‘I just don't get all the secrecy... If you wanted me to invite Han, you could've just asked me and I probably would’ve said yes,’ said Felix, trying to find an explanation for Chan's or Jisung's attitude. ‘What I don't get though is that he didn't even know it was my birthday or my room.’

Chan nodded slightly. ‘It's complicated, okay? I'm so sorry I can't tell you. If it was about me, I would but... It's not my place. I’m sorry.’

Felix stared at him in silence for a couple of seconds before he sighed and looked away. ‘Yeah, I get it. I guess it's fine... It wasn't so bad after all... He behaved.’

‘Jisung isn't as bad as he seems!’

‘I know but he hates me,’ said Felix, half-amused by how ridiculous it was that Jisung hated him.

‘He doesn't hate you. He just... Doesn't like you I guess,’ answered Chan. ‘Which if you ask me is very stupid because you're lowkey the nicest person ever. But yeah, thank you for this... I owe you one.’

Felix shrugged his shoulders. ‘It was nothing... I guess I'll just ruin your birthday back.’

Chan laughed slightly. ‘How will know when it's my birthday if I never celebrate it?’

‘Why do you never celebrate it? It's your birthday! And I know you're a libra so I know it's soon.’

‘I actually don't have a birthday.’

‘So you're saying I'll have to ruin every day of the libra season for you?’ asked Felix with a cheeky smile on his face while Chan tried to hold his laughter because after all, they were in the hallway at 2 in the morning half drunk. 

Eventually, Chan put his hand on Felix's shoulder. ‘Thank you again for what you did.’ He tapped him on the shoulder and started to walk away.

‘I'm gonna find out when it's your birthday. You know that right?’

‘Goodnight, Felix.’

Felix didn't wait more than a couple of seconds before entering his room again. Almost everything was back in place so it didn't take long for Jeongin to wish Felix a happy birthday one last time, even though it was technically not his birthday anymore, and leave the room. Felix then turned to Minho who was sitting on his bed, looking at the floor in silence, which was a weird thing to see.

‘All good?’

Minho looked up at him and nodded slightly. ‘Yeah, yeah... What did Chan and you talk about?’

‘Oh... Nothing really. He just thanked me for inviting Han.’ Minho looked down and nodded. Felix went towards his bed and sat in front of Minho. ‘What did you think of him, by the way? It was your first time meeting him after all.’

Minho shrugged his shoulders. ‘Well, nothing... He didn't speak much.’

‘Yeah... He was pretty quiet tonight. He's usually not like that though,’ said Felix getting up from the bed to start getting ready to finally sleep. ‘To be honest, I always thought you two would get along. He's kind of your type.’

Minho frowned and looked up at Felix. ‘How is the guy who bullied my best friend for the past three years ever going to be my type?’

‘Don't get me wrong, I hate how he treats Hyunjin as well and the guy hates me for no reason but... If things were different, I think you two could hit it off.’

Minho just looked down at the ground again but Felix didn't notice his awkward attitude. He was too tired and had drunk too much to notice how out of character Minho was acting or to connect that attitude with how Chan, Jisung, and Changbin had acted earlier.

Even though until now it had been a cold month of September, the day after Felix's birthday the sun was shining and Changbin was able to enjoy what felt like the last drop of summer. He tried to fight his hangover as much as possible but all the alcohol he had drunk the night before still had an impact on him. So instead of going to the cafeteria for launch, where all the smells would make him nauseous and all the noise would be too hard for him to handle, he had gone to a bench in the park around the school and sat there, with his eyes closed, as he waited for Hyunjin to come with some food he could’ve manage to sneak out of the cafeteria.

Changbin thought he would have a solid half an hour of peace, but unfortunately for him, Hyunjin got out of the cafeteria way sooner than he had expected. And it was technically all his fault.

‘What the fuck did you do to Han?’

Changbin opened his eyes as Hyunjin sat next to him and handed him some bread.

‘That's all you could get for me?’

‘Yes, don't complain,’ said Hyunjin as he put his head on Changbin's shoulder and cuddled up to him closing his eyes. ‘Why is Han so mad at you?’

‘He's hangover. He'll get over it,’ said Changbin as he started to eat his bread.

‘Not that I actually care but he seemed very pissed, and most importantly: he took away Seungmin from me.’

‘Is that why you're out so early?’

Hyunjin nodded. ‘I was supposed to have lunch with Seungmin but Han happened, and there wasn't any place to sit close to Minho and Felix so I ended up eating on my own.’

Changbin nodded as he ate his bread. Whenever he got a hangover, he wasn't so good at eating anything - everything made him nauseous - but he knew he needed it to feel better.

‘He's getting in the way of my plan of dating Seungmin,’ said Hyunjin with a little smile on his lips. He then moved away from Changbin to look properly at him. ‘Was that your plan all along? To make him pissed at you so he wouldn't leave Seungmin alone?’

Changbin laughed slightly. ‘Not at all but seems like it all worked out to my advantage.’

‘I hate you, hope you know that. What if they end up getting together?’

Changbin shrugged his shoulders. ‘You never know what could happen.’

Hyunjin punched Changbin slightly while his friend laughed. ‘Don't say that! You're supposed to say they're never _ever_ gonna get together!’ He then cuddled back to Changbin, and that's when both of them noticed Jeongin coming up to them, seemingly not so happy.

‘Seo Changbin.’

Changbin looked up at him with the brightest smile. ‘Yes, Innie?’

‘Whatever you did to Han: fix it,’ said Jeongin as he crossed his arms on his chest. ‘He's spamming the fuck out of my phone because he's mad at you and now he's talking about staying the night in my room, and Seungmin doesn't see a problem with that. So  _ fix _ _it_.’

‘See how you're ruining everything for everyone?’ said Hyunjin as he hugged him tighter and let his head rest on his shoulder.

Changbin rolled his eyes. ‘Listen... He'll get over it, okay?’

‘Wait, he's also pissed at Chan?’ asked Hyunjin, frowning. ‘How can anyone be pissed at Chan?’

‘I thought you only cared about not spending time with Seungmin and not about Han.’

Hyunjin didn't care to answer Changbin's comment and closed his eyes as he was too tired to even argue. But after a few minutes of a discussion between Changbin and Jeongin he did not care to listen to, he was suddenly taken back to reality when he heard Seungmin's voice. He opened his eyes quickly and was glad to not see Jisung anywhere around. He automatically moved away from Changbin and smiled at Seungmin while Jeongin sat next to him on the bench.

‘Sorry I couldn't have lunch with you, Hyunjin,’ said Seungmin with a sincere look of regret.

Hyunjin shrugged his shoulders and smiled at him to reassure him. ‘It's okay, don’t worry about it. We can eat together another time.’

Seungmin smiled back at him. Meanwhile, Changbin was typing messages on his phone and Jeongin was taking a book and a notebook as well as a pencil out of his backpack.

‘What are you doing?’ asked Hyunjin, turning to Jeongin.

‘Math homework. I didn't have time to do it last night because of your little party.’ 

‘You didn't have to come if you didn't want to.’

But Jeongin didn't answer as he started to write something in his notebook.

‘Did Jisung tell you anything?’ asked Changbin suddenly to Seungmin. His new friend quickly shook his head.

‘He just said he was pissed at you and Chan, and then when we left the cafeteria Chan went to talk to him.’

Changbin nodded slightly.

‘Seriously, what did you do?’ asked Hyunjin, looking at Changbin almost amused. ‘Han never gets mad at you, you’re usually the one to get mad at him.’

‘Yeah, well I think I fucked up real bad this time... It'll be fine though.’ Changbin then got up from the bench and put his backpack on his shoulder. ‘I have to go look for a book at the library. You coming?’

Hyunjin shook his head. ‘Nah, I'm staying.’

‘Ok, let me rephrase that. I have to go look for a book at the library. You're coming,’ said Changbin before he grabbed Hyunjin's hand and forced him to get up. Seungmin watched them walk away as Changbin kept dragging Hyunjin who wouldn’t stop complaining, and eventually took Hyunjin's place on the bench.

‘What are you doing?’

Seungmin turned to Jeongin who was staring at him.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Why didn't you go with them?’

‘Well... I didn’t want to leave you alone.’

Jeongin frowned slightly and then looked back down at his book. ‘I don't mind being alone.’

‘No one _really_ minds being alone if you think about it but... It's always nice to have someone around.’

Jeongin didn't take the eyes off of his math problem. ‘I rather be alone.’

‘Well, you're not.’

Jeongin looked up at Seungmin who was just looking around as if what he had said had no weight at all. Jeongin sighed and looked back at his textbook feeling the headache growing stronger by the minute. Jeongin wasn't exactly a bad student, but he wasn't the best. He had never been someone whose good grades came naturally to him - he needed to work for them and that's something he didn't do. 

‘Need help?’ asked Seungmin after seeing him erase yet another wrong result.

‘No, I'm okay. I don't need to be babied.’

‘No one is babying you. I'm just offering my help.’

‘Well, I don't need it.’

Seungmin stayed quiet for a couple of seconds looking at Jeongin staring at his notebook. ‘You know it's okay to not always be able to do things on your own, right?’

But Jeongin didn't answer, instead, he erased again the result he had gotten. Seungmin was about to say that it was finally the right one, but he decided to just shut up. After a couple of minutes of complete silence where all Seungmin could hear was people around them and Jeongin cursing at his own notebook, he decided to ask the question that had been on his mind for way too long.

‘Can I ask you something?’

Jeongin didn't stop staring at his notebook. ‘That's already a question.’

‘Is there something between Changbin and Hyunjin?’

Jeongin looked up frowning at Seungmin and shook his head. ‘No, why?’

Seungmin shrugged his shoulders. ‘I don't know... They’re always so... Touchy and cuddly with each other, and they seem very close, and... It's hard for me to understand whatever friendship or relationship they have I guess. So I wanted to ask you if there was anything between them or if anything had ever happened. But then again, Changbin is very close to Felix and you as well so... I don't know, maybe it's just my mind playing games.’

Deep down, Jeongin wanted to tell Seungmin the truth. And the truth was that no, his mind wasn't playing games, but the truth also was that there wasn't anything between Hyunjin and Changbin. From the very beginning, those two had gotten very close very fast and they had such an ambiguous friendship that at first, everyone thought they were in love and would eventually end up together at some point. However, it never happened, and it was clear that for as much as they looked like they were in love, they just weren't. Jeongin didn't doubt one second that if they were, they would already be together. As far as he knew they had kissed about a million times, for games, at drunk nights, or just for the sake of it, and he wouldn't be surprised if it had gotten to more. But at the end of the day, Hyunjin and Changbin were strictly just friends. 

Of course, to explain that to Seungmin would be a bit too much and would maybe drive him away from Hyunjin, and at the end of the day, it was all about the bet. So Jeongin opted for the summarized version of all of that.

‘Nah, they're weird but they're just friends.’

Seungmin nodded slightly and Jeongin looked back at his notebook, still not understanding a single thing. If he had taken the time to really concentrate, or if he had paid attention during class, then maybe he would be able to do it all by himself, but he was struggling and he was too proud to ask help from someone he had already rejected less than 15 minutes ago.

‘There's also something else I wanted to ask you…’

Jeongin sighed annoyed and looked back up at Seungmin.

‘I know it's hard to go out of here but if I wanted to, how would I do it?’

Jeongin frowned. ‘To go where?’

‘Just go out, for the day.’

‘Well…’ Jeongin dropped the pencil, seemingly giving up on homework. ‘If you're a minor you need your parents' or tutor's permission, but either way, you need to give that note like a week before or something.’

‘I know about that but, what if I want to go out of the school without people noticing?’

Jeongin stared at Seungmin for a couple of seconds, just blinking and trying to process what he had just said. Maybe he did have Seungmin wrong after all. Maybe he wasn't the neat and rule-follower that he had thought.

‘W-What makes you think I know anything about that?’

Seungmin shrugged his shoulders. ‘Well, you're always outside aren't you?’ Jeongin looked down and bit his lips as he had hoped Seungmin hadn’t noticed. ‘Listen... If you get me out next Thursday, no questions asked, I'll do whatever homework you need for the next week.’

Jeongin looked down at his messy paper and the math problem, then back at Seungmin. ‘Deal.’

For the last few days, there was only one thing on Jisung's mind: Lee Minho. Not that it changed anything from the weeks before, but it was different now. Minho was the only thing in his mind but it was what brought him more anxiety. He wanted to see him, to explain, to talk. However, with his broken foot and his crutches, it's not like he could run to his class after he ended his, it's not like he could go around school all day looking for him, and it's not like he could go to his room either, because chances were that either Felix or Hyunjin would be there. He did look around but it came to a point where he was pretty sure that Minho was avoiding him. 

By Thursday afternoon, Jisung had lost any hope of talking to Minho ever again or even seeing him again. But as he left the library after finishing the draft for an essay due next week, he saw Minho with his eyes staring at his phone walking towards him, or better said the library he had just left. Jisung hurried his pace even more when he noticed Minho was indeed on his own. No Felix nor Hyunjin in sight - this was his moment.

‘Minho.’

Minho looked up from his phone as Jisung did the last couple of steps before standing in front of him. When Minho finally realized who had called him, all he did was sigh and roll his eyes.

‘I don't wanna talk, Jisung.’

‘But we need to-’

‘No, we don't. You bullied my best friend for  _ years _ and decided to not tell me about it. There's nothing to say.’

Jisung shook his head energetically. ‘I didn't know you were his best friend, Minho.’

Minho rolled his eyes. ‘Are you kidding? How the fuck couldn’t you know? You're best friends with Changbin and Chan, and Changbin is roommates with Hyunjin.’

‘Well, have you ever met them?’ said Jisung. ‘Listen... They didn't tell me and I didn't know, there was  _ no way _ I could know.’

‘So you didn't use me to piss off Hyunjin?’

‘What? No! Of course not!’ said Jisung loudly. ‘That's what you thought?’

Minho shrugged his shoulders. ‘Well, what did you want me to think?’

Jisung nodded slightly. ‘I get it... It just was very confusing for everyone but if you wanna blame someone: blame Changbin.’

‘Fair enough, and I'm glad we got that straight but that doesn't fix everything…’ said Minho biting slightly his lower lip. ‘You still bullied my best friend for the past three years.’

‘I wouldn't say “ _ bullied _ ”,’ said Jisung rolling his eyes. ‘Hyunjin is such a drama queen. You should know that better than anyone, and we've spoken enough for you to know that I'm far from whatever picture Hyunjin made of me for you.’

Minho shook his head. ‘I just... I don't even know who you are. God, that sounds so dramatic and pathetic but... I mean, yes, when we were together after the dance it was great and everything, but then I find out you're the person that has been mocking my best friend and hating on my other best friend. So which one is it? You know what I mean? I thought you were such a sweet guy but then, my friends have such a different point of view of you and they've known you for longer than I have.’

‘I swear to you, Minho, I'm not…’ Jisung sighed. ‘Yes, I've had some shitty behaviors but I'm not as bad... I'm not a bad person. I just cannot stand Hyunjin.’

Minho smiled slightly. But it wasn't a happy smile, it was a smile full of nostalgia. ‘And how can it ever work if you can't stand the person that matters the most to me?’

Jisung opened his mouth but not a single word came out of it, because even though he really liked Minho and wanted to see where it would lead them, at the end of the day, he was right. It wasn't even worth trying if he had such a bad relationship with Hyunjin.

‘I-I can try…’

But as he saw Hyunjin walking in on the other side of the corridor, he knew that for as much as he tried, him and Hyunjin would probably never get along and it wasn't fair to put Minho in the middle of that. Minho was surprised when Hyunjin put his hand on Minho's shoulder.

‘What's going on?’

‘Nothing... Han couldn't find the jacket he had on the other day and he was just asking me if it was in my room,’ said Minho with a smile dedicated to Hyunjin.

Jisung felt his heart aching. That's exactly when he realized that Minho wasn’t just any other crush anymore. Now Minho didn’t see him as any other person would - he saw him through Hyunjin’s eyes. Because before that instant Minho had never called him Han, and that’s how Hyunjin called him, how Felix did and Jeongin from time to time, but not Minho.

Hyunjin nodded slightly, not really caring about it. ‘Oh ok... Should we go?’

Minho nodded, still with a smile on his face. ‘Sorry for the jacket, Han.’

‘Yeah…’ whispered Jisung as Minho and Hyunjin started to walk towards the library together. ‘Me too.’


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has taken so long, I just kept erasing what I wrote and ugh anyway here's the chapter and hopefully the next one won't take so long  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Every Saturday went about the same way for Chan, as did all the other days in his week. Everything was perfectly planned so he could do everything he needed to. Around the end of the year, it always went sideways due to the amount of work they asked of them and he usually slept less, but it wasn't the case yet. Jisung and Changbin always nagged him and made fun of him for his strict routine, and they complained about not hanging out as much with him as they wished - but Chan still managed to see them somehow. However, now that one wasn't talking to the other, it was harder for Chan to go about his day like he normally would when Jisung was all by himself.

When he got up at 7 a.m for his morning session at the gym, Jisung was still asleep, which was no surprise. He found Jisung's computer still playing an anime, meaning Jisung had fallen asleep in front of it. Chan closed the computer carefully and put it quietly on Jisung's desk before he left for the gym. He did what he did every Saturday morning: gym, shower, breakfast, some studying at the library... By 11 a.m, Chan still expected Jisung to be asleep, but instead, he found him awake and, well, watching once again his anime. 

‘What are you gonna do today?’

Jisung barely looked up at him, just shrugged his shoulders.

‘Aren't you gonna hang out with Seungmin again?’

Jisung shook his head. ‘Nah, I'm giving him a break from me, poor guy.’

‘I thought you were gonna teach him to play guitar.’

‘Another time…,’ said Jisung with barely any emotion in his voice. ‘Plus, I think he's spending the day with Hyunjin.’

‘Are they dating yet?’

Jisung shook his head. ‘Nop. But Seungmin likes him and well, Hyunjin likes him back. I think I've been on their way a bit this week because I've been so much with Seungmin but yeah... I guess it's a matter of time.’

‘So you're gonna lose the bet?’ asked Chan, trying to get any type of reaction from Jisung other than indifference, as his eyes were still locked on his screen.

‘Probably... I don't really care, to be honest. It's a stupid bet.’

Chan frowned as he sat down on his bed, looking at Jisung. Staying in bed watching anime? Normal. Saying and thinking self-deprecating things? Normal for Jisung, even though it shouldn't be. But for him not to care about a bet? Not normal. At all.

‘Are you okay, Jisung?’

Of course he wasn't, but Chan needed him to open up to someone - if it wasn't him, he was okay with it, but Jisung needed to talk. After Chan apologized and explained to him how the situation had gotten out of hand, Jisung forgave him and their friendship went back to normal. However, the times Chan tried to bring up Minho or Changbin, Jisung just brushed it off, not showing any sign of sadness or anger. 

‘I am,’ said Jisung as he paused his episode and looked at Chan for the first time in the conversation. ‘I'm actually very okay.’

‘You're sure? You seem off.’

‘I swear I am. Actually, I'm better than I've been in a long while, you know why?’

‘W-Why?’

‘Because I've decided to give up on love.’

There it was. A lie Chan had heard from him way too many times, a lie Jisung always said whenever he got hurt by yet another guy. It was the lie he told everyone and it allowed him to pretend he didn't care about the guys that treated him like shit. But he cared, he hurt - Chan knew it way too well.

‘And this time I mean it. Love and guys and all that shit, don't do anything good for you. I've been laughing at you this whole time but to be honest, you've been right since the beginning.’

Chan frowned, confused. ‘What do I have to do with anything?’

‘You don't care about relationships and all that bullshit. It doesn't even enter your radar. You have a project and a routine and a purpose, and you're happy, aren't you?’

‘W-Well, yeah.’

‘So I just need to find a real purpose and that’s it. Fuck love.’

‘You mean, fuck Minho?’

Jisung nodded. This time it was different. Chan could feel it. He wasn't sure if it was because Jisung really meant it this time or if it was because he had gotten even more hurt than before - maybe both. But what Chan truly didn't understand was: what was so different about Minho? They only saw each other a couple of times and nothing had ever happened, right? Unless Jisung was hiding something from him. 

Chan sighed knowing the conversation wouldn't go any further. ‘Well, love or not, I don't think it's good for your leg to stay laying down so long. You should go out or something.’

‘No, no, you got it wrong. See, it's actually good for me to not walk because, in a month or so, they'll remove the cast and then one of my legs will be weak as fuck compared to the other and it will take a longer time to recover. But, if I just don't use either they'll be in the same state,’ said Jisung a dead-serious tone, and if Chan didn’t know him, he would believe him. Instead, Chan just rolled his eyes laughing. ‘It's true. I looked it up.’

‘You're an idiot, you know that right?’ Jisung laughed slightly as Chan walked away towards his closet. ‘I'm gonna go to the pool to train, wanna come with?’

‘I can't swim.’

‘You can stay in the stands.’

‘Why would I do that?’

‘I mean giving up on love doesn't mean giving up on looking respectfully at guys' abs, does it?’

Jisung stayed silent looking at Chan and frowned. ‘I've seen your abs a hundred times, it gets boring after a while.’

Chan threw the shirt he had on hand to Jisung who just laughed trying to avoid it. ‘I'm not talking about myself, you idiot. There's gonna be other guys training. The pool isn’t open all day if you didn’t know.’

‘Now, how in the hell would I know that?’ said Jisung, throwing the shirt back to Chan.

‘Forgive me for thinking you listened to me when I talked,’ said Chan pretending to be offended, to which Jisung just laughed.

‘I do listen to you!’

‘Yeah, sure.’

‘I just don't give a shit about swimming and whatever. Plus, most of the times you talk about that, you mention Hyunjin so I tend to block that out. Sorry, it’s automatic.’ Chan rolled his eyes with a smile on his lips. ‘But anyway, if there are other guys, why not,’ said Jisung as he closed his computer. As he was about to get up from bed, they both heard a knocking sound at the door. ‘Who's that?’

Chan shrugged his shoulders. ‘No idea.’ Chan walked to the door and before opening it, he turned around a bit. ‘Oh and by the way, my abs never get boring.’

Jisung laughed slightly as Chan opened the door but Jisung's happiness disappeared as he heard a way too familiar voice:

‘Can I come in?’

Jisung heard the door close and the next thing he knew, Changbin was in front of me while Chan sat on his bed and stared at the two best friends from afar. 

‘Hey, can we talk?’

Jisung sighed. ‘To be honest, no.’ Jisung saw panic going through Changbin's eyes which he really enjoyed and it was enough for him to take revenge. ‘There's nothing to say. I get that it got out of hand and you said you were sorry like a hundred times so it's whatever.’

Changbin frowned, completely confused, and turned to Chan to find any answer, but his best friend just shrugged his shoulders not having any either. ‘So we're good?’

‘I don't see why not.’

Changbin's stare was full of confusion, scared to be falling into a trap, but it really wasn't. Jisung realized that they didn't mean wrong in any way, that it was funny in some way how he had hated Hyunjin for so long and had fallen for his best friend. Jisung also realized that Changbin and Chan didn't know even half of it. They didn't know about what had happened after the dance, nor the kiss behind the stands of the soccer field. To them, Jisung had just a stupid crush on someone he had barely talked to, and he knew them enough to know that if he had told them the whole truth they wouldn’t have put him in that situation. And for that same reason, Jisung didn't see what good would come if he told them the truth now, they were already regretful enough and whatever Jisung had Minho was more than over.

Or maybe Jisung just didn’t have the confidence to demand anything from anyone, or he didn’t think he deserved any better and always settled for the bare minimum. Still, they had apologized and Jisung knew his best friends enough to know they really meant it, and that was enough for him.

‘We were about to go to the pool, wanna come?’ said Jisung as he finally managed to get up from his bed.

‘Why in the hell are you going to the pool?’ asked Changbin, getting more confused by the second. ‘You're weird today.’

‘He decided to give up on love,’ said Chan getting up from his bed as well.

‘But not abs,’ added Jisung smiling.

Changbin laughed slightly. ‘Ok, that sounds more like you.’

‘So you coming?’

‘Sure. Sounds like fun.’

‘I swear to god, you guys are happy with so little,’ said Chan amused.

‘Us gays are happy with abs, and that ain’t little,’ said Jisung which made Chan laugh. 

And Changbin thought that would be the end of it. 

He already had plans with Felix but canceled on him knowing he wouldn't really mind. After all, maybe it was better if for a while the two trios stayed each on their side. Chan trained for about an hour, where Changbin and Jisung waited in the stands commenting and laughing around. Jisung told him about Seungmin, and how he was one of the nicest people he had ever met and he had even planned to teach him how to play guitar. He didn't mention Minho or Hyunjin, and Changbin didn't dare to ask about it either. He was just glad to have his friend back - even though a part of him was sad about the fact that not even Lee Minho had managed to bring one of the two people he loved the most together.

**CHAN** **  
**_Hope everything is okay let me know if you need anything_ _  
_ _I'll give you my notes later ofc_

Jeongin looked at the notification on his screen and sighed as he slid it through the screen so he wouldn't have to see it again. If Chan texted him, it meant Minho or Felix wouldn't take too long to do it as well, and he just hoped they wouldn't tell Hyunjin.

‘All good?’

Jeongin looked up at Seungmin who was next to him in line at Starbucks and nodded slightly as he put the phone back in his back pocket. His intention hadn't been to skip - all he was supposed to do was to bring Seungmin to the place where it is easier to go over the fence and not get caught. But when Seungmin asked him to come with him as he didn't know the city _at all_ , Jeongin couldn't say no. It wasn't about Seungmin, though, it had absolutely nothing to do with Seungmin - Jeongin just didn't like going to class too much so any chance he got to skip, he took it. Always. And Monday had stressed him enough to make him want to skip Thursday.

‘It’s just Chan texting me,’ said Jeongin, looking straight forward as they moved a bit on the line. He wondered how he would cover the drink or anything at this point. He had little money on him as he hadn't planned to skip, and he just had enough to get himself an acceptable lunch. He didn't like using his card because he knew his parents always looked at what he was buying and he hated being monitored. It was normal of them to do it, but still, that's why he always kept it in his room and only took it out to get cash from an ATM. As he looked at the price for the iced americano he would usually order and noticed it was more than half of what he had, he decided he could do without it. Better to eat than to have coffee, right? At least that's what everyone said.

They got to the cashier and Seungmin made his order, and then turned to Jeongin. ‘What do you want?’

Jeongin opened his mouth a bit and shook his head. ‘Nothing, I'm good.’

‘I'm buying. What do you want?’

‘You don-’

‘Jeongin.’

As he felt the eyes of the cashier pressuring him, he just mumbled the words “iced americano” loud enough for it to be heard. They walked away from the cashier and Jeongin looked up at Seungmin. ‘I'll pay you back when we get back to school.’

‘No, you don't have to.’

‘Yes, I do. Stop bab-’

‘I'm not babying you. Stop saying that,’ said Seungmin, with a serious tone Jeongin had never heard before coming from him. ‘I made you skip class so the least I can do is buy you coffee. I’m not babying you, I'm just trying to be nice. There’s a difference.’

Jeongin stared at him for a couple of seconds but Seungmin remained unbothered as he put the receipt in his back pocket. After they got their drink, they sat at a table and stayed there silent for a while. Seungmin tried to make conversation a couple of times, but every time, Jeongin would shut him down with dry and short answers. It wasn't something he actively wanted to do, especially to someone who just bought him ice americano, but it had become a habit of his and he didn't mind it at all. Better not say enough than to say too much. Or at least that's what Jeongin thought.

They spend the rest of the day walking around the city, not having any precise destination. Seungmin asked Jeongin to show him “cool places”, so that's what Jeongin did. He showed him the old bookstore not too far from Starbucks, and Seungmin even agreed to go to the comic store stating he was interested, but Jeongin doubted he actually was. Jeongin showed him the cheaper places and the places it was good to eat at, the bars, the stores,... Everything someone new would need to know. It wasn't a big city either so after a couple of hours, there was nothing really left to show. The place was barely a city. After they ate at a place Jeongin liked and wasn't too expensive, Jeongin showed him the park and the place where he would usually stay for hours.

They stayed quiet for a while as both of them were exhausted from all the walking. Jeongin didn't mind silence and nor did Seungmin apparently, because that's how they spend most of the day. Maybe Jeongin was starting to see what Jisung and Hyunjin saw in Seungmin. That was until he started talking again.

‘So... Are you from here?’ Jeongin turned to Seungmin. ‘I mean, does your family live here?’

Jeongin shook his head. ‘No, but not too far from here. It's a city kind of the same size as this one.’

‘Can I ask why did you come here then?’ asked Seungmin, looking carefully at Jeongin, as if he was calculating every single word according to his immediate reaction to make sure he wasn't crossing the line. Jeongin was uncomfortable with how analyzed he was being, but at the same time, he didn't mind. It was kind of unique how Seungmin took the time to see what made him uncomfortable and what didn't.

Jeongin shrugged his shoulders. ‘Hyunjin's plan, or at least his parent’s plan, was always to come here, and his parents are friends with mine and they had this whole idea of us staying together until college so we could have each other’s back and yeah... That's how I ended up here.’

‘So if it wasn't for Hyunjin you wouldn't be here?’

In every way possible, the answer to that question was _no_. Jeongin shook his head. ‘I would probably be in a public high school back in my city which I don't think would be that bad.’

‘You don't like it here?’

Jeongin didn't answer. He didn't want to, because it wasn't a simple question for him. It had never been. Even after the first year, when he told his dad he felt lonely most of the time, his dad told him that if it was that bad he could always transfer but Jeongin said no. Jeongin didn't like it, but at the end of the day, he wouldn't have it any other way. The question was, did he felt like that because it was where he was meant to be or because he was too afraid to leave behind all he had ever known? Did he really need Hyunjin or was he too afraid to try and be apart from him even though it wasn’t the same anymore? Jeongin could deal with whatever their “friendship” had turned into, but he wasn’t sure he could deal with not having him at all in his life. And that wasn’t something he would tell Seungmin of all people. The question wasn’t about the school at the end of the day. The question was about Hyunjin. How do you let go of all you’ve ever known?

‘Why are _you_ here?’ asked Jeongin while he played with the grass, not even looking at him and hoping Seungmin would accept his lack of answer to his question.

‘It's a good school,’ said Seungmin.

‘Well, no shit,’ said Jeongin ironically but Seungmin didn’t seem to care about it. ‘Why now though?" 

‘Oh... It's complicated. I'll tell you another time, I guess,’ said Seungmin, looking down.

And that was the first time Jeongin saw him uncomfortable about anything. He almost seemed sad, which puzzled Jeongin. It was seeing a crack in a museum painting. So he let it go. He had no business asking someone something they didn't want to be asked. He was the first one to understand.

‘Why is everyone else here either way? Apart from Changbin, of course,’ said Seungmin referring to the conversation they had at Felix's birthday.

‘Changbin, Han, and Chan are actually from here. They went to a middle school that's very elitist as well, not too far from this park,’ said Jeongin. ‘Chan does come from a family with a lot of money but he came here mostly because, if you didn’t know yet, he has his whole life planned out and he knows exactly what college is gonna get into, and it's one of the best in the country.’

‘So going here helps him get there.’

Jeongin nodded. ‘As for Han, I don't think he wanted to come here, to be honest. But then his parents moved to Malaysia and he didn't want to leave, and well Changbin and Chan were already going here, so it just made sense. As for Minho and Felix, I'm not really sure how they ended up here. Minho is from the other side of the country and Felix is from Australia.’

‘Wait so…’ Seungmin took a pause as he tried to piece everything together. ‘Chan, Jisung, and Changbin know each other from middle school, you and Hyunjin know each other from childhood, and then everyone met in high school. So Hyunjin didn't know Minho and Felix from before?’

Jeongin shook his head. ‘I thought you would've asked Hyunjin all of this.’

Seungmin shrugged his shoulders. ‘He doesn't talk that much about his friends when we’re the two of us. Well, apart from Changbin but I guess that's normal as they live together.’

 _Sure, it's very normal to talk all the time about your roommate who you make out with 24/7._

‘I think it's also because I know Changbin and I don't really know Minho and Felix all that well. I've only talked to them a couple of times and between you and me, I don't think Minho likes me that much.’

 _I wonder why._ ‘It's Minho, it takes him a while to warm up to people.’

And Jeongin wasn't lying in any way, but he knew all too well that Minho would probably never like Seungmin. At least not until Seungmin stopped being Hyunjin's love interest. And Seungmin wasn’t to be blamed for that. After all, Minho was the one that decided to never say anything and keep it all for himself - and Jeongin was the last to be in the place to criticize him about it.

After a couple of minutes of silence where they both played with the grass, Jeongin looked up at Seungmin, incapable to take off his mind the one question that had been on his mind since last week, from the moment Seungmin asked him to skip. _Why?_

At first, he thought he might want to see someone in the city, but clearly, he had no plans whatsoever. Seungmin had no place to be apart from school, so why? Seungmin was a good student and he never missed a class, he never got up late, he did all his homework ahead of time. Seungmin was the perfect student. So why would he want to skip to do nothing in particular? Why _today_?

But Jeongin didn’t say anything. They just sat there, mostly in silence, playing the grass, respecting the fact that Seungmin told him “no question asked”. Sometimes Seungmin would start a meaningless conversation. Jeongin didn’t need much more. If he looked back at the day, it had been a good day. He could almost say it had been a happy day. He was almost grateful for it. Almost grateful for Seungmin. But he wouldn’t say that either.

‘This might be the stupidest idea you've ever had,’ said Minho as he followed Felix down the stairs, next to Hyunjin. ‘And I don't even understand _why_ we're doing this.’

Felix was that type of person that cared, that truly deeply  _ cared _ , even if it was about people that weren't that important in his life. He also really cared about what he said and tried to keep every promise. Maybe that's why he was so set on finding out Chan's birthday and also because he knew he was running out of time.

Now, this wasn't his plan A, far from it. He had asked Changbin and Jeongin who were closer to Chan than he was and even went to Jisung, but no one had the answer, or no one wanted to give it to him. How much could someone hide their birthday from other people? Felix was pretty sure that Changbin and Jisung knew, but they didn't want to tell him because Chan didn't want people to know - and Felix thought that was too sad to let him be. 

Again: he cared.

Some people may think he was doing too much for it to be just a birthday, like Minho and Hyunjin, but Felix just wanted to make it better for Chan. There had to be a reason why he hated his birthday and if he could make that day just a little bit better for him, then he would try everything.

‘So are we really breaking into the principal's office just for a  _ birthday _ ?’ asked Minho, crossing his arms as they arrived outside of administration.

‘I still think that torturing Changbin until he tells us is a better idea,’ said Hyunjin shrugging his shoulders. ‘Or Han. That can be fun.’

‘We're not torturing anyone, Hyunjin,’ said Felix with a serious tone. ‘We’re trying to make someone happy here, not torture his friends.’

‘Not even Han?’ said Hyunjin, pouting, as a joke, to which Felix just rolled his eyes.

‘We're not breaking into anything, we're just going into the archives room and looking at a file. Nothing wrong with that,’ said Felix. ‘The room doesn't even have a lock and all we need to do is distract the secretary.’

‘Students aren't supposed to read that stuff,’ said Minho. ‘We could get expelled, you know?’

‘Well you could get expelled every time you sneak out in the middle of the night to go sleep with Hyunjin and I don't say anything, do I?’ Felix watched Minho's ears turn red to the point he thought he would explode at any point. Hyunjin on the other hand barely reacted to the comment. ‘We're going in, finding Chan's file, looking at his birthday and that's it.’

‘Sounds kind of stalkery for just a birthday,’ said Hyunjin, putting his hands on his pockets. ‘When Chan asks you how did you know, what will you tell him?"

‘Easy, I'll tell him Han gave him away.’

‘Ok, yeah, I like this plan. Best plan ever,’ said Hyunjin cheerfully as Felix laughed slightly.

‘So you really go out in life and pin everything on Ji- Han?’ said Minho hoping neither of his friends noticed him slipping. Thankfully, none of them realized, or they hid it, because Hyunjin just nodded energetically proud of himself. 

The plan was easy: Felix would distract the secretary long enough for Minho and Hyunjin to get in the archives room and they would just look at Chan's file. Simple and easy. Minho and Hyunjin complained for at least 10 minutes about them being the ones that needed to go into the room when it was Felix's thing and he was the only one that wasn't actually putting himself in danger. But Felix was right and they both knew it, him going to talk to the secretary was less weird than either of them.

So that's what they did, Minho and Hyunjin waited outside and waited for Felix to text them the office was empty. Once he did, they quickly got into the room and then all they needed to do was find the file. The school had hundreds and even thousands of files, for every student that had ever set their foot on the school. Minho had always been curious about what you could find in those files. After all, it was an old private school with mostly rich people, and that in the TV shows usually meant secrets and mysteries. But Hyunjin didn't think a single second about that and started looking for the file.

They were filed by year, then it was alphabetical. So actually, finding Chan's file was way easier than they had thought. If something their school did right was keep things straight. Minho quickly opened the file and whispered the date to Hyunjin so he could text it to Felix. It was still incredible to him that they were doing all of this just because of a birthday But Felix was right: he had covered for them so many times, whether it was drugs or alcohol, or cheating on exams, or sleeping in each other's rooms, or  _ anything _ . Minho and Hyunjin weren't exactly the perfect rule followers. Felix had broken a couple of rules himself as well, but not nearly as many as Hyunjin and Minho, and most of the rules he had broken were because he was covering for them. Hyunjin and Minho owed him way more than just sneaking into a room to find out Chan's birthday, for all the times he had covered for them and for so much more - yet Felix never asked for anything. It was quite incredible the way the only times Felix asked them to do anything it wasn't even for him, but rather for people around him. Exhibit A: he wanted to cheer up Chan on a day he didn’t like.

‘And now we wait for Felix to text us,’ said Hyunjin as he texted the date given by Minho.

His best friend just stared at the files in front of him, and even the one he still held in his hands. Everything you could know about someone's past was in those files. And yeah, sure, Minho had known these people for years but there were still things that he didn't know. Even more tempting was Jisung's file.

‘Don't.’ Minho turned to Hyunjin and blinked confused. ‘I know you, Minho, but we came here for a birthday date, not a deep dark secret.’

Hyunjin took Chan's file out of Minho's hands and put it back on the shelf while Minho rolled his eyes. ‘We’re here already aren’t we? Aren't you at least one bit curious? We can look at  _ whatever _ file we want and no one will ever know.’

Hyunjin shook his head. ‘It's not right. You were the first one to say students aren’t allowed to look at these!’

‘It's not like it’s a criminal record.’

‘Still.’

‘Not even Seungmin?’

In the past, they had spent hours stalking together Hyunjin's crushes on every social media imaginable to the point Hyunjin knew everything about them even before talking to them, so Minho expected Seungmin to be his weakness. However, Hyunjin didn't even blink and shook his head.

‘Whatever is in Seungmin's file, if he wants to tell me, he will in his own timing,’ said Hyunjin as he stared at Minho who was simply confused. ‘I told you he was different.’

Ah yes. Minho forgot about that for a second. Seungmin was  _ different _ . Seungmin was _special_. Seungmin was  _ perfect _ . Seungmin was everything Hyunjin wanted and needed, and more. But what if he wasn't? What if there was something in his file that would show Hyunjin otherwise? Realistically, they knew nothing about the guy, so maybe he had a dark past and Hyunjin was in danger. Maybe Seungmin was just putting on a facade. And therefore, it was Minho's place to protect Hyunjin, as his best friend. It on-

The door opened from outside. It didn't take them too long to figure out it wasn't Felix. Hyunjin quickly grabbed Minho's hand and dragged him to the end of the row and they both stood there, backs against the bookshelf, barely breathing as the footsteps got closer by the second. Hyunjin had his eyes closed out of fear and didn't dare to let go of Minho's hand, scared to make some kind of noise. Instead, Minho just looked at Hyunjin in silence. Seen from the outside it would've seemed like they were living two different scenarios. One was in the middle of an action film and if he was discovered he would be killed, and the other one, well, it seemed more like a scene right out of a sitcom.

Thankfully the people that had entered the room didn't notice them, as they stood where the two best friends had been standing seconds before. While Hyunjin was too busy trying to hold his breath, Minho was listening carefully.

‘What was the name of the two kids already?’ 

That was the secretary. Minho had been called into the office enough times to know.

‘Kim Seungmin and Yang Jeongin.’

Minho felt Hyunjin's body crisp next to him and before he could make any sound of surprise, Minho covered his friend's mouth with the hand that was free. He recognized the second voice as well, it was the head of security.

‘I don't know what 's gonna happen if we don't find them.’

Shit. Of all the times Jeongin disappeared, they had to notice  _ now _ . 

Minho knew perfectly what would happen. If they found out he was out of campus, which was the most likely, then he would get expelled along with Seungmin. What he didn't understand is how they noticed. Jeongin always left the campus, and he turned up just for the checks, some weeks those were the only times Minho saw him. There must have been a reason for them to check on him or Seungmin.

But there wasn't time to answer that question because he needed to find Jeongin as soon as possible before he got into too many problems, hoping he wasn't too far.


	10. Chapter 10

‘Wait so no one has seen them since yesterday?’ asked Felix looking across the room but all five other people in the room shook their heads. ‘Not even a text?’

‘I texted Jeongin but he didn't reply…,’ said Chan. ‘But to be honest, I would be more worried if he _did_ reply.’

‘I can't fucking believe you guys didn't tell me he skipped,’ said Hyunjin rolling his eyes. ‘Look at what mess we're in.’

‘To be fair, Hyunjin, Jeongin always skips,’ said Chan pretty calmly even though he felt Hyunjin wasn't calm at all. ‘The only difference is that now the school knows he's not in his room and we need to find him.’

After the secretary and the head of security left the room, the administration was empty and Hyunjin and Minho were able to get out without too much trouble. Next thing they knew, Felix was telling them about the whole drama that had happened. Apparently, Seungmin's father had come to school to see him and that's how they noticed both Jeongin and Seungmin were gone. They figured Changbin, Chan or Jisung would know something, anything, which is why they went to Chan's room. But nothing. All they knew was that they were still looking for them, time was running out, and they had no idea about where Jeongin and Seungmin had gone.

‘Ok, let's try to be smart about this. How can we find them and how can we gain time?’ asked Chan as he got up from his chair.

‘I've been trying to call Jeongin since we got out of the files room, but nothing,’ said Hyunjin, holding up his phone. ‘Seungmin's phone is straight-up turned off, I think.’

‘Fuck…,’ whispered Chan sitting back down and trying to think. ‘Gaining time won't do anything for us unless we can get them here, and we know nothing about where they are.’

‘What if they're in Jeongin's place?’ asked Jisung, which made Hyunjin turn towards him suddenly, confused. As far as he knew, he was the only one that knew about that place apart from Jeongin, and he couldn't believe Jeongin had trusted Jisung of all people with that secret.

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Well, we're not stupid. Jeongin clearly goes to some place when he wants to be alone,’ said Jisung, with an irritated tone because of Hyunjin's attitude. ‘So if anyone knows where that is, this would be a great time to share with the group.’

‘Nah, he won't be there.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because he wouldn't go there with someone.’

‘How can you know that for sure?’

‘Because I know Jeongin.’

‘No, you don't. The fact that you used to be super close doesn't mean you-’

‘Fuck, you guys _are_ annoying,’ interrupted Minho as he sat next to Changbin on Chan's bed.

‘Welcome to my everyday life,’ whispered Changbin. ‘But anyway, I have a question, actually.’

‘What is it?’ asked Felix as everyone's eyes were on Changbin.

‘What the fuck were you guys doing in the files room?’ 

Minho and Hyunjin turned to Felix. The other three, seeing their reactions, also turned to him. Felix stayed with his mouth half-open, unable to find any excuse for them breaking into that room. There was literally no good explanation - even the truth was the worst thing he could say.

‘Who cares? We don't have time for that,’ said Chan rolling his eyes. Minho half-smiled seeing Felix's relief on his face. ‘Here's what we're gonna do. First, we need to find Jeongin and Seungmin and bring them here. We'll say they came here to get the notes from Jisung and me for the classes they missed today.’

‘Sure, because getting notes from Han is _so_ realistic,’ whispered Hyunjin to himself but it was loud enough for everyone to hear.

‘Shut up, Hwang,’ said Jisung, with the coldest stare possible and then he turned to Chan. ‘What excuse do we give about them skipping though?’

‘We can say one of them was sick and they didn't want to infect anyone or something like that,’ suggested Felix.

‘No, no more lies. If we manage to convince the principal that they’ve been here all along, the worst they’ll get is detention,’ said Chan confidently, and everyone believed every word coming out of his mouth because if someone knew about the rules, then it was him. ‘Let's focus on them not figuring out they were outside.’ Chan's words were met with consent from everyone but Minho turned to Chan.

‘So what do we do? If neither of them is answering the phone…’

The room stayed silent while they all looked at Chan for some kind of instructions. ‘The first thing I think we need to do is gain time by distracting whoever is looking for them right now.’

‘I think you should do that!’ said Jisung, trying to bring something to the table.

‘Yeah, I think Felix and me would look the least suspicious out of us when interacting with the principal or the staff,’ Chan turned to Felix. ‘You good with that?’

Felix nodded confidently. ‘Of course.’

‘Ok, let's go,’ said Chan as he got up from the chair, and in the blink of an eye, the two friends were out the door leaving Changbin, Hyunjin, Minho, and Jisung by themselves.

The room was left completely silent for what felt like forever, but it actually was only for a couple of seconds. Jisung and Minho avoided each other's stare, while Hyunjin was sitting between Minho and Changbin. Hyunjin didn't really understand why it was so awkward. Sure, he didn't have the best relationship with Jisung but there had been plenty of times where he had been alone with Jisung and Changbin, and still, it didn't feel this way. 

‘You think they're hooking up?’

Hyunjin turned to Changbin confused, who was simply staring back at him. 

‘The fuck are you talking about?’ asked Hyunjin more confused than ever, while Changbin didn't even change his serious stare.

‘Who? Chan and Felix?’ asked Jisung.

Changbin looked at Jisung from across the room and then frowned. ‘No, of course not. How would those two be fucking? Chan is straight and Felix is Felix. I'm talking about Seungmin and Innie.’ Hyunjin's stare got a whole lot darker while Jisung and Minho stared at Changbin in disbelief. ‘Don't look at me that way! Are we really gonna act like it isn't a possibility?’

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. ‘Whatever.’ He got up from the bed. ‘I'm not gonna sit and wait for them to come back.’

Jisung laughed slightly. ‘Then what are you gonna do? Teletransport yourself to wherever they are?’

‘Listen, I don't fucking know! I just don't want to sit here and not do shit!’ 

‘Ok, calm down…,’ said Changbin as he got up from the bed. ‘Getting mad won't change anything. We can still call or whatever.’ By now, Changbin had his hand on Hyunjin's shoulder, trying to calm him down. 

‘I actually think it's a good idea you go look for them… So you can help them at the fence or whatever,’ said Jisung. ‘I would do it but…’ He pointed at his foot. ‘I can stay here and call while you look for them.’

‘Yeah, let's do that,’ said Hyunjin, and without waiting for a second more, he was out the door with Changbin, as he held his arm tightly and dragged him out of the room with him.

As the door closed behind them, Minho met Jisung's eyes for the first time since they had been in the room together. 

‘Aren't you going to go with them?’ asked Jisung as he tried to get up from his bed to sit on the chair by the desk.

‘I’ll just slow things down. I can keep calling Jeongin with you,’ said Minho looking at Jisung, who just nodded slightly. Minho got up from the bed and pulled Chan's chair next to Jisung. They were close enough for their legs to slightly touch but not as close as Jisung would've liked.

He hated himself for feeling that way. He really had meant it this time when he said he gave up on love, and in some way he did. He didn't believe there was any alternative reality where he and Minho could amount to anything at all, and it would much less happen in this one. And he was okay with that. But fuck, he was gorgeous.

They stayed in silence as they kept dialing the numbers, but no one ever answered. Jisung tried texting and Minho kept calling. Minho thought it would be better to give Jeongin a couple of minutes in between calls, so that's what they did but nothing changed. Jisung tried calling Seungmin, but it went straight to voicemail. They had no news of any of their friends for what felt like forever, and all they said to each other was “nothing” or “still no answer”.

It was on Jisung's third attempt to call Seungmin that Minho broke the ice.

‘What do you think of Seungmin?’

Jisung looked surprised at Minho and half-opened his mouth, but somehow not a single sound came out of it. All he could think about in that very moment was that he was way better before meeting Lee Minho. At least, there wasn’t an impossible love and there was _way_ less humiliation.

‘What? It's just a question.’

‘I-I…,’ Jisung tried his best to hold himself together, without even knowing why he was so out of words to begin with. He had talked to Minho enough times to be over this phase, wasn't he?

Minho looked down and sighed. ‘Sorry, I just wanted to make conversation and I'm actually curious... But I get it. This whole thing is a mess and I could’ve treated you better. You don't want to talk to me.’

‘No! No, no, not at all,’ said Jisung, automatically putting his hand on Minho's leg, without thinking about it. But as Minho stared at it, Jisung quickly took his hand off. ‘Sorry…’ Minho looked up at him in silence. ‘My brain stopped working for a second there for some reason. I thought you would be the one that didn't want to talk to me.’

‘It's just weird, I guess... It doesn't mean we can't be friendly when we're the two of us alone, though.’

Jisung stared at Minho for what felt like forever. Minho just kept making it harder and harder for him not to fall more for him. Some part of him was reassured that he wasn't hated, but couldn't Minho just hate him to make it easier for Jisung? Because as Minho said that, all Jisung could think about was how much he wanted to kiss him. But as he opened his mouth, the cellphone on the desk started ringing and Jeongin's name was displayed on the screen. Minho left Jisung's mind and he quickly answered the phone.

‘Where the fuck are you!?’

To say Jeongin was pissed was an understatement. But more than anything, he was worried to death about what could happen to him if they didn't make it back in time. He was walking around the city with Seungmin, talking about whatever, and he had put his phone in his backpack, so he didn't notice any of the calls and messages, and Seungmin's phone had run out of battery. 

It was only when they decided it was time to come back that Jeongin noticed all the missed calls from pretty much everyone he knew, as well as hundreds of messages. He was confused so he decided to call the last person that called him: Jisung.

Jisung explained the situation to him and Jeongin didn’t waste a single second. He didn't even bother to explain to Seungmin what was going on, he just grabbed his arm and they ran. However, to get to the school - or better said, to get to the part of the school's wall that they could easily jump over without anyone noticing - they needed to go through a forest, and running there was a bit more difficult. It was only then that Jeongin explained what had happened to Seungmin and once he finished, he realized that Seungmin didn't look surprised at all.

‘You knew about your dad coming?’ asked Jeongin looking at Seungmin, but without stopping his walk. Seungmin didn't answer, he just walked, and it was enough for Jeongin to understand. ‘Are you stupid or what? Why would you leave when you know people are going to look for you?’

Seungmin mumbled a barely hearable apology, probably intimidated by how mad Jeongin was. Jeongin just sighed and they kept walking the fastest they could. Seungmin had said he didn't want any questions asked about why they were skipping, but with every minute passing, it seemed harder to keep his questions to himself. Did Seungmin want to skip  _ because _ of his father? How bad his relation with his father could be?  _ Why _ ? He had so many questions but, at the end of the day, Jeongin knew he had no business knowing all of this and he wasn't so sure he actually cared. Why care about Seungmin when he clearly didn't care about him? If he did, he wouldn't have dragged him into his mess.

The more Jeongin thought about it, the more he realized the person he was the most annoyed at was himself. He had no business following someone he barely knew into something that could get him into trouble. He should've said no. He should've gone to class with Chan, and Felix, and Minho. He shouldn't have changed his plan because of someone else. Bet or not, getting close to Seungmin had been his biggest mistake and he wanted out. He didn't want Seungmin in his life. He never had to begin with.

Once they finally got to the fence and Jeongin was about to jump over it, Seungmin grabbed him by the arm to stop him. He knew that on the other side, Hyunjin and Changbin were waiting for them. Seungmin knew it was his last chance to talk to Jeongin properly.

‘Jeongin, please don't be mad at me,’ said Seungmin, with such regret it could be heard in his voice. But Jeongin didn't care, so he freed himself from Seungmin's grab, even more, annoyed because he had touched him.

‘You dragged me into your shit, how the fuck do you expect me not be mad?’

‘It's complicated, yeah? I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to hurt you in any way,’ Seungmin's eyes were full of emotion and regret, Jeongin could tell. ‘My father and I... It's complicated and I promise I'll tell you all about it once this is over, okay?’

‘I don't give a shit about your father and you, Seungmin. Whatever is going on between you two, there was no reason for me to come with you. I couldn't give less a fuck about you.’

Seungmin half opened his mouth but no words seemed to fit, and Jeongin didn't give him the time to find them either because as soon as he finished talking he turned around and climbed on the wall. On the other side, Hyunjin and Changbin were waiting for them, and they helped them get over it as fast as possible.

‘Where the fuck were you?’ asked Hyunjin, but Jeongin couldn't deal with his overprotective attitude so he just ignored him as they ran towards the building of the dorms.

Changbin explained to them that Chan and Felix were gaining time but they needed to get to Chan's room as soon as possible. And that's what they did, Jisung and Minho were already there and Jeongin didn't give much thought to the fact that it was the first time the both of them were alone and yet they seemed way too comfortable with each other. They didn't have much time to explain or think either because as soon as they were installed in the room to make it believe they had been there for a while, Chan opened the door followed by Felix, the principal, and what they all assumed was Seungmin's parents: a tall middle-aged man followed by a shorter woman, both black hair. There was nothing really remarkable about either of them.

‘There you are! We've been looking all over for you!’ said Seungmin's father and Seungmin smiled slightly. ‘I told you I would come today, did you forget?’

Seungmin shook his head, slightly uncomfortable by how everyone was looking at him. He got up from the bed and his father was smiling at him. Jeongin was really starting to wonder if Seungmin hadn't just straight up lied to him. He didn't seem to be a bad man and they seemed to get along. Was it really worth jeopardizing their status at school? 

‘We'll talk about the skipping later,’ said the principal giving a dark stare at Jeongin. ‘And the rest of you go back to your rooms. Seven people in one room is a bit too much.’

Everyone nodded automatically, with angelic smiles. The principal gave one last look at Chan but neither said anything. He wasn't stupid, Chan knew it, but there was no use to talk about it in front of the parents of one of the students that had left school unsupervised so easily. Both Chan and the principal knew it was better for everyone to, just for once, turn a blind eye.

Jeongin watched Seungmin's father put his arm around his son and smile brightly at him, but the smile that Seungmin was giving him was fake, forced. Jeongin could tell it was a much different smile from the way he smiled usually. 

‘Happy birthday, son.’

And once last time, before they definitely left the room, all eyes were on Seungmin, and he hated it.

There was something about Seungmin that Changbin didn't like. He wasn't sure what it was. But every time he looked at him, every time Hyunjin talked about him, there were six words that kept repeating in his head like a broken record: “it's too good to be true”. He didn't hate him by any means, and it was nice to hang around him, but no one was perfect and Changbin knew it. Seungmin was also getting awfully close to the people he cared the most about and who he felt the need to protect the most: Hyunjin, Jisung, and Jeongin. It was only natural Changbin would feel this way - and after tonight, that feeling was stronger than ever.

Jeongin left right after Seungmin, and Felix didn't last much longer in the room either. However, Hyunjin, Changbin, and Minho stayed to discuss the subject at hand, with Minho spearheading the Seungmin-could-be-bad-news wagon.

‘This is what Innie means when he says we baby him,’ said Jisung after Changbin explained that Seungmin was a bad influence on Jeongin. ‘He can make his own decisions. Seungmin didn't put some kind of weird thought on his head so he would skip. Jeongin always skips and he just took the opportunity.’

‘Are you gonna ignore how he could've been expelled because of Seungmin's carelessness?’ asked Changbin.

‘Changbin, we don't know why they skipped, so stop pinning everything on Seungmin,’ said Hyunjin. 

‘To be fair, Jeongin said Seungmin was the one who wanted to skip,’ said Minho calmly. ‘And maybe he's not a bad influence per se but clearly, something is wrong... Jeongin has never skipped with anyone ever apart from us. He has known Seungmin for only two weeks.’

‘God forbid the guy gets close to other people," said Hyunjin, rolling his eyes.

‘You're saying that just because of the bet and because you like Seungmin,’ interrupted Changbin. ‘If it was  _ anyone _ else, you would be like us and you know it, Hwang. You were the one that made him get close to him for the sake of the bet.’

‘I know Seungmin, okay? Better than any of you here and he isn't a bad person. He just fucked up. We  _ all _ fuck up sometimes, don't we?’ said Hyunjin to which Jisung just nodded while Changbin and Minho rolled their eyes, and Chan listened to the debate quietly and attentively from his chair.

‘I hate to say this but Hwang is right,’ said Jisung, to everyone’s surprise. It had been clear from the start that Jisung was on Hyunjin’s side - better said, Seungmin’s side - but hearing those words come out of his mouth was still surprising to everyone in the room. Changbin started to think that if Minho hadn’t been the one to bring Hyunjin and Jisung together, Seungmin might be after all. ‘Seungmin is a good person and he cares for Jeongin. He just fucked up and he probably had a reason. We're no one to judge this with no context whatsoever. This conversation is stupid. Plus, Jeongin can be friends with whoever he wants.’

‘I think it's fair for Minho and Changbin to be worried about who Jeongin surrounds himself with…,’ said calmly Chan. ‘But... I think Jeongin has learned from his mistakes, and Seungmin doesn't seem to be the evil you two make him out to be. You're worrying for nothing. They're not even best friends or anything like that, and if someone makes Innie go out his shell, isn't that something good?’

‘We literally don’t know anything about Seungmin,’ said Minho, and he had a point. ‘I mean do any of you know where he's from or  _ anything _ ?’

Hyunjin and Jisung exchanged a look that for once wasn't one of hate or mockery. They genuinely didn't know much about Seungmin's past, but it wasn't because he hid something. Seungmin simply wasn't one to talk about himself.

‘Exactly my point,’ said Minho. ‘For fuck's sakes, as Felix would say, we didn't even know he was a Virgo. And Felix knows everyone's zodiac signs to the point it's becoming a problem - but that’s another topic.’

‘I think it's pretty fun,’ said Chan, half amused. ‘But coming back to the actual point, I get that we don't know much about him but we've only known him for two weeks. It's not like we should know his entire life story by now and he's a reserved person, so I don't think we should jump to conclusions.’

‘The thing is that he knew his parents were coming today and yet he dragged Jeongin with him,’ said Changbin.

Chan sighed, starting to get annoyed as the debate didn’t seem to go anywhere. Instead, the conversation felt like a never-ending circle. ‘You are treating this like Jeongin is about to get married to Seungmin or something. Plus, after this, I'm pretty sure Seungmin getting close to Jeongin won't be a problem. Innie seemed pretty pissed and I think we all know how Jeongin is when he’s pissed.’

And that was enough to get everyone to agree even though they had very different visions of it all. But even if Seungmin was an issue, how could they pull them apart? Telling Jeongin he shouldn't hang out with him would cause the exact opposite. Telling him he should hang out with him could help for a while, but not enough knowing they shared a room. But Hyunjin and Jisung still believed that there was no real reason to separate them. What each of them on their side didn't understand is why their friends couldn't see the same Seungmin they saw, the same smiley and sweet boy they loved spending time with. 

Minho and Hyunjin were the next ones to leave, but not without asking Changbin if it was okay if Minho spent the night with them, to which Changbin answered that it wasn't like they ever asked his opinion before. Minho didn't dare to look at Jisung as Hyunjin took his hand and wrapped their fingers together. Usually, that would've flustered him to the point he would let go immediately of Hyunjin's hand and push him away - but this time he didn't. It didn’t seem to fluster him so much. He liked the warmth of his hand, the way their fingers fit perfectly together, he liked how his small hand fit perfectly in Hyunjin's big hand. It felt comfortable.

It wasn't too late when they got to the room, but Hyunjin was exhausted from swim practice so they decided to go straight to bed. Minho was standing next to his backpack, shirtless with black joggings on, texting Felix that he would stay with Hyunjin, when his best friends started the conversation. 

‘I'm sorry I left you alone with Han... I realized a couple of minutes after we left. It must have been uncomfortable for you.’

Minho turned to him, feeling his heart skip a beat at the mention of Jisung. He quickly pressed send on the message and shrugged his shoulder. ‘It's okay... You were worried about Innie and so was I.’

‘Was it okay?’

By now, Hyunjin was already laying on his bed, looking at Minho. He left his phone on his backpack without waiting for a response from Felix and walked towards the bed.

‘Yeah, I don't know... Normal, I guess,’ said Minho with a half-smile before he laid on Hyunjin's bed as well. They laid on their sides to look at each other comfortably. ‘Why?’ Minho didn't really want to continue on the topic of conversation because he hated to lie to Hyunjin - or better said, avoid saying some things -, but there was something in Hyunjin's eyes that lit up his curiosity too much to let it go.

Hyunjin smiled, nervous. ‘I just... I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, especially since Felix's party. I realized that was your first time meeting Han and…,’ Hyunjin paused for a couple of seconds to put his thoughts together. ‘It just seemed too  _ stupid _ . And I'm not saying that I like the guy and that I will ever like him, but I guess what I want to say is that... It's okay if you guys get along. Don't force yourself to hate someone just because of me. And I  _ know _ that you still support me and love me, even though you never say it. And I think if someone treated you the way Han treats me I would hate them but... It's not like I'm an angel to him either. It isn't back and white, you know? That being said, if you want to hate him like before then go for it. I just think now it's kind of different with you two knowing each other.’

The room stayed quiet for a couple of minutes, in which Hyunjin could see on Minho's face that he was processing all that had been said to him. It was weird. Not even Hyunjin understood what he felt. He didn't like Jisung. He never had. Jisung was the reason for many of his anxieties and he never seemed to enjoy his day if Jisung was there, but at the end of the day, he knew that it was rooted in the way they just couldn't get along and weren't meant to. He also hated the way Jisung treated Felix just for being his friend, and he didn't want Minho to be that kind of person, to hate on someone for their relationship with someone else. Ultimately, Hyunjin didn't think it was worth it to hate on someone for the way they treated him. He wasn’t worth it. But at the end of the day, he knew Minho way too well to know that he would do as he pleased and he was okay with that. All he wanted was Minho to know he didn't owe him anything, and he didn't ask him to hate on anyone. He was giving him some sort of getaway-from-jail-free card from hating a person that was liked by so many others in their lives.

‘If I hate him it's not because of you, Hyunjin. I mean, it's not because of some sort of code or something I owe to you by being your friend. If I hate him it's because he treats you like shit, and I hate that. And you're no one to tell me who I hate and who I don't.’ 

Hyunjin smiled slightly. ‘You can hate what he does and not  _ him _ .’

‘Well... That's up to me.’

‘I know, I was just saying that you don't owe me anything.’

Minho smiled and slapped lightly Hyunjin's cheek, teasing him. ‘It's cute you think I ever thought I did.’ He then turned around making Hyunjin face his back. ‘Now you turn off the lights.’

‘Why me!?’

‘It's your room! I'm not getting up so if you don’t get up we’ll just sleep with the lights on.’

Hyunjin growled and got up from the bed. After turning off the light, he came back to the bed and lied back in the same position. Minho could feel his breath on his neck and hoped that Hyunjin would wrap his arms around him but he never did. He thought back to Jisung who was flustered by him so easily, and then he thought about Hyunjin who didn't even blink when they held hands. They were so different, yet so similar. And Minho just didn't know if he had fallen for what was comfortable, or if his feelings were real. It felt like he was back on square one, wondering if he really was in love with Hyunjin or not, and that was a doubt he thought he was over with but clearly wasn't. Everyday Minho was even more confused.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello  
> Hope you had good holidays and yeah happy new year!  
> My goal is to update twice a month but yeah not promising anything ig anyway hope you're liking this idk and thank you always for reading!! I also made a curious cat (might open a twitter acc to keep updated idk if anyone would care enough but we'll see) so anyway whtv question comment you have can now be anonymous ig [here](HTTP://curiouscat.me/jjulskz).  
> Hope you enjoy!!

Jisung placed Seungmin's fingers back on the fred of the guitar as he sat in front of him - index finger first fret G string, middle finger second fret A string, and ring finger second fret D string. However, Seungmin's mind was somewhere else that didn't include learning guitar at all. Jisung knew Seungmin was usually way more focused on what he was doing, but it wasn't the case now. He was sloppy and zoned out every time Jisung talked. He simply wasn't himself. 

Exactly a week had passed since what they called the “incident”. Seungmin and Jeongin had been in detention the whole weekend, without the chance to go out or take part in any activity. It seemed harsh for only skipping, but everyone knew that it wasn't the only thing they did, but no one said it aloud. Seungmin and Jeongin took it without complaining because they both knew it could've been so much worse.

Apart from that, for the first time since the beginning of the year, the week was pretty uneventful. Jisung didn't talk to Minho again. He would see him passing by in the hallways or in the patio. Sometimes they shared a look and smiled at each other politely, but it didn't go any further, and Jisung was somehow grateful. For once, Jisung felt at peace with everything, but he knew it wasn't the same for everyone in his life - hands Seungmin's lack of attention to him.

‘Are you gonna listen to me or you rather do something else?’ asked Jisung as he saw Seungmin zoning out yet once again. It took him a while to realize that Jisung had talked to him and when he did, he looked at Jisung completely lost. ‘Do you even wanna learn to play guitar?’

Seungmin closed his eyes frustrated and nodded. ‘Yeah, yeah, sorry…’

Jisung put Seungmin’s fingers back in place as he had moved them without realizing. ‘So this is E. It's pretty easy. Try it.’

‘Do you think Jeongin hates me?’

‘That's not guitar.’ Seungmin stared at Jisung insistent until Jisung sighed, defeated. ‘He doesn't hate you.’

‘He hasn't talked to me since last Tuesday and I've barely seen him - I don't even know where he sleeps but he isn't sleeping in our room. And the times I've seen him, he just ignored me and... God, he hates me, doesn't he?’

It had taken some time for Jisung to realize how useless it was to spiral when it came to Jeongin being mad. Jeongin never confronted anyone. He disappeared for days or weeks, and then at some point, after being left alone a time, he reappeared. Jisung wouldn't know what could happen if someone was to pressure him, and he didn't know if Seungmin was capable of it.

‘He doesn't hate you, Seungmin... That’s how Jeongin is and he'll come around,’ said Jisung trying to calm him down.

‘Has he talked to you about it?’ asked Seungmin with some kind of hope in his eyes but Jisung just shook his head.

‘No, I haven't seen him either and he isn't so good at answering texts or calls.’

Seungmin sighed and Jisung stared at Seungmin for a couple of seconds. He had promised himself he wouldn't ask. It wasn't his business. But he would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that the questions around the situation were killing him from inside. 

‘What is it?’

He had been staring too long. Jisung shook his head and shrugged. ‘I just... I don't really understand what happened last Tuesday.’

Seungmin's whole body language started to change. He seemed more uncomfortable, more closed. Jisung was surprised to see him close up like this. Seungmin was a close person, he barely talked about himself, but he wasn't like _this_.

‘I rather talk about it with Jeongin first if that's alright…,’ Seungmin sighed. ‘It's nothing serious, to be honest, just family drama I guess. But I want to explain it to Jeongin first if he ever talks to me again. I just... I think he deserves that.’

Jisung nodded. ‘Sounds reasonable.’ Seungmin smiled slightly and looked down. ‘Can we go back to the guitar now? Or do you wanna keep talking about Jeongin?’ Jisung leaned in towards Seungmin but his friend didn't flinch one bit. ‘Do you like Jeongin?’

Seungmin rolled his eyes and also leaned in towards Jisung to the point only a couple of inches were in between them. ‘No, I don't. I like Hyunjin. You should know that by now.’

‘Unfortunately... But I'm starting to think that I could be the one you like because we're almost kissing right now.’

Seungmin wasn’t able to hold his laughter and looked down as he laughed nervously. He then straightened up back again on his chair and Jisung copied him.

‘I'm sorry, I'm used to Chan and Changbin slapping me when I get close to them.’

Seungmin laughed slightly and shook his head. ‘You're an idiot. You know that right?’

‘And I embrace it.’

Seungmin rolled his eyes. ‘Who do _you_ like?’

‘No one.’

‘You sure?’

‘Certain,’ said Jisung, doing his best not to picture Minho in his mind in that precise moment but it was difficult. ‘I'm just not built for the couple's life.’

Seungmin nodded slightly. ‘I mean it has nothing to do with it but sure, if you say so... You know what else you're not built for?’

‘What?’

Seungmin got up and put the guitar on Jisung's bed before turning to him. ‘Teaching guitar.’

‘Hey! That's not my fault! You're the one that's only thinking about Jeongin!’

Seungmin laughed as he sat back on the chair. He took his phone out of his pocket and started to check his messages while there was one question and one question only going on in Jisung's mind: how could he like Hyunjin?

Jisung was no stranger to all the guys Hyunjin had dated and all the dramas that came with it. Hyunjin was _always_ dating, but it always seemed to be meaningless to him. Or at least that's how Jisung perceived it. He never really cared about Hyunjin's love life, he just somehow always ended up knowing about it because of Changbin - and drama was drama, Jisung could enjoy it. He knew Hyunjin, whether he wanted to or not, and he knew the guys he dated were _nothing_ like Seungmin. And the more he got to know Seungmin, the less he understood why he liked Hwang Hyunjin of all people. Sure, Hyunjin was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that, but there wasn’t much apart from that. Jisung was convinced that’s why his relationships never lasted. Maybe he was being too harsh. Hyunjin could be funny if he wanted to and Jisung had witnessed his kindness towards everyone but him, but everything was canceled by his egocentrism and he didn’t think Hyunjin was that kind of person that had much to talk about. So what would a guy like Seungmin do with him?

‘So you really like Hyunjin?’

Seungmin looked up from his phone and stared at Jisung, processing the question, before nodding. ‘I-I guess yeah…’

‘Like... Kissing type of liking?’

Seungmin nodded once again. ‘Yeah, why not?’ He then laughed slightly. ‘What other “type of liking” is there?’

Jisung frowned. ‘What do you mean “why not”? You've never kissed?’

Seungmin shook his head. ‘We've barely held hands, Jisung. We just like each other, that's it.’

By now, Jisung's eyes were as big as they could get. Hyunjin was interested in a guy and he hadn't even kissed him yet? In what parallel world had he fallen into? 

‘W-Why are you looking at me like that?’

Jisung stared at Seungmin a few more instances before breaking away from his shock. ‘It's just... He usually moves faster, I guess.’

‘Faster how?’

Jisung tried remembering Hyunjin's main relationships. They usually had an evolution of a week: he liked them one day, the next they were making out, then dating, and then having sex. The only reason why Jisung knew that was because Changbin usually stayed with them when Hyunjin was busy. But Hyunjin and Seungmin had known each other now for a month and there was still no evolution. The last update Jisung had was that they kind of held hands at the game, but apparently that had been the last development.

Jisung decided to shrug instead of going into details. All the things he knew about Hyunjin weren't his to tell. ‘I don't know... Just faster.’

Seungmin looked down, puzzled by Jisung's answer. ‘Maybe he just doesn't like me that way…’

Jisung hated what he was about to say. He hated himself for even wanting to say it. He wanted Seungmin to be happy, but why did he have to choose Hyunjin of all people? It wasn't even about the bet. Not a single bit. He didn't want to lose his friend to Hyunjin, and God knows what he could tell him about Hyunjin. But still. He needed to say what was on his mind because that seemed to be the right thing to do.

‘I don't think you should assume anything... He probably really likes you and he knows you're less experienced so he doesn't want to put any pressure on you. Which is stupid if you ask me because it's not because someone has less experience that they don't want to do stuff or that the one that has more experience has a say on what they should want or not. Maybe you just wanna have sex and the fact that you never have before doe-’

‘What the fuck are you talking about?’ interrupted Seungmin with a frown on his face. ‘Who says I want to have sex?’

‘Y-You don't?’

‘I mean... Yes, sure, someday and _maybe_ with him, but not _now_ ,’ said Seungmin. ‘Are you sure you were talking about me?’

Jisung stared at Seungmin - head empty just Minho. Why was it so hard to get him off his mind? Why was it so hard to forget the night after the dance? All he wanted was to go back there, before everything fell apart. Just them, making out and talking. No Hyunjin involved in any way. 

Jisung sighed and came back to reality to say what he actually wanted to say. ‘If you like him then tell him. There's no use to wonder if he likes you back or not. Just... Go for it. You can't read into his mind and he can't do the same either.’

Dr. Phil could never.

Saturday, October 3rd. 

6:50 A.M. 

Chan was officially 18. 

Well, he was born at night so technically he had a couple of hours to go. Still. Legally he was 18.

He could now go to bars and leave the school without his parents’ permission. He could do so many things that he couldn't do before, yet it didn't feel any different. Chan was just staring at the white ceiling waiting for his alarm clock to ring with Jisung sound asleep on the other side of the room. It was just like any other Saturday.

He hated his birthday. He always had. As a kid, he didn't have a reason for it, just that he would always be disappointed. Growing up Chan found out it was just much better to not expect anything and go through the day pretending it wasn't his birthday. Slowly he stopped telling people and it came to a point where enough people left his life for only Jisung and Changbin to know. He was okay with that. He liked it actually. The only thing he hated more than his birthday was people knowing about it.

Jisung and Changbin knew now that they had to ignore it. If Chan wanted to do something different or special on his birthday, then he would and they followed him, no questions asked. He usually did it a couple of days after, a joint or two for once, and just hanging out. They did wish him a happy birthday every year and sometimes Changbin would buy him something small that made him think of him. Chan cherished those gifts a lot. They weren't forced. They were true and sincere.

Chan was planning on following his Saturday routine like every Saturday, ignoring that he was now 18. After all, what was so different? A year more? A year less? Who fucking cares? Yet, that morning it was harder for him to get up. He knew staying in bed while feeling like this wouldn't change a thing and it was better to pretend it was just like any other day. But that was the thing about birthdays: even when you don't expect anything, you still do. Chan just wanted to stop existing. Just for a day. It wasn't that much to ask, was it?

7:30 A.M.

Still in bed. Still staring at the white-painted ceiling. Jisung still asleep. The sun was already starting to peek through the curtains. Chan thought about how he should be at the gym. Chan thought about all the stuff he needed to do. He thought about how doing those things would make him forget about it. And yet.

He took his phone and went through his messages. Changbin had sent him a happy birthday message at midnight. No long dramatic text about how his existence mattered, just: “happy birthday bro”. It still made Chan smile. His parents and his siblings had sent him something as well. It was sweet. It made him miss them. And all the other messages were either school-related or a girl he was flirting with. That's probably what he would do today. Hook up. Sex or just make out, or just hanging out with someone that wanted him. Yes. That sounded good.

And that's what he had his mind settled on. His main goal of the day was to hang out with a cool girl.

Still. 7:45. No change.

That was until a heavy knocking at the door started to resonate through the whole bedroom to the point it woke up Jisung. Surprised, and kind of scared, Chan got up from the bed, put on the first shirt he found as he was only in boxers, and opened the door.

‘You were supposed to be at the gym! Why weren't you at the gym!?’

Chan blinked and rubbed his eyes a hundred times before realizing Felix was _actually_ standing in front of him and looking as if he had been awake for hours. Chan frowned.

‘W-What are you talking about?’

Felix looked at him up and down and frowned, almost upset. ‘Aren't you supposed to always follow your routine?’

‘Y-Yes?’

Felix sighed and put on his usual smile, but Chan was still as confused. ‘Ok, it's fine. We're not so late in the schedule but get dressed.’

‘What the hell are you talking about?’

‘You were supposed to be at the gym and I was waiting for you to surprise you, and we were going to take the bus and do all this cool shit that I have planned, that we can still do if you get dressed now,’ said Felix pushing Chan back into the bedroom and closing the door behind him. He also turned on the lights which was received by a sleepy growl from Jisung.

‘W-Why?’

Chan was still as surprised and confused as before, but he was becoming much more aware of the fact that he was indeed wearing the shirt he had picked up inside out and he was only wearing boxers besides that. In front of Jisung or Changbin, it would've been fine. Hell, they had seen him with less. But Felix. Felix had always seen him as the perfect student, and perfect friend, and perfect everything. Now he had a puffy face and messy hair, and he was simply a mess.

‘Because it's your birthday.’

Chan stopped thinking about his boxers, or his messy hair, or the underwear that was on the floor on Jisung's side. He stopped thinking about it all just to replay that sentence in his mind.

‘H-How... How did you know?’

‘I'll tell you later, yeah?’ said Felix with the most sincere smile Chan had ever seen. ‘I told you I wouldn't let it go.’

‘You were supposed to ruin my birthday... Not plan a whole day,’ said Chan thinking back on their conversation from two weeks and a half ago.

‘Well... You said you don't do anything and that you don't like people knowing so I'm ruining it by making it a good birthday.’

Chan smiled amused. ‘That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life... Please, don't waste your time.’

‘Who said I was wasting it?’

Chan stayed silent as Felix smiled at him one last time. ‘Anyway, I'll wait for you outside. You're gonna love today, I promise.’

 _I doubt it._ But Chan didn't say anything; he just watched Felix walk away until he turned around just before getting to the door. 

‘One last thing…’ Felix walked right back to him and all of a sudden he hugged Chan. ‘Happy birthday.’

Chan melted into the warm hug and he couldn't deny that it made him smile. Not a forced smile when someone tells you happy birthday. A real and sincere smile.

Seungmin tried his best not to worry about Jeongin that Saturday. He hung out with Jisung most of the day and tried to actually learn guitar, and he managed to pick it up pretty fast given Jisung was a good teacher after all. But Changbin joined them at some point and Seungmin quickly felt he wasn't so welcome to stay anymore, and he understood why. In the little time he had known all of them, he had figured that they all deeply loved Jeongin and cared for him a lot, especially Changbin. He had wondered, and still wasn't sure, if Changbin actually liked Jeongin as more than a friend, but he eventually came to the conclusion it wasn't really his business. He had put Jeongin in jeopardy. He understood why Changbin didn't like him so much anymore. Jisung and Hyunjin, on the other hand, didn't seem to be bothered by the whole incident and neither of them brought it up. Just Jisung during that first guitar “lesson”.

It was already 9 P.M. and there was still no sign of Jeongin. All his stuff didn't seem to have been touched. Everything was the same. Seungmin looked at the messages he had sent him: there was still no answer - not even a seen receipt. At least it had been delivered, that was something. Not worrying was easy when he was busy, but now that he was sitting on his bed staring at the empty bed across from the room and with nothing else to do, Seungmin felt lost. He felt bad. No. He felt awful.

 **SEUNGMIN** **  
**_Jeongin still isn't back…_ _  
_ _what should I do?_

 **JISUNG** **  
**_don't worry he'll be back at some point_ _  
_ _he does this quite often_

 **SEUNGMIN**   
_but what if something happened to him tho??_ _  
_ _has he talked to anyone today?_

 **JISUNG**   
_i think Changbin_ _  
_ _but really don't worry Innie always does this when he's mad_ _  
_ _and HE DOESNT HATE YOU_ _  
_ _he has this place where he goes idk where it is or what it is_ _  
_ _but yeah_ _  
_ _now here’s the real question_ _  
_ _do you think felix kidnapped chan? bc they're still not back and I'm getting worried_ _  
_ _what if Felix is actually the devil incarnate_ _  
_ _what if he's lucifer_ _  
_ _OMG SEUNGMIN I CONNECTED THE DOTS_

 **SEUNGMIN**   
_i'm gonna pretend that you didn't just say that…_ _  
_ _i'm going to look for jeongin_

 **JISUNG**   
_where???_ _  
_ _jeongin is fine I swear_

 **SEUNGMIN**   
_idk but i just don't want to stay here alone_ _  
_ _i still have time till curfew so i'll go walk around take some air_

 **JISUNG**   
_I would go with you but I'm kinda busy_ _  
_ _figuring out how to take out the devil and all_ _  
_ _devil aka felix_

Seungmin just laughed at the message knowing perfectly Jisung was already in his bed probably watching a movie. He didn't really look for Jeongin, he just walked around the school premises. It started to be cold but with a hoodie on, Seungmin was more than okay. There were a couple of people there, sitting on the benches, mostly couples. They weren't kissing or anything, because public display of attention was against the rules, but one could tell by their body language.

Seungmin walked around with earphones playing his playlist of soft songs. It was a beautiful night. The sky was clear and you could see all the stars. The moon was shining. As he walked around, he suddenly stopped to look at the precise place where Jeongin and he had jumped over the fence, where he told him to go with him. He shouldn't have done that. He should've skipped alone like he first had planned to. He should've never involved Jeongin, especially without telling him the truth. He deserved to know why but he didn't know how to tell him if he didn't answer his texts and if he didn't see him.

He was suddenly surprised by someone putting a hand on his shoulder which caused him to turn in a little jump. Part of him hoped to find Jeongin, but instead, Hyunjin was the one in front of me. Seungmin couldn't complain.

‘You scared me…’ said Seungmin while taking out his earphones.

‘Planning to skip again?’ asked Hyunjin with that smile that Seungmin liked so much.

Seungmin smiled amused and shook his head. ‘I've been kind of looking for Jeongin... Haven't seen him in a while.’

‘He's okay, don't worry,’ said Hyunjin, and Seungmin actually believed him when he said that, more than when Jisung said it. It wasn't because he trusted Hyunjin more, but because there was something different in his eyes, as if he wasn't guessing, as if he _actually_ knew Jeongin was okay. ‘Sometimes he just likes to get away... But he'll come around.’

‘It's been a week and a half... I think I screwed up pretty badly.’

Hyunjin looked down and shrugged. ‘We all screw up sometimes.’ Hyunjin laughed slightly. ‘God knows I've fucked up when it comes to Jeongin…’

‘Well, you've known him for a long time, right?’

‘Since forever…’ said Hyunjin, almost in a whisper. ‘Well, when he was 4 and I was 5 actually. My family moved on his street and my parents became friends with his parents and the rest is history, I guess.’

Seungmin smiled slightly. ‘But... You're not that close anymore, are you?’

‘Not really, no…’ said Hyunjin looking down. ‘When we got to high school things changed. I kind of... Left him behind.’

Seungmin nodded slightly. ‘Do you regret it?’

Hyunjin stared at him for what felt like forever. He wasn’t angry at the question or anything. It was more as if he was replaying every moment of him and Jeongin in the last three years. ‘You might hate me after I say this but... No.’

Seungmin frowned slightly as he expected another answer. He expected Hyunjin to talk about how Jeongin was the one that got away, in a friendship kind of way. He expected Hyunjin to say he had made a mistake. Instead, he had that answer, and yet Hyunjin didn't seem much more at peace.

‘It's complicated but... We just wanted different things. He wanted to stay the same as we were, and I wanted to meet new people. And I do regret the way it happened but... I couldn't force him to be someone he wasn't by hanging out with people he didn't like, and it would've been as unfair if he forced me to stay the same when I needed change…’ said Hyunjin. ‘You can hate me if you want.’

‘Why would I hate you?’

Hyunjin shrugged his shoulders. ‘I don't know... I _did_ leave him behind after all..."

‘To be yourself... It's okay to put yourself first sometimes. Sometimes who you are doesn't fit with who you love anymore, and sometimes they're not willing to accept that. You're in the right to... walk away.’

Hyunjin nodded slightly as he looked down. ‘I do regret it sometimes…’ When he looked up, even with the little light that was around them, Seungmin could see that his eyes were shining due to small tears in his eyes. ‘I miss him, a lot. But I just couldn’t stay the same… I'm sorry... I usually don't get emotional in front of people.’ Seungmin smiled to reassure him while Hyunjin tried to wipe his tears away. ‘Felix would say it's because I'm a Pisces.’

Seungmin laughed slightly and when he looked up at Hyunjin, he could still see a tear on his cheek. Without thinking much about it, he extended his arm and wiped the tear away, while Hyunjin stared at him. 

‘T-Thank you…’

‘It's just a tear…’

‘I mean... For this. For listening to me. I know I didn't say much but... I'm not good with talking about myself or stuff that hurt me. I rather keep it to myself and deal with it in my own way.’

‘I get that…’ said Seungmin, knowing he was exactly the same. ‘I'm the same. But you know... I'm always here whenever you need to talk. Sometimes you need to talk to deal properly with stuff. You can't always carry everything by yourself.’

‘I know…’ said slowly Hyunjin. ‘Might sound intrusive and feel free not to answer but… Do you have a childhood friend?’

Seungmin shook his head. ‘Not really. Not like you and Jeongin either way. I had a group of friends back home but we kind of lost touch when I moved.’

Hyunjin frowned. ‘You moved last month. I'm sure if you send them a text or something, you can rebound easily.’

He then gave Seungmin the most sincere and hopeful smile he had ever seen, to comfort him. But he didn't know. He didn't know Seungmin didn't refer to the second time he moved, but the first. He didn't know Seungmin never considered the second place he lived in his home. To him, his home was still and would always be where he had grown up, but it also was where he wasn't wanted.

Instead of explaining that to Hyunjin, he just nodded and smiled. One day he would tell him. He needed to talk to Jeongin first. Jeongin deserved the explanation first than anyone else, and for as much as he liked Hyunjin, Seungmin wouldn't change his mind when it came to that.

‘We should go back to our rooms.’

Seungmin was about to argue but that's when he felt Hyunjin's fingers finally interlacing with his. It was warm and nice, and everything Seungmin had imagined it would be like. He had a taste of it at the game, but now it was the full dish of Hyunjin’s grip. So he followed Hyunjin, as they held hands. It might've been considered a public display of affection but Seungmin didn't care a single bit. They were holding hands.

Hyunjin walked him to his dorm. They held hands the whole way there, and they talked a bit about nothing important or relevant. But it was perfect. It was everything Seungmin wanted. That was until they stood in front of Seungmin's door and they were still not letting go of each other's hands.

‘Thank you again,’ whispered Hyunjin.

Seungmin smiled. ‘I didn’t do much.’

‘You did…’ said softly Hyunjin. ‘You're amazing. You know that, right?’

Instead of giving a whole speech about how for the last week and a half, he felt like everything he did was wrong, Seungmin smiled shyly. ‘If you say so.’

‘I do…’

It felt like in the movies. Everything with Hyunjin felt like that apart from the pace, but this time that feeling was even stronger. It was that moment when you know the two protagonists are about to kiss because they look into each other's eyes, and there's chemistry and there's a mutual feeling. Seungmin didn't have much experience and he didn't have the longest list of people he had kissed, but he still understood the signals. As he understood Hyunjin wouldn't get closer, Seungmin did, and when their lips were finally about to touch, about to collide... Hyunjin dodged it and kissed his cheek.

It wasn't even a sweet kiss. It wasn't a goodnight type of kiss. It was more like when you say hello to someone and there's not even a kiss, it's just a colliding of cheeks and the fake sound of a kiss. It was like saying goodbye to your best friend.

Had he just been friend-zoned by Hyunjin?

Seungmin didn't even process when Hyunjin told him goodnight and left. He just entered his room and stared at the window in front of him, until he took his phone out of his pocket to text the only person he knew he could talk about this.

 **SEUNGMIN**   
_ok be honest_ _  
_ _if you try kissing a guy and they dodge it to kiss you in the cheek_ _  
_ _what does it mean?_

 **JISUNG**   
_HAHAHAHA_ _  
_ _ARE YOU KIDDING ME???_ _  
_ _DID HYUNJIN REALLY DID THAT???_ _  
_ _I thought he was supposed to be good with guys?????_ _  
_ _unless it wasn’t hyunjin……………………_ _  
_ _was it jeongin? i see you seungmin_ _  
_ _wait wait wait let's not get ahead of ourselves tho_ _  
_ _it depends_ _  
_ _kiss in cheek like “there's so much sexual tension that if i kiss you we're just gonna have sex”_ _  
_ _or kiss in the cheek like when you see your grandma_

 **SEUNGMIN**   
_I choose not to answer that question_

 **JISUNG**   
_Come to my room_ _  
_ _I'll give you a proper kiss_

 **SEUNGMIN**   
_k i'm gonna block you now_ _  
_ _have a good life_


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii  
> Thank you so so much for 2k hits!! truly grateful for whoever takes the time to read this and hope you're enjoying it tbh  
> Thank you as well for commenting and the kudos and everything it really means a lot   
> I have nothing more to say than enjoy ahskjh

October 3rd

8:00 P.M.

About 12 hours had passed since Felix knocked at his door, and yet everything seemed to have happened in the blink of an eye for Chan. They took the bus to the city, had breakfast at a cupcake place, then went to the park to hang out. After they had lunch, they went to the aquarium and then they went to the movies to watch a Marvel movie. The more Chan thought about it on their way back, the more he realized it had been the perfect day. Not only was Felix caring and had picked the perfect activities, but he also didn't make him feel like all of this was just because it was his birthday. He didn't even mention it after wishing him a happy birthday that morning. It felt like spending a good time with a friend, and it actually took his mind away from everything.

Chan felt weird to admit it, even to himself, but he actually had a good day.

His favorite part was the aquarium where Felix told him he knew he loved the beach and he was sorry they couldn't go, but this was kind of close. Chan loved it. He was so grateful to Felix and to Changbin - because there was no way Felix would’ve known exactly what to do without someone guiding him.

Once they got back, Chan started to walk towards the dorms as he kept talking about the movie and how it was related to other movies in the Marvel universe, until he felt a strong grasp on his arm forcing him to stop and turn around.

‘What are you doing?’

Chan pointed to the dorm confused, ‘Aren't we going back to the dorms?’ 

‘Nop,’ Felix shook his head happily. ‘The day isn't over yet.’

Chan was even more confused but he followed him in silence as Felix grabbed softly his wrist and dragged him to a place Chan was probably too familiar with. But because he knew that place too well, he also knew it was closed on these hours. Still, he followed him. He was surprised to see Felix take a key out of his pocket to unlock the door. 

‘How did you get that key?’ asked Chan as they entered the place.

‘I have my contacts,’ said Felix proud of himself.

Chan didn't really understand why they went to the pool out of all the places on the school premises. That was until they actually got to the pool and he saw how beautiful the place looked with all the main lights out but only the lights of the pool on and some fairy lights Felix (or Changbin) had installed beforehand. After he was done admiring how beautiful a place inscribed in his daily life looked, he turned to Felix who seemed kind of nervous. It was funny to see him like that after he had been so confident of his choices the whole day.

‘Again... I'm sorry we couldn't go to the beach so... I tried my best,’ said Felix. ‘And I promise after this you're totally free of me!’

Chan couldn't help but smile widely. ‘This is perfect, Felix.’

Felix seemed content with that answer as he smiled as well and grabbed his wrist again to drag him to the stands where the fairy lights were displayed. Chan noticed then a basket which he assumed contained their dinner. They sat down and Felix took the food out while Chan played some music on his phone - it was easy to pick because they had similar taste in music.

They kept talking about the movie, and about different things that didn't have much meaning or weren't that important or deep. Chan was surprised by how easy it was to talk to Felix. It was weird because they never really hung out just the two of them: Chan was too busy with his schedule and Felix was always with other people. Felix was a social butterfly in every sense of the term but Chan could tell he had his favorites, Changbin leading the scoreboard. Chan wasn't even near the list, which he had always been okay with. He was too busy to care about that type of stuff, as long as people liked him, he was okay. Chan and Felix always got along but they never were the two of them, which made it all the more surprising that Felix would go such an extra length to celebrate his birthday and make it a not-so-bad day for him.

‘I need to ask you something,’ said Chan after they had finished eating and were sitting right at the edge of the pool with their legs in the water with a Coldplay album playing in the background. ‘And please be honest.’

Felix nodded. ‘Ask away.’

Chan stared at Felix a couple of seconds after asking the question that had been on his mind all day long: ‘How did you know today was my birthday?’ Felix didn't answer but a nervous smile appeared on his lips. ‘Because I know Changbin and Jisung wouldn't tell you.’

Felix shrugged. ‘Well, you know... I have my ways.’

Chan smiled and slightly pushed Felix with his shoulder. ‘C'mon... I won't be mad at you.’

‘That's not what I'm worried about,’ said Felix laughing nervously. ‘Changbin did help me put everything together though... So he's not so innocent.’

‘Yeah, I figured.’

Felix sighed. ‘So remember how when Innie and Seungmin skipped, we found out about Seungmin's father being here because Hyunjin and Minho were in the archives room?’ Chan's eyes opened up in shock, but it turned quickly into a laugh but also his entire face got red.

‘You broke into the archives room just to know my birthday?’ asked Chan in disbelief but at the same time struggling to stay serious.

‘Glad you don't think I'm a stalker.’

‘Don't get me wrong: I _totally_ think you're a stalker but…’ Chan made a pause as he took a hold of himself. ‘It's quite funny... Even though I don't get why you would do that just to know my birthday. I expected you telling me you hacked my computer or something.’

‘Believe me, hacking your computer would've been way more difficult than to break into that room... Plus it _technically_ wasn't breaking in: the room was open. Also, it wasn't me! It was Hyunjin and Minho!’

Chan shook his head as he laughed and looked in front of him. It was absolutely insane, and from now on he would be more careful with what he made Felix promise. But ultimately he was grateful. Felix truly didn't want anything out of this. He just did it for him, and Chan felt kind of bad about it but he couldn't deny this had probably been the best birthday he ever had.

The calm of the moment was suddenly broken by Chan's phone starting to ring. As he looked at the screen, he saw it was the girl he had texted that morning: Cha Soyoung.

‘Your girlfriend?’ asked Felix, and Chan looked up surprised towards him. ‘Go ahead, you can totally answer. I don’t mind.’

Chan looked down at his phone and shook his head as he declined the call. ‘No, I'm just gonna text her. It's just I haven't answered for a while and I may have plans with her tonight or tomorrow.’

Felix nodded. ‘So she is your girlfriend.’

Chan finished typing. Soyoung wasn't his girlfriend. Sure, they had hooked up plenty of times and got along even outside of that - they did multiple group projects together - but no, they weren't together. Even though she was the closest thing he had to a girlfriend, that's not what either of them wanted and that's why it worked. And Chan didn't do relationships.

‘No, she isn't,’ said Chan as he put back on Coldplay's music. ‘We just... Hook up.’

‘Do you like her? I mean... If you don't mind me asking.’

Chan laughed slightly which made Felix feel a bit better about his questions. ‘It's okay, but no, I don't like her. I don't do relationships or anything like that.’

Felix frowned. ‘Why not? Relationships must be the coolest thing ever.’

‘They consume a lot of your time and energy and that's fine for some people but... I just don't have the time for that,’ said Chan. ‘I wanna focus on studies to get my scholarship and go to my dream college, and after that, there's plenty of time to do relationships and feelings and all that shit.’

Felix shrugged. ‘I guess... But after this year, there’s college and then it's your job, and... I don't know... I just believe more in living in the moment.’

‘You mean I don't live in the moment?’ asked Chan, pretending to be offended - even though he actually wanted to know what Felix meant.

‘Well, yeah... And that's _your_ choice and it's totally fine and valid. But right now you're thinking about college, and in college, you'll be thinking of jobs. And I think, by focusing so much on all the things you need to do right to have the “right” future, you can pass by great opportunities, you know?’ said Felix. ‘Like Soyoung, for example. But to be honest, I don’t mean just relationships. I kinda mean everything.’ Chan smiled slightly and they stayed in silence until Felix sighed. ‘I'm sorry. That was out of line.’

Chan shook his head. ‘No, it wasn't. I don't live in the moment, that's true. I always think of all the possible consequences of what I could do and I end up not doing anything out of the line. I just don't take risks.’ He paused and looked to the water in front of them, almost melancholic. ‘And maybe I miss out on amazing opportunities but I also miss out on hurting and messing up, and I think that's okay."

‘Don't you think that by missing out you're messing up, though?’ asked Felix looking carefully at Chan, who shrugged. 

In his 18 years of existence, Chan had learned something: people hurt. Human beings were meant to hurt. He saw it around him: it was in Jisung breaking his foot or being sad over all the guys that had screwed him over, it was Changbin pretending he didn't care his parents weren't there, it was his little brother losing his favorite toy, his sister having her first crush and first heartbreak, and his parents losing a family member. Hurting was all around but Chan had seen enough of it to know he never wanted to go there. He had been hurt before and it was enough. If passing by opportunities meant not hurting and being able to help the ones he loved, then he was okay with that.

He suddenly felt his body being pushed and in a matter of seconds, he was in the water, fully dressed. When he went back to the surface, he saw Felix standing on the edge where they had been seated seconds ago with a wide smile.

‘Why in the hell did you do that!?’

‘Shit was getting too serious. Sorry, I needed to do something.’

‘We could get expelled, you know that right?’

Felix shrugged. ‘We could get expelled just by being here. Might as well have some fun. I told you you needed to live more in the moment!’

‘You told me I was valid!’

‘I’m rethinking.’

Chan couldn't help but smile because of how happy Felix seemed of himself. And for the first time in a while, Chan decided to let go, let things flow. 

It was his birthday after all. 

He got close to the edge and Felix offered his hand to help him, but Chan ignored it, using both of his hands to help himself up by lifting his body up. 

‘Don't you dare touch me all wet like that,’ said Felix taking a step back.

But it was too late because Chan was already lifting him up from the ground and he didn’t wait for a second to throw him into the pool regardless of Felix begging him not to do it while he laughed. Chan went back to the pool as well.

‘Well I hope you know that if we get expelled it's your fault,’ said Felix jokingly as he arranged his now wet hair. ‘This isn't as glamorous as they make it out to be in the movies, I want a refund. If you think about it, getting into the pool with our clothes is kind of gross.’

Chan laughed. ‘You're the one that threw me first! What did you expect? We're not in _High School Musical 2_.’

Felix smiled amused. ‘That's an odd reference.’

‘It's a great movie.’

‘It's the worst in the trilogy.’

‘Take that back!’ Chan splashed water on Felix's face.

Felix laughed and was forced to rearrange his wet hair yet once again. ‘I'm not saying it's _bad_! Just that it's the worst in the trilogy. The third is the best.’

‘The first one is the best!’

‘Debatable,’ said Felix amused at how carried away Chan was getting. ‘But either way, none of us places the 2 as the best one, therefore: it’s the worst.’

Chan rolled his eyes. ‘In any case, worse or not: it's a legit reference.’

‘Not really but in _High School Musical_ they're in swimming suits.’

‘Same thing.’

‘I was more thinking of _Skam_. Seems like a more accurate reference.’

Chan shrugged. ‘I wouldn't know. I never watched _Skam_ …’ Chan couldn't help but laugh slightly at how scandaled Felix looked as if he just had kicked a dog. ‘Jisung tried so many times to make me watch it but, you know, no time. Whenever I watch a movie or a show, I'm doing something else at the same time and I can't do that with a show that is in a language I don't understand...’

Felix shook his head. ‘You should've told me that before. We would’ve spent the day binge-watching _Skam_ instead of this.’

‘Next time, if you want.’

Felix smiled and was about to mention the dance Chan had promised to him, but Chan's phone rang again. Chan swam to the border and answered the phone on speaker, and it was enough for Felix to know that he would have to go soon to hook up with Soyoung.

Changbin's laugh resonated into the whole room, as he threw his head back and fell onto the bed, on his back.

‘It's not funny!’ said Hyunjin, taking his pillow and throwing it at Changbin from his bed, across the room from him.

Minho covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stop his laughter but the more high pitched version of his laugh couldn't be drowned out. Felix was also laughing but it was more at Changbin's reaction than anything else. One thing was sure, the comfort Hyunjin was hoping to find, he clearly wouldn't get it from his friends.

‘You are annoying! It's not funny! It's _embarrassing_!’

‘Well for you it's embarrassing. For us it's just funny,’ said Changbin as he sat back up on the bed, next to Felix.

‘So let me get this straight,’ said Felix, trying his best to stay serious facing Hyunjin's situation, to be a good supportive friend to him. ‘You had a beautiful intimate moment together and you walked him back to his room, and when you were about to kiss, you kissed his _cheek_?’

‘Yes,’ said Hyunjin full of shame as he looked down.

‘Why!?’

‘I don't know! I panicked!’ screamed Hyunjin and then he covered his face turned red.

‘Well, safe to say I won the bet,’ said Changbin, more proud of himself than ever, ‘and I didn't even have to move one finger.’

‘Ok, first of all, that's not true. I still have a bunch of time left. The bet ends at graduation, meaning May 22, meaning I have until February 22nd to find a boyfriend. We’re only on October 4th,’ said Hyunjin. ‘And two, not everything is about the bet, okay? I really like Seungmin.’

Hyunjin crossed his arms on his chest and pouted while leaning against the wall.

‘Then why didn't you kiss him?’ asked Minho.

Hyunjin turned to him, as they were sitting on the same bed, and then put his head on Minho's shoulder.

‘I don't know... I just want to know how to fix it because now he probably thinks I don't like him…’

Minho didn’t like seeing him this way, but he couldn’t deny that deep down (or not so deep down really) he was happy about Hyunjin screwing things up. The problem with that type of happiness was that it wouldn't last, because Hyunjin wasn't happy. If Hyunjin wasn’t happy, Minho wasn’t either. It was fucked up but that’s how it was. He could tell how much Hyunjin actually liked Seungmin. He hated it but trying to deny it when Minho knew him like the back of his hand would be simply idiotic. He just wished Hyunjin would like _him_ like that. However, trying to hold him back from being happy with someone else was unfair to both of them. Minho wouldn’t be happy if Hyunjin dated Seungmin but nor would he be happy if Hyunjin was unhappy. At least, if they ended up dating, one of them would be happy. And maybe Minho would finally move on.

‘Just talk to him…’ said Minho softly as he ran his fingers through Hyunjin's black hair. ‘Tell him you weren't sure you read the signals right or, you know, tell him you like him and maybe, just maybe, kiss him once and for all.’

Hyunjin smiled slightly amused. Minho was right but he was so scared for some reason. Seungmin was real. It wasn’t a stupid crush. It was more than that. Everything about it felt serious and it had been a long time since he felt that way - and that’s if he had ever really felt it before, which he wasn't so sure about. He didn't want to mess it up and it was because of that fear that he was screwing things up.

‘Yeah, that whole phase of wondering if he might like you or not, and all that shit, is good only for so long,’ said Changbin.

‘Talking about that...’ Hyunjin took his head off Minho's shoulder. ‘How was your date yesterday, Lix?’

Felix rolled his eyes. ‘It wasn't a date.’

‘And how come you know exactly what I was talking about?’

‘Because I didn’t see many people yesterday! You're an idiot, Hyunjin. I will never support you ever again,’ said Felix half-jokingly.

Hyunjin laughed amused. ‘Ok but you can understand my doubts. Chan and you are barely friends and you did all of that for him. Heck, you made us break into the archives room for him!’

‘It's not breaking in if it's not locked!’

‘But in all seriousness, though...,’ interrupted Minho knowing it would end up with them arguing and joking around. And regardless of Hyunjin’s real intentions, Minho really cared about the answer to a very simple question. ‘Do you like Chan?’

‘No!’ exclaimed Felix. ‘He's my friend and it was his birthday. You know how I am with my friends.’

‘Ok then…’ said Hyunjin as he put his arm around Minho's shoulders. ‘I'll be looking forward to whatever you have planned for Minho's birthday.’

‘Don't we already have something planned?’ asked Felix. ‘You are ridiculous, of course, I have a surprise for Minho but it's _different_. Chan didn't have anything planned and he never celebrates his birthday. Different circumstances.’

‘Wait what do you have planned?’ interrupted Changbin, looking up from his phone’s screen, as the conversation had regained his interest.

‘We're going to a club,’ answered Hyunjin happily, already excited about it. ‘Because it's his 18th birthday.’

‘How are you planning on getting in?’

‘We can pass for 18!’

Changbin looked at Hyunjin, then Felix, then back at Hyunjin. ‘No, you don't.’

And while Hyunjin and Changbin argued about whether they could pass for 18 or not, Minho could only wonder if Felix was lying to them. He wished it wasn’t the case. Because having an unrequited love was a pain he didn't wish on anyone, and especially not on Felix of all people. And as Hyunjin's arm was around his shoulders, he got reminded that worse than unrequited love was having an unrequited love for a friend. But then again, as he looked at Felix and Changbin sitting next to each other on the latest bed, Minho realized Felix probably wasn't such a stranger to the feeling.

Seungmin spent all his Sunday with Jisung. He told him more in detail what had happened with Hyunjin the night before and. Jisung laughed so much that Seungmin started to laugh about it as well, and it somehow made it better. They continued with the guitar lesson and Seungmin was learning how to go from one chord to the other fast enough to keep up with the pace of a song. All in all, Seungmin managed to keep both Hyunjin and Jeongin out of his mind, which was good because that was all he could think about the night before. 

When Chan came back from the library where he had studied most of the day, Seungmin took it as a sign he should be going back. It was starting to get late and he didn’t want to get into trouble. Again. However, as he went down the stairs from Jisung's room to get to his room, he saw Jeongin rushing out of the hallway from their floor and going down the stairs. Seungmin hadn't seen him in such a long time that it took him a while to realize it was real and he wasn't hallucinating. But it didn't take him long to decide he would follow him. He had the intention to stop him so they could talk, that’s all he wanted. But Jeongin was way faster and suddenly Seungmin was deep into the woods that surrounded the school.

Seungmin seemed to do a great job at being quiet because Jeongin didn't seem to ever notice. The more he walked, the more Seungmin was confused and curious about where they were going. What could Jeongin do in the middle of the woods a Sunday night? Were they going to the place Jeongin spent all his time? What type of place could be in the middle of the woods?

Jeongin eventually got to a little abandoned cabin, and that’s when Seungmin finally understood - but it also made space for way more questions than he could answer on his own. The house seemed a bit destroyed by time and was most likely abandoned. It seemed like that type of cabin in the woods that people could've used during hunting season, but Seungmin had read enough about the school to know it had been decades since they banned hunting in those woods. Jeongin must have found it when exploring the woods, and he could totally picture Jeongin doing that. He probably had made it his place. 

Seungmin didn't think about going in, but he wanted to make sure Jeongin was okay in that place. An abandoned cabin wasn't the best place to stay in, for many reasons. One, the cold. Two, the lack of comfort. Three, you never knew what animals were in the woods. And a hundred other reasons. Seungmin just wanted to take a peek and then he would leave Jeongin alone like he always had wanted. He wanted to talk to Jeongin, not break into his safe place.

Once Jeongin had been inside for a good five minutes, Seungmin approached the place as quietly and carefully as he could. He peeked through the window and saw Jeongin reading a comic book with a lollipop in his mouth. He seemed so at peace, so safe. He seemed the happiest Seungmin had ever seen him - a state he didn't even think Jeongin had in him.

It was enough for Seungmin to know he was okay and safe. So he stepped back carefully, with the intention to leave him alone, but his foot stepped on a fallen branch which broke under the pressure of his weight and caused a very much hearable sound. Seungmin closed his eyes wishing that sound wasn't loud enough for Jeongin to hear or to care. He was way too afraid to move, scared to make any more noise, so he just stood there hoping that if Jeongin had heard him then by not hearing anything else he would just forget about it. But when Seungmin reopened his eyes, Jeongin was standing on the frame of the door. All the peace and happiness Seungmin had seen on his face a minute ago was gone and he hated himself for making it go away.

‘The fuck are you doing here?’ asked Jeongin with no emotion but hatred. ‘It wasn't enough to almost get me expelled, now you're following me? Can't you take a fucking hint?’

Seungmin stood in silence, not sure to know what he could say to make it better. He didn't even know if there was a way to make it better. He did follow him after all. Jisung told him to give him time and space, Seungmin did the exact opposite.

Jeongin smirked and rolled his eyes. ‘Just go away, Seungmin. And if you tell anyone about this place, I _will_ kill you.’

‘I-I would never tell…’ Seungmin's words were merely a mumble. ‘But I wanted to talk to you.’

‘Well, I don't want to talk to you,’ said Jeongin, crossing his arms.

‘Just let me explain... I'm very sorry…’ said Seungmin, taking a step forward which only made Jeongin take a step back.

‘I told you to go away. I don't want to listen to you.’

Jeongin finally closed the door in his face leaving Seungmin speechless. The last thing he wanted to do was to make the situation worse by yelling at him what he wanted to say, but that started to look like the only way Jeongin would listen to him. This was not the way he wanted to tell Jeongin at all. But he needed him to understand so badly. So with all the courage he had, he opened the door and found Jeongin already sitting back at the same place as before with his comic book. 

‘Please listen to me.’

Jeongin looked up at him, with the same dark stare as before.

‘Yes, I knew my dad was coming, and I shouldn't have gotten you into my mess. I am _so_ sorry for that. You can't even begin to understand how sorry I am... I just needed to forget about him because…’ Seungmin took a breath. ‘I don't get along the greatest with him, okay?’

‘Well, he came for your birthday. That's more than my parents ever did for me.’

‘Yeah, to make up for all the bullshit.’ With those words, he could tell Jeongin was showing less resentment and more interest and curiosity. Seungmin sighed. ‘The woman you saw him with isn't my mom. She's his wife. Well... My stepmom, I guess. I lived with them for a year and shit didn't go well with his family _at all_ , to the point he thought it was better to drag me here than to try to include me in his new life. And then he comes for my birthday pretending everything is okay. So yeah, I didn’t want to pretend that everything was okay for once. I didn’t want to pretend that he didn’t pick his new kids and his new wife over me, and kicked me out of his life. And sure, he visits now but he didn't for _years_ but every year he would come for my birthday but every time it was a mess.’

Seungmin was starting to feel the hurt in his chest remembering it all. He didn't even want to go into details, because there wasn't much more to tell than he had been hurt by everyone in his family. The truth was Seungmin didn't belong anywhere, simply because no one actually wanted him.

‘I'm sorry I brought you into my shit, I really am. And this isn't an excuse, it's just an explanation so you understand why it happened,’ Seungmin shrugged. ‘Thought you deserved that after I almost got you expelled.’

Seungmin didn't even dare to look at Jeongin again. He knew it wasn't much. He knew it was hard to understand because from the outside it didn't seem as much. He had a family, and his father showed up, didn’t he? But Seungmin was hurting. He was hurting badly and he was incapable to recognize it himself. He wanted to believe it was okay to not belong. He wanted to believe it was okay not to be wanted. And it was okay, but he wasn't okay.

He turned around and as he was about to open the door, he heard Jeongin saying his name. Seungmin turned around once again to look at Jeongin and he saw that the glare was gone. He could breathe again. Jeongin stayed quiet for a couple of seconds, looking at him, up and down, until he finally sighed.

‘You can stay if you want... But you stay quiet and you sit on the other side of the room,’ he said, pointing at the wall at his right. 

Seungmin smiled slightly and sat where he was pointed to. There were pillows on the floor and right next to it there was a pile of comic books. As he looked through the pile, Jeongin went back to an intense reading to the one he had on his hands as he kept his lollipop.

‘I can take whichever?’ asked Seungmin looking up at Jeongin.

‘Yeah, those are the ones I already read and I don't give a shit about,’ said Jeongin, not even looking up from his comic book.

‘Thank you…’

‘Told you to be quiet.’

‘Can I have a lollipop?’

Jeongin looked up at Seungmin and glared at him. ‘Don't push it, Kim.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/jjulskz)


	13. Chapter 13

‘Go talk to him!’

Hyunjin barely paid attention to Changbin's voice as he looked at Seungmin from across the hallway who was talking to Jisung. They were laughing and Hyunjin couldn't shake the feeling that they were laughing at him.

‘You know, staring at him won't take you anywhere and it just might make everything worse,’ said Changbin crossing his arms. Hyunjin finally looked back at Changbin who was in front of him. ‘Talk to him.’

‘What can I say? “Sorry for kissing your cheek”? I don't think that's something you actually apologize for,’ said Hyunjin feeling pressure on his chest. He knew they needed to talk but he didn't even know where to start a conversation like that. ‘What if he only sees me as a friend?’

‘What are you talking about!? He likes you!’

‘What if all this time he has been making fun of me with Han? Because God knows all the shit that Han might have told him about me!’ Changbin could hear the insecurity in Hyunjin's voice - it wasn't something that happened often especially when it came to boys, but Changbin had heard it before. Hyunjin eventually shrugged. ‘Maybe it's for the best.’

Changbin shook his head. ‘You like this guy. So why are you giving up so easily?’

‘Why do you care so much? You'll win the bet.’

Changbin rolled his eyes. ‘As you said yesterday: not everything is about the bet. And bet or not, I don't wanna see you being miserable!’ Hyunjin broke away from Changbin's stare. ‘You're always so confident with everyone, what makes this so different?’

Hyunjin sighed. ‘Well, for starters: Han.’

‘Well, maybe at some point you should stop seeing him as the reincarnation of Satan.’ Hyunjin opened his mouth to complain but Changbin quickly put his index finger on his lips so he wouldn't talk. ‘Yes, you guys don't get along _at all_ but he's not out to get you, okay? Jisung is a good guy, he just doesn't like you and that doesn't make him the devil. Would _you_ go such an extra length to make fun of him?’

‘Nah, there's way easier ways to make fun of him.’

Changbin smiled slightly. ‘Not the answer I was looking for but I’ll take it.’ Changbin sighed. ‘What I mean is that Jisung has other things to do than fuck with your life, okay? Yes, they're probably making fun of you, but in the same way that _we_ made fun of you, and that's because Seungmin told him which - if you think about it- is good.’

‘Is it? Because the way I see it: he now either hates me or he never liked me in the first place,’ said Hyunjin and Changbin could hear in his voice he was believing his every word.

‘He _does_ like you. Can you stop being so insecure and just go talk to him?’ asked Changbin, as Hyunjin's attitude was getting on his nerves. ‘If you don't talk to him, you're gonna miss out on an amazing chance. Seungmin is the first guy I see you _actually_ like more than just the idea of him.’

‘That's not true.’

‘Yes, it is.’ Hyunjin rolled his eyes. ‘Listen, I'm gonna go to soccer practice with Jisung and you're gonna go talk to Seungmin.’

Hyunjin frowned. ‘I was supposed to go to practice with you. I told Minho I would be there and-’

‘Well, you're allowed to go _only_ once you talk to Seungmin. Plus, if you don't talk to him, they're probably gonna keep making fun of you. Is that what you want?’ Hyunjin still didn't seem that convinced so Changbin took a big breath. He couldn't believe Hyunjin out of all the people was acting this way. Usually, he had this type of conversation with Jisung - which was pretty ironic. ‘Listen, what could be the worst to come from it?’

‘I die of embarrassment.’

‘No one is dying, Hyunjin.’

‘I wouldn’t be so sure.’

‘Hyunjin, the worst you can do right now is not talk to him. If he likes you, then now he probably thinks you don't like him back and he's gonna be hurt. If he doesn't like you, then you'll just clear things up and stop wasting time. This allows you to finally know where you stand.’

‘Are you seriously telling me to have the “what are we” conversation right now?’ asked Hyunjin, mocking him but also with fear in his eyes, thinking that it was _way_ too soon for that.

‘Well, you're the one that kissed him on the cheek, not me. I'm just giving you solutions to your problem.’

Hyunjin closed his eyes and growled. ‘Why can't you just let me ignore it and move on?’

‘Because I’m being a good friend.’

‘Well, can’t you be an asshole right now?’

Changbin rolled his eyes before grabbing Hyunjin's wrist and dragging him towards Jisung and Seungmin, who both looked up at them surprised.

‘Jisung! We're going to practice!’ said Changbin as he let go of Hyunjin's wrist and looked insistently at Jisung. It would've been much easier to drag Jisung out of there if it weren't for his crutches, but Changbin hoped his words were enough.

Jisung frowned, confused, ‘What the fuck are you talking about? Did you hit your head and forget I have a broken foot?’

‘Yes, but you promised you would come to practice this week.’

‘No, I didn't.’

‘Yes, you did.’

‘No, I didn’t. I'm supposed to give Seungmin guitar lessons,’ said Jisung, confused. Part of Changbin was convinced that he was doing it on purpose. 

‘It's fine…,’ interrupted Seungmin before Changbin could say a word in response. ‘Just go ahead. I'll meet you in a bit, yeah?’

Jisung looked at Seungmin and then at Hyunjin, just to sigh heavily. ‘Okay, sure... But don't go too crazy with all the cheek kissing though.’

Seungmin closed his eyes and bit his lip embarrassed at Jisung's comment and Jisung “walked” away with the biggest smile on his face while Hyunjin's face had turned entirely red. Changbin followed Jisung but turned one last time to Hyunjin and mouthed the words: “you got this”. Hyunjin wasn't really sure he did though.

‘I'm sorry for that comment…,’ said Seungmin. ‘I told him not to say anything.’

Hyunjin stayed in silence for what felt forever, incapable of forming the words. ‘I-It's okay…’

Seeing that Hyunjin wasn't ready to say anything else, Seungmin decided to make it easier for him. ‘Did you wanna talk about something?’

‘Hmm... Yeah.’

‘About Saturday night?’

He nodded slowly. ‘I-I'm sorry…’

‘You didn't do anything wrong.’

‘I made it awkward…’

Seungmin smiled slightly. ‘Just a bit... But you know, it's okay if you don't like me that way. I just... Wish you would tell me now so I don't keep my hopes up.’

‘No! I do like you!’

The words left Hyunjin's mouth without him even having the time to think about it, and at first, he wanted to hit himself on the face for it, but as soon as he saw Seungmin's look change from worried to relieved, he knew he had done the good choice.

‘I-I…’ He took a breath. ‘I like you, I really do... I seriously don't know what passed through my mind when you were going to kiss me... I just…’ Hyunjin sighed. Seungmin didn't say anything during that time of silence to avoid pressuring Hyunjin. What he needed now was honesty, not what Hyunjin thought he wanted to hear. ‘I didn't want to mess it up... I know how ironic that is because I actually messed up but... I really like you, Seungmin, and the last time I really liked someone like I like you now, I messed it up by going too fast and... I just don't want to make the same mistakes again.’

Seungmin nodded slowly with a reassuring smile on his lips. ‘It's okay if we go slow, Hyunjin... I'm totally okay with that, believe me. I just... I need to know where you stand and if I'm the problem, and I get it if I am.’

‘No, you're not.’ Hyunjin laughed slightly. ‘Never thought I would say this but... It's not you, it's me.’ Seungmin smiled amused and almost didn't feel how Hyunjin grabbed his hand because of how natural it felt. ‘I really like you... I really do. And that's where I stand.’

Seungmin nodded happily. ‘I like you too, Hyunjin.’

Hyunjin's body was so full of relief that he couldn't help but smile. Seungmin always had a way to make him feel comfortable. He simply didn't want to mess it up this time and he was so glad Seungmin understood that without having to explain why exactly he felt that way. 

‘I need to go now, though,’ said Seungmin.

Hyunjin nodded. ‘Yeah, me too... I promised Minho I would go to his practice and he pretends he doesn't care, but he actually does so... I really should go.’

Seungmin laughed slightly. ‘Ok then... See you tomorrow."

Hyunjin was about to answer, but he suddenly felt Seungmin kissing his cheek softly, and before he could process what had just happened Seungmin was walking away proud of himself. Yes. Hyunjin really liked him. He was different from everyone he had ever liked before. And that was a good thing.

Seungmin was curled up on a blanket sitting on the cushions while reading a book for his English class in Jeongin's cabin. Comics only did so much for him. He liked them but he couldn't read them all afternoon like Jeongin did. When they got to the cabin, Seungmin told Jeongin about how he was gonna go for a book today and asked if he minded, but Jeongin barely looked at him and just told him to do whatever he wanted as long as he stayed quiet. And that's what Seungmin did.

However, for as much as he tried, he couldn't focus on the words on the page. It was like he read the words, but didn't understand the sentences. All he kept thinking about was the conversation he had with Hyunjin two days before. They hadn't really spoken afterward, which was what bothered him the most. He was good with taking things slow, but he was starting to doubt Hyunjin even though he trusted him and wanted to believe him. Maybe Hyunjin just didn't like him as much as he thought he did. 

Seungmin tried to be rational about it. Hyunjin had swim practice on Tuesdays, but he didn't give him a specific reason for today. When they got out of class, Seungmin was about to talk to him before leaving for Jeongin's cabin, but Felix and Minho were already there and Hyunjin went straight to them. It made sense. They were his best friends. They did sit together in a couple of classes, but they didn't really talk in class. But every time Hyunjin sat next to Changbin, they wouldn't stop talking. So why wasn't he talking to him? Not that Seungmin actually liked talking in class, but he wouldn't mind if it was Hyunjin. Maybe Hyunjin was just trying to respect him.

All of this had never bothered Seungmin before, but now he was overthinking everything about what he had - or didn't have - with Hyunjin. He knew that Hyunjin usually had gone fast with his previous partners, so why was he like this with him? Not that Seungmin wanted to go fast, but he still wanted a bit more than what they had now. Because they actually didn't have anything. Just an understanding that they both liked each other. Maybe it was unfair for him to expect more from Hyunjin, especially after their conversation, but he couldn’t help it.

‘You're annoying me.’

Seungmin looked up from the book on his knees that had been open on the same page for the last half an hour now.

‘I didn't say anything…’

‘You're thinking too loud,’ said Jeongin. He sighed and rolled his eyes as if what he was going to say next required the biggest effort ever. ‘What's wrong?’

‘Nothing…,’ lied Seungmin. He didn't want to bother Jeongin with his overthinking. In the past month they had known each other, he learned that Jeongin didn't care about this type of thing.

‘You've been staring at the same page for the past half an hour, so something is clearly wrong,’ said Jeongin. ‘If you're not gonna read, I don't know why you're here. You can just go.’

Seungmin sighed. He could just get up and leave, and maybe that would be better because he could go watch a tv show in his room or go see Jisung to keep his mind off Hyunjin, but he wanted to stay. Jeongin was starting to let him in and he wanted to stay. ‘It's about Hyunjin…’

Jeongin frowned. ‘What did he do?’

Seungmin shook his head. ‘Nothing, really... It's kind of dumb.’ Jeongin stared at him and didn't say a word, but Seungmin knew it meant he wanted him to keep going. ‘I... We had a moment on Saturday, and when he walked me back to our room, I tried to kiss him... And basically, he dodged it and kissed me on the cheek.’

Jeongin stayed quiet and blinked several times, in complete confusion. ‘Why?’ It was all Jeongin said, and it didn't reassure Seungmin much more. From what he had gathered, Hyunjin was confident with people he liked, he had dated before and it usually went fast. So why wasn't like that with him? Of course Seungmin wanted it to last, whatever they had, but he wanted to at least kiss him. 

‘He came to me on Monday and we talked about it. He said something about him messing up before by going too fast, and that he wanted to take things slow - which I'm totally okay with... But we haven't really talked ever since and now I'm kinda scared he meant it as a... Stop,’ said Seungmin, with his voice dying out slowly.

Jeongin frowned, even more confused than before. ‘When has he ever cared about messing a relationship by going too fast?’

‘You tell me. You know him from forever, not me.’

‘Well, it's been a long time since he has talked to me that type of thing... Maybe you could ask Changbin,’ said Jeongin, shrugging.

‘I think Changbin hates me for what happened with you... And either way, I don't care about Hyunjin's past. If he wanted to tell me about it, he would. I just…’ Seungmin sighed. ‘Does he really like me? Because he said he did but I don't know anymore. I mean, do you really act this way with someone you like?’

Jeongin laughed slightly. ‘You talked _two_ days ago, Seungmin. Wait a bit more before you jump to conclusions and start freaking out. Whatever you guys have going on, he still is a busy guy and that has always been that way. But either way, he does like you.’

‘You told me he didn't tell you about all of this.’

‘Yeah, but I've known him since forever and I know when he likes someone,’ said Jeongin going back to his comic to put an end to the conversation. Truth was, he had no clue if Hyunjin _actually_ liked Seungmin. He thought he did, but what Seungmin was telling him made next to no sense to him at all. But then again, before the bet and Seungmin, it had been a long time since Hyunjin had talked to him about that type of stuff.

‘Did he used to come here too?’ asked Seungmin after a couple of minutes in silence.

Jeongin nodded slightly, pretending to be still focused on his comic, but he couldn't help but feel pain in his chest. 

‘Did you find it together?’

Jeongin nodded again. ‘First year…’

‘Jeongin…’ Jeongin looked up at Seungmin, with the lollipop on his mouth - which Seungmin had guessed by now was a habit of his when he read comics. ‘Am I the only one that knows about this place apart from you two?’

Jeongin rolled his eyes and went back to the comics. ‘Don't flatter yourself too much. It's just because everyone else respects my privacy and you don't. You're not special.’

But Seungmin couldn't help but smile, because in some way, whatever way, he _was_ special. After all, he had let him go back. And that meant something.

Contrary to common belief, Jeongin didn't like being mad. He liked it way more when everything was the same as always and he didn't have to waste energy on others. However, lately, it felt like everyone was out there to make him mad. He had gotten used to Seungmin's presence in his space, but it never was something he wanted in the first place. He had gotten involved in the bet for Hyunjin because he always thought Hyunjin made the right decisions when it came to guys. Apparently, he was wrong. And since Seungmin had told him about what happened, he couldn't help to feel like what he was doing for Hyunjin was all for nothing. And that seemed to be a pattern when it came to Hyunjin.

‘Innie!’

Jeongin didn't even care to turn around because he knew exactly what was coming, and he wanted to enjoy his last moments of being free of Changbin as he walked towards the cafeteria to have lunch. But soon enough, Changbin was already wrapping his arms around him from behind.

‘You're back!’

‘Never went anywhere.’

Changbin let go of his tight grip, and Jeongin turned to him. ‘You know what I mean.’

‘Hmm... Can I go eat now?,’ asked Jeongin.

‘Let's just wait for Jisung and Seungmin. They're slow. I mean... Jisung is slow because of his broken foot and everything,’ said Changbin. ‘He's gonna be so happy to see you though.’ Changbin himself seemed very happy to see him, and Jeongin hated it. Why wasn't he able to disappear and then no one making a big deal about it? He really wasn't worth all the worrying and caring. ‘Are you having lunch with us?"

Jeongin shrugged. ‘Define “us”.’

‘Me, Jisung, and most likely Chan.’

Jeongin nodded slowly. ‘What about Seungmin?’

Changbin smiled slightly amused. ‘You missed out on a lot between Hyunjin and Seungmin. I'll tell you about it later. But the thing is that Seungmin and Hyunjin are eating together, a date type of thing I guess. You gotta be creative to have dates in this place.’

‘Oh... Cool,’ said Jeongin, not sounding as convincing as he wanted to. Apparently, things had changed since Seungmin talked to him, meaning two days ago. He should be happy, right? Yet, he felt left out. And for the first in a long time, it somehow bothered him.

That’s when he saw Jisung and Seungmin walking towards them. Even at a distance, Jeongin could see Jisung's happiness on his face. Jisung was way less loud about his love for him than Changbin, and he tried to respect his boundaries more, but he was still a very expressive and loving person. At least he tried, Jeongin had to give him that. 

‘So are you having lunch with us then?’ asked Changbin again.

Jeongin sighed. ‘Why not…’

Changbin jumped a bit and hugged him once again. Jeongin tried resisting but Changbin was way stronger than him. By the time Changbin let him go, Jisung and Seungmin were in front of them. Apparently, Hyunjin was going to meet Seungmin later because of an issue he had at the library and on Fridays, the library closed sooner so it was the only time he could do it. Meanwhile, Seungmin would stay with them. 

They joined Chan who was already in line with Felix and Minho. It felt like forever had happened since Jisung had seen Minho for the last time. It felt a bit weird, how they avoided each other's look or how Jisung would abstain from making certain jokes he felt weren’t good enough, whereas other times he would say whatever came to mind. But it was easy to stay quiet because Changbin, Chan, and Felix were the people that led the conversation.

Even if neither of them talked a lot, Jisung really wanted to stay as long as possible with Minho. It was truly such a stupid thought because what he really needed to do was to get away from him. But it almost came to the point where he forgot what had gone wrong between them. Because he was so pretty and he made him feel butterflies in his stomach, that type you don’t get for any dumb crush. That was until Hyunjin arrived and Jisung saw him instinctively putting his arm around Minho's shoulder. Minho told him something that Jisung wasn't able to hear due to all the talking around them, and mainly Changbin being loud as always, and then the two best friends laughed. That's when Jisung remembered, and it felt like breaking his heart all over again.

 _That's_ why he needed to avoid Minho.

Unfortunately for him, Felix, Chan, and Changbin were so into their conversation about god-knows-what that they ended up deciding to have lunch all together. That's the first time Minho and Jisung exchange a real look. Minho smiled slightly at him and Jisung tried to smile as well, but their moment - or whatever you could call it - was broken by Changbin lowkey screaming: ‘Wait! Hyunjin and Seungmin were going to have a date!’

Jisung couldn't help but laugh at how red Seungmin had turned, and he could just feel Hyunjin wanting to murder Changbin, right before they actually got into the cafeteria and started to get their food. Usually, Chan was the one to help him with his tray but this time his head seemed to be elsewhere, so Jeongin was actually the one to help. Minho was with Felix, Chan, and Changbin, and meanwhile, Hyunjin and Seungmin were left a bit behind.

Jisung didn't really care to listen to whatever was happening between the two - mainly because he knew that he would know about it later through Seungmin later. Meanwhile, Jeongin took the food he wanted and what Jisung wanted and put it on two different trays.

‘So how are you?’

Jeongin looked at him and frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I haven't seen you in a while... That's why I'm asking.’

Jeongin smiled slightly. ‘I'm okay... You?’

‘I’ve had better days,’ said Jisung as he lifted his leg. Jeongin smiled amused. ‘Just a couple of weeks more, though.’

‘That won't fix your crush, though,’ said Jeongin, and as Jisung choked on his own saliva, Jeongin turned to him with an innocent look. ‘Apple or orange?’

‘What do you mean crush?’ Jisung lowered his voice even though he was pretty sure Hyunjin and Seungmin were too far behind to hear them and they didn’t care either way.

‘Well, Minho…’

‘Who told you!?’

‘No one... I can tell... So, apple or orange?’

Jisung felt his heartbeat race. ‘Did Changbin tell you?’

‘No.’

‘Chan?’

‘No one told me! I know you, Han! And you know what else I know?’ Jisung shook his head. ‘If Hyunjin finds out, he's gonna murder you.’

‘The only reason why he could even come close to murder me is because I can't run at the moment,’ said Jisung rolling his eyes.

Jeongin picked up the two trays and Jisung followed him as they walked towards the table where their friends were going far ahead.

‘But either way, murder or not... You don't want to get into that,’ said Jeongin, and his tone was more serious.

‘Why? What do you know?’

‘Falling for Minho is not a good idea. Just... Trust me, yeah?’

And Jisung did. He could trust Jeongin with his own life. But it was hard to listen to his words when he had Minho next to him, laughing and being his beautiful self. It was hard to remember what Jeongin said when their fingers accidentally touched when they both reached for the water at the same time. 

Jisung trusted Jeongin, but he felt like there was already no going back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked for minsung so here are some crumbs for now  
> Thank you so much for reading :)
> 
> [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/jjulskz)


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